Cosmetology is a growing field. People take on the profession almost every day, but what does cosmetology mean to me? Although doing hair wasn't always my thing, I took the time to learn. My two white fathers adopted me 3 days after my birth because of my birth mother and father's drug abuse. My adoptive parents had little a clue on what to do with my hair, yet they tried their best. As a child, I had a little insight into my culture or black history. I learned how important hair is to African-Americans. Having no black parental figure in my life, finding myself was a struggle, but nothing I couldn't overcome. I persevered and learned as much as I could to figure out that my hair was more than just a feature. In black hair history, different styles and looks derive from all over the world; engraved images and hieroglyphs of box braids and dreadlocks can be found in Egypt, Twisted Locs, Hindu Vedic Scriptures, and intricate braids from Nigeria. In the 1860s cornrows were used as maps for the underground railroad, helping slaves to reach the north. Freedom could be obtained with the help of hair. These facts I did not know about until my 9th grade year and they were the spark to my interest in cosmetology. My hair is history. Being able to learn and discover new things about others and my hair has become not only a hobby but a soon to be career. My goal in cosmetology is to help others find “their” looks. Something that brings out their confidence. Creating my business where I can manage and be the head of helping others is my dream. I want to conserve the meaning of black hair and its deep roots. I have chosen this field (cosmetology) because to me it means that I can be a role-model to other member of the black community who were like me, not knowing much about what their hair really means. Different hairstyles wrap around time, and one over another, like a braid. Hair will continue to be something that is more than it appears. My desire to be a person who is knowledgeable and inspirational is strong and can overcome any obstacles that I face. I will be someone who leaves an impact on others, through hair, or telling my story. I will let the world know who I am through my work because hard work gets you place. I will do my research and gain experience to get to where I want to be. As said best by Madam C.J. Walker, “I feel I am in a business that is a credit to the womanhood of our race.”

The word experience is subjective. Because there is no specific emotion tied to the word “experience”. I could go in a negative direction or go the positive direction, but mental health isn't just negative or positive, it's a journey with high highs and low lows. This journey, my journey with mental health and my exposure, has been a struggle. As a little girl, I had a decent relationship with myself and I liked myself for who I was. This. This ended up not lasting. My household was filled with anger. I didn't completely understand anger and why people got so upset. I thought it was almost normal to lash out at people. That's what I learned and grew up with, still I was a little kid and tried to do my best with what I was given. Eventually, I couldn' take it anymore. I started being mean and stealing from my teachers (2nd-3rd grade). Of course,course, my parents got called, and, and the situation was “handled”.. This is when I lost track of who I really could be. I started losing myself. I was surrounded by people that would let their emotions build and then explode after not getting their way. Towards these reactions, I developed resentment. I thought if I tried to help others with their problems, it would get rid of mine. I couldn't understand why someone who loved me would do things to hurt me. I developed a thought process of “you can hurt and be mean to the people you love”. That's what I was taught. Through the years, lied more and more, and my quality of health dwindled. My state of mind got to a point where helping others wasn't enough anymore. The helping was hurting; I was hurting myself. I couldn't cope and I felt as though my only way of getting back to reality was to physically bring myself back. I slashed and cut off all the people who loved me and would do anything to help. A became lost in a sea of red. This state of mind lasted a few years. I was getting high every hour of the day, sneaking out, self-harming, and it got so bad that I ran away from my home. I struggled with loving myself and finding out who I was as a person. My lifestyle comprised lying, stealing, and self-defeating actions. I let go of the little carefree girl I was and turned into a hateful person. My parents couldn't handle how I was acting and sent me away. I was put into a therapeutic wilderness camp for girls. My campstay was 17 months in total. Slowly but surely, I gained coping skills and ways to deal with my trauma. I grew as a person. I bettered myself and regained the characteristics of that carefree little girl that I was. My relationship with myself was growing. Though self-love is a tedious process and it took me a long time to really accept myself for who I was and am today. I feared slipping back into the person who I was and still have that fear today; the thing with fear is that the more scared you are, the more power you give away. I thought about going back far too often. I was constituently thinking about my old lifestyle. It consumed me. Once again, experience is subjective and to me so is mental health because not everyone has the same experiences, each person can take off the question differently. “How has your experience with mental health shaped your goals, relationships, and understanding of the world?” My relationship with myself seems to be a never-ending rollercoaster, consistently going up and down. The ride cycles and repeats as if to never be broken. My understanding of the world is vague and I have much to learn,learn, but my trials and tribulations have taught me so much. It's time to break the cycle.

Entrepreneurial opportunities and limitless creativity are just two of the many things that I hope to gain from pursuing a cosmetology education and profession. For me, creativity is essential as it allows me to express myself and channel my energy in various ways. When I am being creative, I am at my best, and becoming a cosmetologist would provide me with endless opportunities to express my creativity. Since I was a young girl, I have always dreamed of opening my own business, but I was unsure of what type of business I wanted to work toward. Growing up with two white parents who struggled with curly hair, I took it upon myself to learn as much as I could about hair growth, protection, and different hairstyles. Over the past six, almost seven years, I have been doing my hair at least three times a week, constantly learning and expanding my knowledge about hair. I hope to continue this journey throughout my cosmetology education. In the past two years, I have discovered the significance of hair, not just for myself, but for others as well. In black culture, hair is considered an asset. During times of slavery, cornrows were used as a way to give directions to the underground railroad, and braids were used to create maps to the north, helping slaves escape their masters. During the civil rights movement, hair was used as a form of rebellion against European standards, with people of color embracing their natural hair with pride. The history of black hair is a long and winding journey that spans across the world and will continue for generations to come. It is like a braid, with each twist and turn representing a different aspect of its history. Through my own personal journey, I have come to understand the deep cultural significance of black hair, and I hope to educate others while helping them find their own unique style. My ultimate goal is to help others feel confident and comfortable in their own skin and hair. I have both short-term and long-term goals that I am actively working towards. I am determined to succeed in cosmetology, and I have taught myself how to braid, lay a lace, and I am currently mastering polygel nails. I am committed to incorporating creativity into my profession, and my journey has already equipped me with a variety of skills that I hope to continue to develop. Breaking down barriers and challenging societal standards to express my creativity is a personal goal of mine. Hair has the power to express and mean so much more than we may realize, and my knowledge and understanding of this will help me achieve my dreams. The journey may be long and winding, but by mapping out my goals, I am confident that I will reach new heights in my career.

What is my inspiration? Why do I want to be a cosmetologist? How did I discover my passion? All the questions, to me, have such a deep meaning and answer. Helping young girls find themselves in their hair is my goal. Every girl deserves to feel special and beautiful. Hair is such an important part of culture; being able to express yourself through something that is a part of you is liberating. It almost feels as though you could exist without any chains by being free in your own hair and skin. I discovered that the roots of your hair go deeper than I thought. Growing up being adopted by two white fathers, hair care was an obstacle. My dads didn't know much about hair– especially black hair. Of course, they tried their best to make me look presentable, learning about things like leave-in conditioner and hair oils. They gave me the courage to untangle the mystery of me; I knew I could take my hair to the next level. Once I entered middle school, YouTube and Sally Beauty were my saving grace. I learned so many things about “my” kind of hair. I found eco gel, edge brushes, and so much more. For the first time in 7th grade I discovered box braids, and after eight long hours I was finished. I was so proud. My accomplishment may have been common, but, to me, I was thrown into an emotional whirlwind. My hair unlocked a part of me I didn't know existed. I never had a mother to braid my hair, so by taking on that role, my connection to my roots grew stronger. It was a new found sense of self, and doing hair to me is being connected to my ancestry. I discovered my new passion. My inspiration and love for hair grew day by day, blossoming into what I hope to be a career. In the past six years, I have learned so much about hair care and maintenance, and my goal is to achieve mastery in this career path. I think that girls like me should have a role model who can provide them with a service that connects them to family, or themselves, in a way they may have never experienced. Hair has its own roots, roots that grow deep. Discovering my roots gave me a passion I hope to share with all girls. So what inspired me? Personal growth and self-discovery.