One of the main factors that has directed me to a career in the mental health field to be a trauma therapist is one of my major childhood traumas. At age six, I lost my father to suicide. His family never addressed mental health, and I believe that's a significant contributor to why he never got help for his depression. He also went through childhood trauma; his oldest brother died by suicide. I know that event affected him deeply, and his only path of coping was self-medicating with alcohol. The other contributor that solidified my passion for being a therapist was experiencing verbal and emotional abuse from my mother. All of those traumas and struggles I dealt with throughout my youth, teenage years, and early adulthood provided experience and wisdom to live with trauma and grief. In therapy, I have learned coping skills and ways to manage my episodes, and I still discover new ways to cope in the present because I still have grief and unresolved trauma that I am working on healing. Everyone's healing journey is different because healing isn't linear, and there is no time limit to healing oneself. I have come to understand this because my healing journey is still happening now. My father's death impacted my mental health a lot as a child. At age ten I comprehended the way he died, and that truth hurt me so much, and the pain I went through led me to attempt suicide after I learned the truth. My mom immediately found me a therapist and a psychiatrist to address my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder as a child and I tried many different antidepressants because they never helped my symptoms. I researched mental illness online as a teen and learned about Bipolar Disorder, and the symptoms matched what I was going through. I would constantly bring it up with my psychiatrist, but he didn't listen to me and always told me I had MDD. My mental health became so difficult for me to the point of having extreme suicidal ideations. In 10th grade, I attempted suicide two separate times and was under a 72-hour hold for both incidents. It was only two years ago after I found a great psychiatrist that I was properly diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder and now am properly medicated. I am still in therapy because I am still healing my wounds, learning how to cope with my episodes, and still healing the grief about my father's death. Despite my struggles, I continued my education after high school, earned my associate's and bachelor's degrees, and now am on the path to earning my master's degree at Pepperdine University. The degree I'm pursuing has a focus on clinical psychology, and it is my dream to become a clinical trauma therapist so I can guide children, adolescents, and young adults through my therapy to heal their trauma, specifically guiding them through their healing journey due to the loss of a close one to suicide. I personally understand what it's like to go through that loss and I believe it has given me the knowledge and experience to give the best help I can offer to my future patients. All of the struggles, especially the incidents where I have attempted suicide myself, solidified the career path I have chosen to pursue. I have tried to always be open and discuss suicide with others and discuss it on social media because it's a topic that should be talked about so people can know how to help others who may be dealing with suicidal ideation or thoughts. It's always important to check in with a friend or family member who has a mental illness because they could be hiding their true symptoms from everyone. I believe suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation, and it's also a symptom of depression. I also believe that depression and MDD can kill people because suicide becomes an option for them to escape their pain. In my experience, I thought that it was the only way to end my pain, but I am blessed that I am alive and now have the knowledge about what that's like to deal with. I try to remind those who don't try to understand mental illness or discuss it by explaining that our brain is an organ and can become sick, just like any other organ in our bodies. If one of our organs develops an illness, we treat it, so mental illnesses should be looked at in the same way. I see that mental health discussions are happening more now than they have been in the past, but I try to continue the discussions because it isn't something to be ashamed of. I am also open about living with grief and try to start a discussion about it because it's a topic that isn't always addressed. Losing someone to suicide is a very hard reality to live with because their death was a choice, and the grief that comes with it can impact one in so many ways. I am still grieving and learning how to live with my own grief. It has been a very hard process, but I continue to do the work because, again, living through this and learning the way to live with it gives me experience and knowledge regarding how I will be able to help my future patients with their healing journey. I have known that the rates of suicides in the U.S. have increased during and after the pandemic lockdown. Living through the lockdown was a type of trauma that we all had to learn to deal with. The isolation affected many people in many ways. It even affected me due to the lack of socialization with my friends and my grandparents. It affected my mental health negatively because I always had time to spend with them, and it's very important for me to have that time with my loved ones. The pandemic also affected me mentally as well. I experienced a very deep, difficult depression because my home life was becoming toxic. My mother lost her job and couldn't find another one, as many people also experienced. Our relationship worsened, and I was treated poorly again; I had to deal with verbal abuse similar to what I went through as a child and teenager. Thankfully I was able to move into my boyfriend's house and live with him. To be completely candid, moving out of her house is what saved me from my suicidal ideations and thoughts. My experience during the pandemic worsened my mental health as it did for many others, and many tried to seek mental health help during that time. After experiencing the collective trauma from the pandemic, I also understood that there was an increased need for therapy. As I said before, the lockdown affected everyone in many ways, and it especially impacted the rates of suicide. I began my online master's program in the summer of 2021 and knew that one day I would help the younger generations who were impacted negatively by the pandemic and may have developed PTSD or other mental illnesses. The reality is that there is an increased need for mental health providers presently because collectively as a society, many were impacted in some way. The lockdown even changed the way therapy sessions are conducted; nowadays, sessions are usually telehealth and done through video calls. Even today well after the lockdown, my therapy sessions are video calls. My opinion is that I think telehealth therapy sessions can be helpful, but it's not as authentic as they used to be when we had in-person sessions. The world has changed, though, and now telehealth is slowly becoming a norm in society. Going to a doctor's appointment is even done through phone calls or video calls. Jobs have also been impacted and remote work is more acceptable nowadays than going into the office. The pandemic changed society in many ways, which in turn affected people's mental health and created other struggles that we are still dealing with in the present. I am very passionate about having my license as an MFT, and I plan on guiding individuals through their grief and healing journey. Specifically becoming a trauma therapist will allow me to guide those who have experienced the suicide of a loved one, and I will truly understand their situation because I experienced it and am still healing. I plan on working at a community mental health center because I want to give back to my community and help populations that have a harder time accessing resources and the support they need. In my heart, I deeply believe that I will be able to give back and help individuals as a trauma therapist. It's my one true passion to have this career in the mental health field.

My true passion in this life is to become a trauma therapist and help guide individuals in their healing journey. I have personally experienced a major trauma in my childhood that directed me toward this career. At six years old, I lost my father to suicide. At age 10 I understood what mental illnesses can do to a person. I began to have depression symptoms at age 10 because of the knowledge of what mental illness was and also because that was the age when I learned how my father passed away. My struggles when I was 10 led to my first suicide attempt at 10 years old. My mom immediately got me a therapist and a psychiatrist, and I was misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. It was only two years ago when I found my current psychiatrist that I was properly diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder. I knew when I was younger that I had Bipolar Disorder because the antidepressants never worked. I would tell my psychiatrist that this wasn't MDD, but they never listened. The experience of being misdiagnosed gives me an understanding of what that's like to go through. I also know losing my father to suicide, as well as coping with my half-sister's substance use disorder and dealing with emotional and verbal abuse from my mom adds to my knowledge of dealing with mental illness and traumas. Therapy has helped me learn how to cope, and I still go to therapy and continue to learn how to heal myself; I am not afraid to be completely candid that I'm still in therapy. Healing isn't linear and everyone's journey is different and the time it takes to heal is different for everyone. I learned what my passion was in my teen years. I continued my education right after I graduated high school, and during my time in undergraduate school, I took all the psychology courses I could. This, in turn, made me truly understand that my passion was to be a therapist. Taking all of those psychology courses in undergraduate school also made me think about my past traumas, especially my father's suicide. I believe if he chose to seek therapy, he could've learned how to cope with his mental illness and he could still be here today. As an adult, I learned that my father's parents did not address mental health. My father also experienced childhood trauma; his older brother died by suicide as well. I believe because his parents didn't address mental health, my father didn't think that therapy was an option to help himself. He unfortunately turned to self-medicating with alcohol. My half-sister also chose to self-medicate with drugs to cope with her parent's divorce. Those experiences will help me be the best therapist I can be because I can relate to those who have gone through similar experiences. I will earn my master's degree next year, and I will eventually get my MFT license. If I were to get this scholarship, it would go towards my tuition and supplies. I believe I deserve this scholarship because I want to be a trauma therapist to help those who have experienced the suicide of a family member or a friend in their life. I have always tried to discuss suicide to bring awareness to the trauma it creates. I believe my own experience is also a reason I deserve this scholarship because I know what it's like to live with grief and mental illness, along with my suicide attempts. I'm on my healing journey, but I know I can guide others too with their journey.

My father died by suicide when I was six years old in 2001. He struggled with Major Depression Disorder and self-medicated with alcohol. His death impacted me deeply. I started showing symptoms of mental health struggles at age 10. My mom found a therapist for me to see and even a psychiatrist so I could get on medication to help my symptoms. They misdiagnosed me with Major Depression Disorder as a child. I tried many antidepressants that didn't help. I consistently believed I had Bipolar Disorder after researching it as a teen, though I was never listened to by my doctors. When I turned 18, I stopped taking the antidepressants and stayed in therapy to continue healing my trauma and grief. In 2021, I got a new psychiatrist who diagnosed me appropriately with Bipolar II Disorder, and am finally treating my illness correctly. Experiencing the trauma of my father's suicide impacted my mental health and well-being at a young age. I started to struggle with symptoms of depression, and at ten years old, I attempted suicide. That's when I began my healing journey with therapists. I still struggled a lot with my mental health as I entered high school, and I attempted suicide twice and had two 72-hour holds. The main factor that pushed me in the direction of studying psychology was my father's suicide and my struggles with my mental illness. I believe if my father chose to go to therapy, he would've been able to continue life. His death made me understand that depression is a mental illness and suicide can be a symptom of this illness. His death and my attempts made me realize my passion is to help others heal their trauma. As I began to work on myself in therapy in my early 20s and continued my education at Los Angeles Pierce College to get an associate's degree, I realized I had a strong interest in psychology. I took all the psychology courses I could and earned my associate's degree in social and behavioral sciences at that college. I then continued my education and went to California State University Northridge and earned my bachelor's degree of arts in psychology right before the COVID pandemic started. After receiving my bachelor's degree, I fully understood the path I wanted to take for my career. I will be a therapist who will help children, adolescents, and young adults with a history of trauma. Experiencing the childhood trauma of my father's suicide, growing up with a sibling who had a substance use disorder and it affecting my relationships with my immediate family, struggling with mental illness, living with grief, as well as experiencing emotional and verbal abuse from my mother, I know that all of these experiences will aid me in being a good trauma therapist. My passion in life is to guide individuals on their healing journey as an MFT. One day I will get my license and help those in need and I believe I will be helpful because of all that I've experienced. My life has led me toward this career, and as a trauma therapist with a lot of life experience will make me a great therapist one day. I am already on the path to my career and will earn my master's degree in 2024, and then I will embark on my training and start helping individuals. To be able to guide people in their healing journey is my true passion in this life, and with all the life experience in my 28 years of life, I know I can truly help others heal.