For starters, I am someone who has Mental Health issues that run my life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 and early in my teenage years I was facing symptoms of BPD. BPD stands for " Borderline Personality Disorder" which is a mental disorder that affects emotional stability, personality as is and much more that regulates around daily life. This diagnosis is often dismissed in young teens leaving long term mental issues, like me for an example. My family was never the type to " talk about it", well unless it came to certain family members, but for me it seemed like no one cared. I struggled silently, had to lie to therapists so they would leave my family alone-- at least that was all my family cared about. It Got so bad that I almost physically felt my body get ill from the anger and sadness that I felt in abundance. BUt nonetheless, I reached out to get help. Social media didn't make me " self diagnose" but instead, it made me more aware of what I possibly could be facing. I took the initiative to talk to a school counselor I had and she appointed me to external sources to get me help. I loved her for this and I loved that I had a knew way of dealing with my issues. Although this disorder comes with a lot of Cons one of the Biggest pros is my ability to understand people, and be a good emotional support person. Being misunderstood for most of my life made me realize how many other people can and are misunderstood as well. I became a person who would always listen when someone wanted to talk -- because I never had that person for me. I became someone who wasn't afraid to tell my friends that they might need help, and that they can get it, because for the most part I never thought I could get help in my weak parts in my life. I love being the shoulder that some people can cry on or just lay on when they need it. My ideal career is to be a Psychiatric Nurse, To help those who need it. To be a Nurse is to help physically, To be a Psychiatric Nurse is to take care of my patients physically and mentally. I've always wanted to be a help in the world we live in, and with my major I can do it more than one way.

I always wondered why no one saw me suffer , so I helped myself . When growing up I endured a lot of trauma from all sides of my family, physically, mentally and emotionally, however – nobody seemed to realize the complexity of how my mind was adapting to the things they did to me, and how I would now view them.This trauma as well as sadness from early on in life carried on with me for years and years. I was freshly 13 when Coronavirus hit, this took a toll on little teenage me. I was confined to my room surrounded by people who i almost hated, which felt like endless torture for me. Not seeing my friends , also having no motivation to wake up on time to log into zoom took a toll on me for the worst , and my parents doing what they do best – ignored my sadness but were very vocal about the anger that came with it. I was constantly scolded for my attitude (which was due to the resentment i had towards family), was constantly belittled for how dirty my room was ( i was depressed) and not to mention at the age of 13 i was dealing with a loss of a friend who committed suicide, as i was struggling with suicidal thoughts myself. I found myself drowning in anger and sadness for months upon months along with various issues– until I started looking for my own answers. Being at home for hours upon hours means I had enough time in the world to figure out what exactly was wrong with me. I found it. I was facing symptoms of borderline personality disorder – a complex mental disorder that affects my way of reacting ,expressing my emotions, behaviors and pretty much every aspect of my life. WIth this realization and key factor of my new life – It opened up my eyes and changed my perspective on everything . I studied myself , my triggers and how to save myself from the sorrow I was experiencing. While studying I had become aware of other mental illnesses as well and began to realize the internal issues I was facing may have been hereditary. My mom is bipolar while my grandma is a narcissist. After making these connections I began to be more understanding of how they acted– they didn't know any better , they didnt know how to control their anger, and that they just needed help ( like I did )– and so with this outlook on my family I placed it along with the world. Nobody is perfect and we all have things to work on, just like how to my parents i seemed “ disobedient , disrespectful and outraged” when in reality i was just a broken girl , i think of how many angered people i've come across who have had a bad day but are genuinely good people. Reminding myself constantly of who I was before I was aware of my issues keeps me from judging others in their times of weakness. I Believe we are all human and should extend grace to one another because after all. It's all of our first time being alive. Yes , this mental disorder almost eats me alive but it's part of me and my personality (literally) but it also keeps me alive. My disorder alongside my way of thinking helped me help other people and not just myself. I became someone who was an everybody person – im everyones friend and I could talk to anyone for hours. I became a person anybody could come to for anything , because I knew what it felt like to not be heard or listened to. I became someone who understood what it was like to do horrible things out of anger because I too was that person. I became understanding, i became dedicated because i knew that life happens and that i should never give up but to keep pushing through everything instead, – I became the person i am today. My trauma doesn't define me , but helped make me the person I am today. I was suffering and when nobody helped me, I helped myself and that's why I'm still here.

For starters, I am someone who has Mental Health issues that run my life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 8 and early in my teenage years I was facing symptoms of BPD. BPD stands for " Borderline Personality Disorder" which is a mental disorder that affects emotional stability, personality as is and much more that regulates around daily life. This diagnosis is often dismissed in young teens leaving long term mental issues, like me for an example. Although this disorder comes with a lot of Cons one of the Biggest pros is my ability to understand people, and be a good emotional support person. Being misunderstood for most of my life made me realize how many other people can and are misunderstood as well. I became a person who would always listen when someone wanted to talk -- because I never had that person for me. I became someone who wasn't afraid to tell my friends that they might need help, and that they can get it, because for the most part I never thought I could get help in my weak parts in my life. I love being the shoulder that some people can cry on or just lay on when they need it. My ideal career is to be a Psychiatric Nurse, To help those who need it. To be a Nurse is to help physically, To be a Psychiatric Nurse is to take care of my patients physically and mentally. I've always wanted to be a help in the world we live in, and with my major I can do it more than one way.