I have always been the “chubby kid.” I’ve never been overweight, but I have never had the desired physique that society loves to shove in the world’s face. I have always been very self conscious of my stomach fat and the overall build of my body. It didn’t help that my brother doesn’t have an ounce of fat on his body and my older sister has the picture perfect body I had craved for so long. I also despised working out. Running: terrible. Any form of cardio: terrifying. I could have never imagined finding a form of physical activity that would motivate me to work out. That was until I started dancing. When I started doing competitive dance, I did not consider it a work out, I thought it was fun. Dance also helped me finally understand the reasoning behind my thick thighs and broad shoulders. I, for so long, focused on the fat on my body, that I failed to see the strength I carried in my muscles. I was able to use dance as a beginner’s guide to my fitness journey. I was using the thing I loved as a way to strengthen myself physically and mentally. Over time I learned the habits of my mind and body. I still continue to dance today, but I also have a new routine of working out and eating better. I may not still have that societal picture-perfect body, but I have become healthier and I have more confidence in myself. Not only have I worked on myself, but I have also discovered the importance of support systems. I now know how much easier it is to workout when I surround myself with people working towards my same goal. I now have a big group of friends who all enjoy supporting each other and working out together. We hold each other accountable and we have all grown stronger for it.

I have always been indecisive. It can be a curse when it comes to deciding what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch; but when it comes to learning, the possibilities are endless. I have so many different interests and hobbies because I love to learn new things. I can play the violin. I can sing. I can dance. I can act. I can paint. I play video games. I have played lacrosse, basketball, and cheer. I have occupied my time with such a wide variety of things, that when it came to choosing a major for college, I was overwhelmed and lost. I wanted to be an FBI Agent. I wanted to own my own business. I wanted to sing professionally. I had so many dreams, yet I knew I could only chase one. I decided that in order to get the best of all my worlds, I wanted to study theater. Acting is the one hobby that I have been continuously passionate about throughout my entire life. Yes I was passionate about everything else at one time in my life, but that desire eventually faded with time. Acting, however, has stuck with me through everything. I use acting as an outlet. My voice wavers when I speak in public, but when I am acting, when I am being someone else, my voice does not falter. I gain confidence through theater and being on a stage. I have also come to realize that I can continue to pursue my other passions through theater. I can be an FBI Agent on Criminal Minds. I can be the professional singer who chases her dreams on a stage. By pursuing my dream and my education of theater in college, I am allowing myself to pursue all of my dreams and passions.

“Can I pray over you?” A simple question, seemingly insignificant and overused in religious aspects, but to me, this question saved my life. I grew up in a Christian household. My dad helped run the children’s ministry at our church and my mother was very prevalent in the church’s community. From a young age, my parents made it clear that their biggest goal in life was to make sure my siblings and I lived for God. I did not fight or question their decision to drag us to church every week; in fact, I loved church. I made so many friends, I got “saved” and baptized in sixth grade, and even helped my mom lead children’s worship. The strength I had in my faith made my family so happy, but I did not know a single thing about God. I was depressed, suicidal, ashamed, and overall alone. I could not understand why I felt so isolated even though I was following Jesus. It was not until summer camp in eighth grade that I understood what I was doing wrong. Preacher Dan Lian from Newspring Church was speaking on Tuesday night. He had said he felt called to do something that was a little unusual and proceeded to ask everyone who had been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts to raise their hand. I would never, and I mean NEVER, share that side of me because I had been so ashamed; but, somehow my hand was raised. All my friends were crying and hugging me, but I proceeded to look around the stadium. I made eye contact with a girl probably a couple years older than me and she began walking toward me. She stared at me for a second and she said, “I’m so sorry, and I wouldn’t normally do this, but can I pray over you?” I broke. I finally let go of all those negative, pent up emotions and cried. I had finally realized my mistake. I had been following God because it made my family happy, but not because I wanted to follow him. I decided to rededicate my life and got baptized in the ocean the next morning. Do not get me wrong, I still struggle with those insecurities and sins that used to weigh me down, but now I choose to go to Jesus. His love saved my life and my purpose and I am eternally grateful. I now spend almost every day at church. Prayer everyday at 6am, YoungLife on Mondays, Fuse on Wednesdays, FCA on Thursdays, Church on Sundays, and Fuse group on Sunday nights. I am happy and thriving because I was selfish for once. I chose God over everyone else.

I am a people pleaser, plain and simple; I will exhaust myself and break my back in order to ensure everyone around me is happy. Most teenage boys like to call me a “push-over,” but I say people-pleaser to feel better about myself. This small tidbit about myself is what makes my testimony special. I grew up in a Christian household. My dad helped run the children’s ministry at our church and my mother was very prevalent in the church’s community. From a young age, my parents made it clear that their biggest goal in life was to make sure my siblings and I lived for God. I did not fight or question their decision to drag us to church every week; in fact, I loved church. I made so many friends, I got “saved” and baptized in sixth grade, and even helped my mom lead children’s worship. The strength I had in my faith made my family so happy, but I did not know a single thing about God. I was depressed, suicidal, ashamed, and overall alone. I could not understand why I felt so isolated even though I was following Jesus. It was not until summer camp in eighth grade that I understood what I was doing wrong. Preacher Dan Lian from Newspring Church was speaking on Tuesday night. He had said he felt called to do something that was a little unusual and proceeded to ask everyone who had been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts to raise their hand. I would never, and I mean NEVER, share that side of me because I had been so ashamed; but, somehow my hand was raised. All my friends were crying and hugging me, but I proceeded to look around the stadium. I made eye contact with a girl probably a couple years older than me and she began walking toward me. She stared at me for a second and she said, “I’m so sorry, and I wouldn’t normally do this, but can I pray over you?” I broke. I finally let go of all those negative, pent up emotions and cried. I had finally realized my mistake. I had been following God because it made my family happy, but not because I wanted to follow him. I decided to rededicate my life and got baptized in the ocean the next morning. Do not get me wrong, I still struggle with those insecurities and sins that used to weigh me down, but now I choose to go to Jesus. His love saved my life and my purpose and I am eternally grateful. I now spend almost every day at church. Prayer everyday at 6am, YoungLife on Mondays, Fuse on Wednesdays, FCA on Thursdays, Church on Sundays, and Fuse group on Sunday nights. I am happy and thriving because I was selfish for once. I chose God over everyone else.

Hazel is the most hyper, attention seeking, and lovable boxer my family has ever had. She is always running circles around the house (we call it “the zoomies”) and playing tug of war with one of my family members. She is in constant motion and she never sits still, proving taking pictures with her to be very difficult. Hazel and I wrestled for almost ten minutes before I finally got her to lay down to take these pictures. I love these photos because they capture not only Hazel’s beauty, but the beauty between my siblings and I.

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