My Taylor Swift soundtrack song from 1989 would be "Shake it Off" for this year of 2024. As a child of poverty and the only girl in the household, I learned to take on responsibilities like an adult and care for my siblings and myself at a young age. My parents worked two jobs and were not home enough for my brothers and me to feel fully supported. Meanwhile, my role as a child became a mother figure, people pleaser, hyper-vigilant, and righteous young lady. Growing up I had been curious as to what it would be like if I was like the other 7-year-old girl who was having fun, dancing, and jump roping. I would watch TV to live through movie scenes and fantasize about my life being enjoyable and adventurous. I couldn't imagine my reality being adventurous or not caring for anyone. When I turned 29th I got engaged to my perfect boyfriend that my family chose and approved of and my whole life was planned out. I was content with my life and ready to take the next step in my life - marriage. Until a crisis occurred before the wedding and I needed to break up with my now ex-fiance. My family begged me to work it out with him and I couldn't get past the heartbreak and how my spirit was telling me something different. I had the most difficult time accepting the life changes that were occurring. I was fearful, I was anxious, I was lost. I started to look inward and find grace through my pain and learned to care for my heart and figure out what Raquel needed. I was hurt to realize I didn’t have an identity outside of the habits I took on as a child. So I started fresh and decided to do all of the things I wanted to do as a child until I was an adult. Fresh to me looked like traveling outside the country, taking dance classes, attending school for another degree, and trying all things new. Starting a new life was no longer scary but exciting, but my family started to dislike the changes that were happening in my life.Every day there were insults and negative comments about everything I did.I knew my family didn't understand the word “evolve” as they had lived a traditional nuclear 1950s family lifestyle. I continued to live my life for me but I carried so much guilt and shame, these feelings stood with me and weighed me down for years. Living for me was no longer exciting but an ugly state of consciousness if I would be accepted. I created an emotional prison for myself and slowly started to tame my ways so my family would be comfortable. Over time I became uncomfortable, and I started to have low self-esteem.My low self-esteem sickened me to be depressed as I made myself so small. I knew I had to find the strength to overcome disappointing my family and others, I needed to be free. I found my strength by having the courage to confront my family and that was by permitting myself to be happy, Raquel style. This was and is my “Shake it Off” era! I can now shake things off if it's not in alignment with who I am or my values. Taylor Swift displays so much confidence because of her shake it off attitude, we can learn a lot from her, and that goes beyond her lyrics and performances but her resilience to keep showing up in her authentic self carrying a huge amount of integrity.

In the year 2020, I was able to read 200 books from the covid-19 pandemic.Of the 200 books I read, the book ”Chop Wood, Carry Water” stood out to me the most. Chop Wood, Carry Water by Joshua Medcalf is about falling in love with the process of being great. When I read this book, I was on my healing journey of losing weight, gaining muscle strength, and starting a new life in a different state post-divorce. I would think time after time when will it not hurt to pick up weights, when will my heart be open again, when will I feel okay on my own in a new place.I kept this fearful mind state for a year until I started seeing results from being disciplined to my growth.In the book by Medcalf, a mentor tells his mentee“If mountaineers who climb ice mountains are focused on the top of the mountain they will not know where to step in front of them. They will slip and die“.In the middle of my struggles, I learned to take one step at a time, but my mindset was stealing my joy, because I was focused on the future, and this is where most people give up. The mentor later explains how a Chinese bamboo tree takes 5 years to grow, growing up to 90 feet tall. I then started to understand the meaning of my growth and how to give myself grace, but more importantly to have hope; hope that everything will be okay. I had the confidence in my soul that I would be more than okay, I’d be great. I found comfort in discomfort with my pain and everything I experienced. I changed my perspective and saw my life course as rewarding. Chop wood, Carry water motivated me to be a patient person and to go after goals that would lead me to a life I didn't have to dream about. I would live the life I always wanted. Today I am weightlifting over 200lbs, I am receiving a PhD, I am healed from past trauma, and I am the woman I aspired to be. Mastering the process and surrendering the outcome is what you will learn from reading this book. I would give this book to anyone of any age as I believe they will be inspired to stay on their journey towards their life success.