Being a woman of color suffering with mental health issues is not an easy feat by any means. Watching everyone live a life of normalcy and feeling like an outsider in my own life was heartbreaking. I didn't grow up knowing I suffered from Manic Depression, I grew up thinking I was a freak, I had no friends. I was alone. I grew up seeking acceptance and doing things to try to make people like me. I always thought that I needed to be a particular way to be accepted by my peers. I just always knew I was different from the other kids. I would look at all of the friendship groups forming around me and wished that one day I had at least one friend, or would even be able to make friends… I think about the times I would be left out and forgotten from games, groups and activities at school. I would hold my tears in until I got home, and pretended I wanted to leave anyway. I remember hearing about the parties and girls' nights everyone else would get invited to while I sat at home pretending I didnt care and my mom would try her hardest to make me feel like I wasn't missing out. But what she didn't know was how aware I was of this situation, I knew I wasn't liked, I knew I was the last person anyone would want to invite to their party… But what I didn't know was WHY? I guess what I'm getting at is, growing up undiagnosed with Bipolar left me fearing rejection, fearing disappointing others, fearing developing friendships/relationships and fearing losing someone close to me. I have a fear that I’ll be alone forever, that I'm cursed and I have to carry on living a life of loneliness and anxiety. But being diagnosed has helped me realise that it isn't all up to me, I understand that I have to take responsibility for my actions and my behavior, but in reality I am not my diagnosis, Im SYDNEY, I should be given a chance, so should everyone with any disability or disorder, we aren't bad people, or bad students, we are extremely misunderstood people who deserve the chance to show our capabilities and show how amazing we truly are.

My whole life I have been different from everyone else. I have never been the type to follow a strict set of orders or enjoy following the same path as others. I love creating new things and making others happy, but I do not truly aspire to become a healthcare specialist. I want to do my own thing and be able to manage my own money. I am passionate about entrepreneurship because of the many avenues you can take your business, the flexibility of being able to manage your own money and more. My mother is an entrepreneur. She has her LLC, and owns her own hospital. She is one of the many reasons I am inspired to become an entrepreneur because she is truly fearless and will take risks when it comes to her business because she believes while business may have many risks, it is worth it because you are doing something that you love. I love the idea of being able to be flexible and express myself without having to be criticized about my work or designs. To me, thats the best part about entrepreneurship.

https://youtu.be/Z9xcnOCTLcs

The time I recently showed up for an individual was when I was there for my aunt when she transitioned to be with God. That time was very challenging for me because my aunt was like a mother to me. She was at all of my softball games, gave me advice even when I couldn't come to my mom, and gave me love when I did not feel other people could give it to me. This has impacted me forever because seeing her my whole life and then not being able to see her ever will be something I need to adjust to. My aunt was a sassy woman, with a lot of wit and humor. You never knew what would come out of her mouth, and whatever did would make you laugh, or might make you angry. But she didn't care because she was never one to spare someone's feelings. There were times when she would give me advice, and times when she would just be there to listen. Many people in my family don't take a liking to me because I am not "normal". I don't do normal things, I watch cartoons, play Roblox and all in all I am just a nerd. But she always saw past my quirks. She actually embraced them and told me to keep doing what I like because when I go, I shouldn't have any regrets. And she was right. I'm not going to live my whole life worried about who does or doesn't like me, worried about friends doing me wrong. She taught me to live because God doesn't give you unlimited lives. I never was really an extraordinary student, and she knew that. But she told me "If you never even attempt to continue college, you will live with regrets. College is supposed to be the time of your life." Her death impacted me in many ways most don't imagine. She is the reason I am continuing my career in college; the reason I'm doing everything I want to do. My aunt was taken suddenly from this world, and she may not have had a spouse or children. But my sister and I were her family. So, from this point on I have decided to live my life freely and try everything. No more second guessing myself, no more shying away from things because I feel people are going to judge me or they won't embrace me; I'm doing everything I want to do with no regrets.

A quality I value most in myself would be my resiliency and perseverance. My whole life I have been seen as underestimated and average. I began playing sports in middle school just to find out what I was good at, and the only sport that I seemed to be good enough for was softball. Softball gave me the outlet I needed to feel like I belonged... like I was ENOUGH. I began aspiring to play college ball my 8th grade year. I was and still am very determined to continue my academic and athletic career at a D1 University and will make it happen. I am determined and committed to completing this goal in my life. I never gave myself the opportunity to dream because any coach I shared my dreams with, they shot me down, told me I wouldn't make it to play even high school ball. I proved them wrong. Now my plans are to be a walk on at Clemson University. I'm going to prove everyone that underestimated me feel my power. I have always been average in school. Never made straight As, never felt confident in school and was always just barely making it. After years of being trapped in a school system that didn't think of students as nothing but a number and unsupportive staff members, I had no choice but to transfer High Schools. I am now at a school that the system actually cares for their students. Where failing isn't an option. Everyone at my school is a family, and I love being a Lady Giant. I know how powerful I am. I can do anything I set my mind to. I am determined to prove everyone who doubted me wrong. During the offseason I will be committing myself to my craft. No more slacking or making excuses, no more doubting myself or marginalizing myself. I WILL be playing in the ACC and I will prove the statistics wrong and be a part of that 2 percent. I WILL defy all odds, that's what I was meant to do. Being that I will be walking on, I have to financially support my way through college. My parents do not have the money to pay for my education, and I would never put that large of a burden on them. I want to go to Clemson to earn my degree and I WILL go to Clemson.

Ever since I have been born I have always come second, or after someone else. I have never been anyones first choice. Ever since I began school, I have gotten picked on for being “too fat” “too annoying” “too ugly” “too dumb.” During recess, I was last pick for any game, to be anyones partner, or even when it came to determining loyalty, I was always everyones last choice. When I was in middle school, I was a short, stubby, chunky 12 year old. Very awkward, with little to no ACTUAL friends. My sister had been wanting to play tee ball for years and she finally begged and bothered my dad enough to let her tryout for rec ball. Day of the tryout, I put on my clothes, and went to the rec ball tryout with all intents of supporting my sister. Little did I know that day, I would be trying out as well. Life as I knew it that day would change my life forever. When I began playing fastpitch softball my dream always was to play D1 softball. I told my parents I was going to do it. Coached that I had shared my dream with told me I didn't even have a chance to play high school softball, let alone college. And in that moment I knew I could not fail. These people doubting me fueled my fire. I have been told I need to be on an elite team, spend $2500 a year to showcase, and spend my high school off season going to camps. My family just couldn't and still cant afford that. Im not on an elite team, and I don't have the money to come to camps. But I have the heart and passion to play this sport and continue my education at a good school. Since I cant get recruited the way all of these other girls do, Im going to walk on, and be so good the coaches cant ignore me. I have dedicated my senior year to develop my skills, and show these coaches that I belong here. This is my dream and if I have to stick my neck out I will. I cant know that I wasn’t made for college ball if I never tried. For some people sports comes naturally, like they were made to play sports and I wasnt. Sometimes it feels like I have to suffer for everything I want, and maybe me playing sports isnt in Gods Plan. I know I am a diamond in the rough and I WILL be an All- American softball player. I have faith in me and thats all that matters. I believe if I work hard and do everything Im supposed to everything will turn out for the best. To all the overlooked and underestimated, TRUST YOUR POWER.

There's nothing wrong with you, you're just seeking attention.” “How can you forget what I JUST told you?” “Do you even think?” “Focus!” “Were you even paying attention?” I do think, actually, way too much. I spend so much time distracted on extraneous things that I don't even remember what I was just thinking or writing about. I don't have to be talkative or hyper to have ADHD. ADHD is more than being hyper or being a distraction in class. ADHD is being stuck internally, ADHD is forgetting what I was talking about mid-sentence. I have struggled for years--feeling stuck, misunderstood, oversharing, turning in assignments late because I simply just can't get it done. While I know grades are important, those with learning disabilities struggle. A simple assignment may take 30 minutes for the average student, but for me it may take hours. I have spent so much time wondering what was wrong with me, and why I wasn't an exceptional student like my peers, and it wasn't because I'm not smart, it's because I lacked focus. I have tried mindfulness therapy, regular talk therapy, changing diet, changing my sleep schedule, but nothing works. Being a person of color with a learning disability is seen as “embarrassing” or “bad,” and often goes untreated. Studies show doctors that are not people of color tend to think that people of color are “over exaggerating” symptoms, which is often untrue. This disability is confining. I repeatedly find myself losing what I had five minutes ago, not being able to complete TV shows, forgetting my short passwords, drifting off during important conversations, oversharing about very personal issues and being unable to wait in line because people aren't moving fast enough. I am constantly stuck, often feeling like I am falling behind my peers In spite of the fact that these issues are still ongoing challenges that I struggle with, I actively advocate for myself to my teachers and if allowed, get extra time for testing, and ask for additional help. Coping is not easy, but I make the effort everyday. I am more than a disability, than a symptom, or a diagnosis. My dream is to continue my education, no matter the limitation. I want to inspire others to push themselves. I want to prove to kids with ADHD that they are not a statistic, yes they can do the work, and no they will not forget to submit their essays.

There's nothing wrong with you, you're just seeking attention.” “How can you forget what I JUST told you?” “Do you even think?” “Focus!” “Were you even paying attention?” I do think, actually, way too much. I spend so much time distracted on extraneous things that I don't even remember what I was just thinking or writing about. I don't have to be talkative or hyper to have ADHD. ADHD is more than being hyper or being a distraction in class. ADHD is being stuck internally, ADHD is forgetting what I was talking about mid-sentence. I have struggled for years--feeling stuck, misunderstood, oversharing, turning in assignments late because I simply just can't get it done. While I know grades are important, those with learning disabilities struggle. A simple assignment may take 30 minutes for the average student, but for me it may take hours. I have spent so much time wondering what was wrong with me, and why I wasn't an exceptional student like my peers, and it wasn't because I'm not smart, it's because I lacked focus. I have tried mindfulness therapy, regular talk therapy, changing diet, changing my sleep schedule, but nothing works. Being a person of color with a learning disability is seen as “embarrassing” or “bad,” and often goes untreated. Studies show doctors that are not people of color tend to think that people of color are “over exaggerating” symptoms, which is often untrue. This disability is confining. I repeatedly find myself losing what I had five minutes ago, not being able to complete TV shows, forgetting my short passwords, drifting off during important conversations, oversharing about very personal issues and being unable to wait in line because people aren't moving fast enough. I am constantly stuck, feeling as though I am moving in slow motion. In spite of the fact that these issues are still ongoing challenges that I struggle with, I actively advocate for myself to my teachers and if allowed, get extra time for testing, and ask for additional help. Coping is not easy, but I make the effort everyday. I am more than a disability, than a symptom, or a diagnosis. My dream is to continue my education, no matter the limitation. I want to inspire others to push themselves. I want to prove to kids with ADHD that they are not a statistic, yes they can do the work, and no they will not forget to submit their essays.

I dont often practice self-care. Being a student- athlete has hindered me from being able to honestly take care of myself physically and mentally. Oftentimes I just tell myself "oh, Ill do that tomorrow" or put it off for another day because I am so busy with practice, games and working 2 jobs. More times than none, I have had to deal with adversity in my sport. From going through hitting slumps, to not defensively protecting my position, to not living up to my fathers expectations have taken a toll on my mental health, and I dont take care of my mental health enough to feel confident. When I am able to practice self-care though, I try to write down affirmations, then repeat them to my mirror. Or I clean my room, then sage it to rid any bad thoughts that had corrupted me for the past couple weeks. I like to do my hair also just to give me a renewed sense of confidence. People often anticipate athletes to not battle with their mental and physical health, even though we are the ones who struggle the most. We have to listen to coaches giving us critiques to get better as athletes, fans who dont think we are producing enough, and even your family that is relying on you to do well to not embarass them. Society needs to start caring for their athletes, and stop judging them when they need to put their mental health first. Athletes should not have to worry about being judged for wanting to care for themselves. Starting today, I will start putting myself first, making sure I am okay and not worry about others opinions about my game. I love the game, trust me I do, but starting now, I will put me first.

Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. Friendship is a devoted relationship between two individuals. They both feel immense care and love for each other. Usually, a friendship is shared by two people who have similar interests and feelings. You meet many along the way of life but only some stay with you forever. Those are your real friends who stay by your side through thick and thin. Friendship is the most beautiful gift you can present to anyone. You learn to love someone other than your family. Friendship never leaves us in bad times. You learn how to understand people and trust others. Your real friends will always motivate you and cheer for you. They will take you on the right path and save you from any evil. Similarly, friendship also teaches you a lot about loyalty. It helps us to become loyal and get loyalty in return. There is no greater feeling in the world than having a friend who is loyal to you. There are essentially two types of friends, one is good friends the other are true friends or best friends. They’re the ones with whom we have a special bond of love and affection. In other words, having a true friend makes our lives easier and full of happiness. Most importantly, true friendship stands for a relationship free of any judgments. In short, true friendship is what gives us reason to stay strong in life. Having a loving family and all is okay but you also need true friendship to be completely happy. Some people don’t even have families but they have friends who’re like their family only. Thus, we see having true friends means a lot to everyone.