First-generation, international, parent, with heart disease and cluttered past - how is that for traditional? After moving to another country after High School, I had a strong desire to “break the mold,” but how I did that differed from how I planned to. Three years into my international Bachelors in Pastoral Ministry at a Bible College with a graduating class smaller than most Kindergarten classrooms, the real journey began. As I began to envision life after graduation, numerous plot twists occurred, beginning with the birth of my son. Bennett, now 4, has ASD, ADHD, and communication deficiency. If being a parent wasn’t difficult enough, learning to communicate and express love to your child who cant communicate his needs and wants was heartbreaking. To top off this introduction into parenthood, Bennett’s mother experienced complications from the delivery, leading to a full body infection. As the team at Royal Colombian Hospital cared for her, I cared for my son and prepared my heart to be a single father. My heart couldn’t stand being under the stress (literally and figuratively), and it broke - I went into cardiac arrest and was rushed into emergency surgery. With both parents under the knife, my son was taken in by a caring team of social workers. The story didn’t stop there. As an international student I had no rights, no healthcare, and no real standing, which meant as I pushed towards graduation, I was also being pushed out of the country. By the grace of God I was able to finish and the school allowed me to walk at our commencement ceremony so long as I finished my remaining credits online that summer. I was able to accomplish that somehow, while in the midst of moving twice - the final move to a city I had never been. Despite graduating amidst the difficulties, I felt my life, and especially my educational opportunities, were over. I accepted the fact I was stuck, period. I had no plans to continue my education and no idea how to go farther in life - I was without hope and without a future, but thankfully the story didn’t end there. After dead end jobs in the restaurant industry and telemarketing, Covid hit, giving me an unexpected fresh start. Through the advice of a man I’d run into only a few times at church, I fell into a role at a substance abuse treatment facility. Within months of beginning the new job I had discovered a passion and a calling - there was hope once more. I knew I needed skills to succeed so despite being a 2 years removed from an undergrad and dead broke, I began a Masters in Counseling online. I type this scholarship application out as I sit next to my wife (an incredible Woman I found and married in that new city), plan a train ride with my son, and close a week of full time work and part time school. At 25 I am many things; Husband, Father, Counselor, Student, but most of all, mold-breaker. 4 years ago my life fell to shambles, I thought I was nothing, I had nothing. As I look back on the journey God walked with me through, I realize in order for the mold to be broken, I had to be broken, and rebuilt. The thing that drives me toward the future is simply the hope there is one. Even in the darkest nights there is the promise of the morning - God can, and will always turn our brokenness to beauty, we just have to let Him.

Stress has historically been an obstacle for me, maybe obstacle is an understatement. As I finished my Senior year and prepared for College, I often experienced chest pain, palpitations, and dizziness - one episode nearly led to a car accident. What was it? An arrhythmia, stress-induced, yet I thought nothing of it, assuming it would pass with the transition. Within a year symptoms returned, and they were joined by muscle fatigue, blurry vision, and blackouts. My arrhythmia had developed into a full-blown heart disease, which the medical team at deemed due to a genetic mutation. That's right, stress had caused my genes to mutate, leading to heart disease - I was an X-men character, but without the superpowers, nickname, or tights (the tights I could go without). I wish my pursuit of personal wellness began there, but it took 5 years filled with poor coping mechanisms, heart surgery, and countless episodes like those mentioned above before I finally realized the only person in control of my health was me. I am now Married, have a 4-year-old, am halfway through a Graduate program, and work full time - stress is a daily occurrence, and self-care a daily necessity. I've tried numerous routes of self-care, including the classic 'Tears in the Tub of Ice Cream' (a personal favorite, although ineffective), before finding a routine that worked for me, my heart, and my personal goals. Many people view self-care as splurging to avoid breakdowns, shopping sprees, or an excuse to blow off responsibility - at least I did when I began this journey. As I dove deeper, I realized personal wellness is much more than guilty pleasures, good cries, and eating right, although Google suggests these. Personal wellness is a holistic journey of self-understanding and self-love. To fully love something, or someone, we must fully know it - loving ourselves is no different. As we learn more about ourselves, our needs, and our love languages, we grow in self-love and personal wellness. Once this shifted for me, everything else changed. My heart disease became a reminder that I have a responsibility to care for myself as I have others depending on me, I began to recognize my poor coping mechanisms as unloving attempts at self-protection, and I noticed the effects of stress as moments where my self-love bucket was draining. As I continued this pursuit, I had to ask myself; what, who, where, and why do I love? The when is obvious, it's all the time - and time is the first step to personal wellness. Time management is integral to my personal wellness, without it, everything else ceases to be effective. Once I began to manage my time well, I could plan self-love effectively and efficiently, which includes prayer, community, a proper sleep schedule, exercise, activities I enjoy doing (like basketball), quality time with the people I love, and firm boundaries. I choose to make time for these things because time is not found, it is made, and in my journey, I have learned that putting yourself first allows you to serve others well. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and having the self-respect for firm boundaries, as well as discipline in your pursuit of holistic wellness, are ways we love ourselves and keep our cup full. This has helped me tremendously, both my heart and faith are growing stronger, my coping mechanisms and work-life balance are healthy, my motivation and focus are high, and my performance and presence are steady. In short, I maintain the best version of myself for those around me and the responsibilities required of me.

My son was born near the end of my undergraduate program. He was an unexpected blessing and has shaped my life for the better in numerous ways. With my son's arrival there came an abundance of change. Learning to care for and connect with a new human, while finishing up my BA and working part-time was no easy task, the sleep deprivation didn't help either. Once I graduated, going back to school didn't even seem to be an option so I quickly let go of that dream in pursuit of being a great Father. Today, I have a 4-year-old son we discovered has autism, am working full-time in Substance Use Recovery, and pursuing a master’s degree. In these skin-deep facets of my life, numerous challenges occur, many below the surface, and in all, the abundance of change remains. Having a child is one of the most challenging, exciting, and fulfilling things in life. It leads to self-realization and growth for parent’s as we learn about the life we’ve been entrusted with. In addition to the challenge of raising a 4-year-old, I’ve had the opportunity to learn about autism, how it impacts my son's view of the world, and ultimately who he is. My son is not 'autistic,' it is not a label that defines him. Autism is something he experiences that affects how he interprets the world, and how things in his world affect him. It is an expression of how his mind operates, which is truly fascinating. Regardless of any challenges in raising a child with autism, the only way to see past the difficult moments, has been to learn about and know my son, and to love my son deeply. Another aspect that impacted not only my world, but the entire world, was Covid. I am a U.S. Citizen, but my son is Canadian, thus the entrance of Covid caused border closures, travel restrictions, and ultimately, separation from my son during key developmental stages of his life. Restrictions are now lifting, but during the 2 years in which access to my son was extremely limited, the abundance of change continued in effects to my mental health, my career path, and my education. Covid's arrival separated me from my son, eliminated my job - which led me into Substance Use Counseling and created enough free time (in combination with God's calling) to return to school. I eventually chose an Online Counseling program, which impressed in me the need to pursue my own mental wellness, not only for myself and future profession but more importantly, for my son. I can say confidently that through counselling I have found healing from my past, improved as a father, progressed as an employee and student, and grown in time management. The recurring theme throughout this essay, and life, is the abundance of change and limitation of time. The biggest challenge of being a parent, full-time employee, and graduate student isn't the workload, or emotional weight, it’s having the time to fill these roles, fill them well, and to be well while filling them. Counseling has not only accomplished these things but has led me into the counseling field so I may better accomplish these things, while helping others do the same. Both change and time are constant, but only time can be lost. Time is not found, but made, and we make time for things based on our priorities, values, and willingness to change. The only way to overcome challenges is to successfully prioritize our values and be willing to change amid our circumstances and pursuits for time with those we love.

As many High Schoolers do, I pursued College after graduation, but unlike many Graduates, I chose to pursue education in another Country. At 17, I moved across the Canadian border - I knew life would be different, but I had no idea how different. I attended a Bible College in Surrey where God spent 4-years shaping and training me for Pastoral Leadership. Unfortunately, despite all He was doing, my eyes were on the world, and I chose to live for myself. My days of ministry and preaching, often ended with nights barhopping and ‘woman-chasing.’ After numerous broken relationships, I threw away what little I hadn’t already for a full-fledged run into sin. It didn't take long for me to date a non-believer, drink our money away, and get into trouble with the school board. In addition to my rampant lifestyle, my Girlfriend and I got pregnant, and our Son was born the December before I was set to graduate. Shortly after his birth, my drinking caught up to me, causing Cardiac Arrest and emergency Heart surgery. My decisions were not only killing me, they were killing my education as they violated the School’s Ethical Code, making me eligible for suspension. As an American Citizen, suspension from a Canadian College meant exile from the Country - and from my newborn Son. The Dean of my program (with the Grace of God), advocated for me, allowing me to finish my Degree on Probation. Shortly after Graduation, the Mother of my Son left, took our newborn, accused me of criminal charges and psychiatric instability, and kicked me out of the country. I moved out of Canada with nothing but my couch and College Degree. You may be thinking; what does this have to do with continuing education? The answer… everything, but what happened next is what truly mattered. These obstacles came from my own decisions, but they were still obstacles to achieving the Degree and calling I believed God had for me. I lost everything, hit rock bottom, and moved to a new town where I mourned, and where God began rebuilding. After my battle with alcohol, I finally found complete surrender and room to heal through the Lord’s counsel. Early in the healing process, God called me into Counseling - not only for my own healing, but to become a 'wounded healer' for others who had lost their everything. I was working at a Children’s Choir at the time and was expected to lose my job due to Covid, when a friend offered me a chance to work with him at a Substance Use Rehabilitation Facility for Men battling addiction. I jumped right in. Shortly after that opportunity began, God clarified His call to counseling by developing gifts within me, bringing mentors around me, and causing me to fall in love with the work I did with these broken Men. No, it wasn't Substance Use, but Mental Health - the root behind the disease of addiction. I was scared of failing again, scared I wasted my Canadian education, and scared I wouldn't be able to accomplish the task mentally, emotionally, or financially. I had taken 2 years off from school and had no desire to go back, but God made a way, and I jumped in. That was 2 years ago. I'm now halfway through my Master's Degree and I'm not looking back. There are two reasons I will forever continue to push forward; the faithfulness of God, and the gift of providing counsel to broken Men because it is exactly what God did for me at my rock bottom.

My first job after college was at a non-profit organization that provided educational opportunities for Children in Africa that grow up in war torn, impoverished countries, with little to no hope of making it to middle adulthood. The heart of this organization is to provide quality education to children throughout Africa, empowering them to become change makers in their communities through the transformative power of music. The mission and goal of this organization grabbed me before I finished reading the job posting. Through the tumultuous events that followed Covid-19's arrival to the Western US, my position at this organization was deemed 'no longer needed' and I was let go. Through a series of events, God orchestrated a plan in which I began working in Substance Abuse Recovery. In my occupation change, there was one golden thread that tied the seemingly opposite fields together; many of the men I now worked with could trace their brokenness back to their war torn, impoverished childhoods. All of them had been abused and neglected in some form, and as they grew up without opportunity for healing, their lives had taken the ultimate toll. Frederick Douglas is quoted as saying, "it is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men." In this field change, I found Douglas' words to ring ever true in my mind. I had gone from working with children who needed opportunities to change and heal, to working with the men who never received those opportunities. This spurred my life and calling into Mental Health, as I am currently pursuing a Master's in Mental Health Counseling and continuing to work in the Substance Use field. Once I complete this degree, I will become a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, opening many doors for me to serve, protect, and advocate for children who have been abused, or are at risk for abuse. In addition to this education, I've been given a unique position at my organization's Pregnant and Parenting Women's program - a 6-month inpatient program in which many of the women recovering from substances have their children living with them. Many of the mothers have experienced abuse and neglect in their past, and even more of the children have been abused or neglected. It is with this joining of education, experience, and opportunity that I find my niche or responsibility. The American Counseling Association Code of Ethics (2014) explains that as a Counselor, I am both required to serve my clients by seeking what is the best for their well-being as well as prevent further harm – healing of past and prevention from future damage. My plan, therefore, is three-pronged; to provide ethical and competent counseling services to men, women, and children who have experienced abuse so they may receive the healing they need, to educate and empower those who have experienced abuse so they may use their voices to create and sustain powerful change in their community, and to advocate for children of all ages who have been abused or are at risk for abuse so the cycle of abuse will come to an end. This change and work will occur at the community, county, and state levels in the realms of politics, religion, family, and emergency services. All this effort will be founded on relationship building, education and resource connection, and individual empowerment as I seek to change laws and legal policies, increase community knowledge and involvement, and build up Church support and familial structure for the betterment and protection of our children.

One practical solution for helping more people who struggle with mental health is resources and awareness. This may sound like two solutions, but in reality they cannot be separated. This solution sounds somewhat simple, but consider, how would someone know if their pressing struggles are related to their mental health if they are not aware of mental health concepts and issues? Furthermore, how would someone then know how to bring growth, strength, and healing to their mental health if they are not aware of mental health concepts, practices, and resources? People in need of help need to know first the help the help they need, the presenting issue or struggle, and second, where to be receive help from. Concerning physical afflictions, if one is not aware of what the root of the issue is, but only the symptoms, they will not know where to go to be treated nor will they know what treatment is needed. Likewise is the case in the mental health field, if people are not made aware of what their presenting struggles could be symptoms of, they would not know the full truth of the issue they are struggling with in the first place. Furthermore, if resources of knowledge and treatment are not shared and made known within unreached communities, those suffering continue to suffer without knowing the issue and without any opportunity to receive help. To put it simply, awareness, that is both knowledge of mental health and treatment opportunities, as well as resources for both knowledge and treatment opportunities, offered to unreached communities is the solution for helping more people who struggle with mental health. Those suffering need to know the nature of their suffering as well as the sources of treatment, and both must be accessible in order to make any difference.

"Why not you?" The wisest thing I have ever word was my grandfather challenging me with the simple, three word question, "why not you?" My grandfather spoke this simple question over lunch. He had taken me out to my favourite restaurant, shortly after I graduated High School, and after our numerous bad jokes and hard laughs he paused and asked me "How do you really feel about going off to College?" After a long pause, I told him how scared I was - I wasn't sure I could move to another country and live on my own for 4 years, never mind graduate. After I poured out my heart over my Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs, my grandfather sat back in the booth, took a deep breath, and looked at me. After a few silent moments he smiled at me and said "why not you?" He continued with questions about the school, the program, the graduates, myself, my grades, my abilities, and my calling, but ultimately it kept coming back to that same question; why not you? What makes you so different that you can't do it? One common-law definition of wisdom is 'knowledge applied,' and this statement required both knowledge and its proper application to carry any weight of wisdom. My grandfather knew how I was feeling, and what I needed to hear, long before he asked me the initial question. He knew how I doubted myself, that I was scared of failing more than going away, and he knew I didn't need to be comforted, but challenged to rise to the occasion and fulfill my potential. 7 years later I received that degree, am pursuing a Masters, am married with beautiful son, and often think back to that lunch conversation, especially in the face of adversity. Knowledge applied.

To Love, Honor, and Glorify God in action, word, and heart!

I've lost a number of close family members in my life, but none closer than the loss of my father in 2013. I had just turned 16 and my dad was just beginning to teach me how to drive. One night, in mid-august, I drove us home from a family barbecue and we started discussing my future, my goals and aspirations; college, career, family, etc. I had no clue what I wanted to do, never mind how to do it, and I blew up. A helpful conversation turned into a fight, a fight into a tense silence. We got home, said goodnight, and I left the next morning to head back to my mom's house. Little did I know, that would be the last time I would see my father alive. A week or so later, I got a phone call from my grandmother, then from my mom, then my sister, all in quick succession and all asking if I had heard from my dad. Of course not, so I gave him a call, straight to voicemail. 'Thats unlike him' I thought. I brushed it off and within the hour I received a call from my mom, my sister had gone over to his house, saw his car and the driveway, and after not receiving a response to the doorbell, she called the police. A King County Sheriff and Paramedic came to the scene and had my sister wait outside, it seemed they knew what was going on before we did. My mother couldn't say anymore, she could barely speak, but managed to say "your father is no longer with us." He was only 50. My dad was my best friend, my number one supporter, my mentor, and my hero all in one. Many people say those kind words about a lost loved one, but without my dad I was truly lost and alone. I could spend pages discussing the pain, heartache, and years of recovery it took before I truly overcame my father's death. Somehow, I held it together and led the memorial services, being a support for my family seemed to help me, but it took time before I received any form of healing. It was through leading these memorial services that I received the answers to all my dad's questions on our final night together. Through loving and supporting people who are broken and hurting I found the place I was called to be. God had spoken over my life, so clearly, 'Pastor.' So I pursued a biblically education, even leaving the country to be equipped, but as I experienced more of life I realized even more so the things I was missing. There was so much I didn't know how to do; fix a car, talk to a girl, be a husband/ father. A statement I found myself consistently running into was 'I don't know how, no one ever showed me - my dad never had the chance.' I had all but accepted I would be a failure. It wasn't until I met with one of my dad's former coworkers, nearly 4 years after his passing, that I received the motivation to pursue my calling, and my life. Doyle, my father's coworker and long time friend, shared that my dad had come up with a number of innovative tools and machines within their field. So much so, my father had articles written about him and published in the Boeing journal, even though he wasn't an employee there. To top it off, my father had a semester of college education under his belt, and a distant father of his own. My father had much less to start with then he had given to me and yet he had done so many great things before he passed. It was in this moment, and these memories, that I found the motivation to pull through. It does not matter who you are, where you're from, or what you've experienced. Pursuit of a dream, a calling, a career, or a family, is not stunted by your past. The simple presence of obstacles does not mean that you cannot or do not get to achieve your goals - it simply means your story of overcoming such obstacles in a pursuit of victory is that much sweeter. I could allow the death of my father to destroy the dreams I had, or I could allow God to use them to lead me to a calling, knowing that even a terrible event like death can be used for His Glory. Within 3 days I had gone from fighting my father to praying over him in a body bag - life is precious and you don't know when it will end, so pursue what is before you relentlessly and without excuse.

Someone I admire from history is Martin Luther. Not Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., but theologian of the reformation Martin Luther, the man who, facing many critics, walked up to the Catholic Church with a list of all they were doing wrong in hand, and nailed it on their front door. If that isn't bold, I don't know what it is. Aside from some of Martin Luther's obvious actions, and great theological mind, views, and statements, it was his character that I truly admire. Luther was a man of integrity and a symbol of justice and truth when he put the 95 theses on the door of the Catholic Church, he was an advocate for the oppressed and 'savior' of hope when he helped smuggle 12 nuns out of an abusive convent, and he was a man of compassion and faith when one of his 6 children, Magdalene, died in his arms. Despite Martin Luther's difficult and challenging life, he remained true to his faith and to the course. His intent was nothing more than to honour and glorify God, stating "I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God." He was vulnerable in his walk as well, sharing that it would be easy to give up on God because of the death of his children, the persecution he received from the Church, and numerous other trials he faced, but that "reason is the enemy of faith" and thus faith calls us to do unreasonable things at times. Martin Luther was a man of integrity, truth, and hope. He faced trial, tribulation, and persecution, yet stayed fast to his calling, his family, and his God.

The most helpful piece of financial advice I ever received was to invest young, sacrifice a little now to sacrifice less in the future. Everyone knows the importance of starting a project early, especially one that is long term, or in the case of investing, is life long. Too often, people wait to invest until they have a stable financial situation and are willing to live on less than their income. This isn't a terrible decision, but imagine getting into this position with nothing put away versus beginning this decision when you've already been putting a few dollars here or there into investing. Sacrificing a little now means the teenage with their first job doesn't go buy a soda or candy bar at the convenience store next to school, but instead they decide to put it in a bank account that accrues interest. Over this teen's 4 years of high school (and assuming 2 or 3 of those years they work part time), the teenager may have missed out on a hundred stops to the nearby gas station, but they now have both the principle and the accrued interest that others do not. This (even small sacrifice) requires sacrifice and discipline, but eventually leads to financial freedom and flexibility, as well as a larger investment principle, saving this teenager from larger sacrifice or debt in the future when money is more important or relevant. I say this out of personal experience, not just receiving this advice, but using it. I was blessed to get my first job at 15, and with no expenses I saved up for 2 years before buying my first car in cash. It may have been nearly 15 years old, but it was mine and I didn't owe a dime once I drove it home.

One practical solution for helping people with their struggle concerning their mental health is opportunity. Yes, education and awareness is key to the solution, but they are exponentially more effective when partnered with an opportunity. Too many people are unable to take advantage of the mental health resources offered to others due to lack of knowledge, finances, time, availability, current circumstances, etc. The mission is to provide knowledge, resources, and tools to those most undertreated in terms of mental and emotional health in order to provide hope, growth, and transformation. By reaching out to the outsiders and the underserved members of our society, and sacrificially giving to those in need, we will see an impact in the world of mental health. Beyond that, the world of each individual that receives the help they need, and the world we all live in and see will be changed as those who have experienced brokenness and pain will be made whole and then can in turn pour out to those who are still in need. Reaching out to communities, cultures, and people groups who are underserved, underprivileged, and/ or undereducated in order to provide them realistic, flexible, and attainable options (coupled with education) is the key to seeing an improvement in the mental health of the world and its people. There are many other steps that would further benefit this endeavour, such as; educating professionals in the field, flooding the field with more professionals, or investing financially into resources and organizations, but simply reaching those who have not been reached yet is vital to their success, and ours.

The biggest problem facing the world today is ourselves. It goes beyond the pandemic, beyond fear, beyond individualism. Not only is the world self-centered, but it is self-concerned and self-focused. More than being "selfish," we live in a world that does not consider others; the outsider, the foreigner, the coworker. Too often we make decisions based on how it impacts us and us alone - speeding to be on time to an appointment, looking away from the homeless so we don't feel guilty when we don't do anything for them, or not wearing a mask because it 'impedes our freedom' - vaccinated or not. Our problem of self is exemplified in numerous ways, but the biggest is in the form of connection, or lack thereof. Social media presents the illusion that we are connected and involved in the lives of others, and with ease, but simultaneously allows us to remain distant and alone. Division or separation from community leads to a number of other issues, but what is the solution? The solution is far more than 'get out and meet people,' but that is a great first step. We must be willing to invest in relationships with others, understand the culture and circumstances that make them who they are, and build community with them. The biggest way to work on this issue of self is to focus on others, which means you must know, and get to know the people around you in order to do. When we get outside of ourselves and truly 'love our neighbor' our voting decisions, daily actions, inner desires, and even unconscious thoughts become concerned with the betterment of the world around us and those who make it up, instead of our world and whether or not it benefits us.

After I complete my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling I plan to receive my LPC from the state of Washington. Once I have fulfilled the requirements to do so, I will pursue a Doctorate in a similar field, eventually apply for a business license. and begin a counseling based NPO that serves the underprivileged. Too many people are unable to take advantage of the mental health resources offered to others due to lack of knowledge or finances, time, availability, current circumstances, etc. The mission is to provide knowledge, resources, and tools to those most undertreated in terms of mental and emotional health in order to provide hope, growth, and transformation. By reaching out to the outsiders and underserved members of our society, and sacrificially giving to those in need, I will not only impact the world around me, and the world of each individual that receives the help they need, but we will all see the world changed as those who have experienced brokenness and pain will be made whole and can in turn pour out to those who are still in need.