Hi my name is Matt and I am working towards overcoming a mental health challenge. My brother Joey took his life eight years ago at the age of 13. I was 12. I have experienced and continue to experience PTSD, anxiety, and depression from my brother’s passing. It has been a hard road for so long. When my brother died it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and I was bleeding to death. Mentally all I could think of is why didn’t I see any signs as his brother I should have saved him. I had to put a plan in place in school because I was not able to retain information. I had to get a 504 plan . My processing of information became difficult and slow and my fight or flight anxiety often kicked in class making me want to flee the classroom. I couldn’t focus and was easily frustrated and irritated by simple tasks that I once had just completed without strife or thought. I handle some of my anxiety and depression by exercising. Drugs were not something I turned to, but many times I have wanted something to take the pain away. I have sought counseling, but have found through trial and error that traditional counseling does not serve me well. Sometimes helping others helps me with my depression. I have learned to look deeply at people and their circumstances and offer a helping hand and guidance to anyone who needs help. I’ve been to the depths of despair, so helping others find ways to cope is something I feel compelled to do. I would like to get a degree in psychology to help those who have had to deal with an extremely traumatic event. I want others to know that there are all kinds of therapy not just talk therapy. Some people use journaling as their outlet, others equine therapy, while others use meditation and prayer. The important thing is that the person address the traumatic events through some method or mode they feel is healing to them. I will support others by working in the mental health field while pursing communications to become a motivational speaker. If my brother had just confided in one person as to how he was feeling, I believe he would be here today. I want people to know that many, many people struggle, and there is no shame in voicing the struggle and getting help. How I wish my brother had found the help he needed to stay. When times get hard one must find a way to rise up. Lean in to those who support you until the feeling of hopelessness passes and then find a way to live a meaningful life. I have learned this is not always easy, but the more I practice self care the better I feel I can cope with the loss of my brother. There will always be regrets. How I wish I got a do over to show my brother how much he meant to others. Joey was an athlete, a straight A student and a terrific friend to everyone. He was popular and had so many friends. Please consider me for this scholarship as it’s my life’s mission to share my story from a sibling perspective and to make others aware of how much they matter. When someone leaves the world the way Joey did, it is believed that at least 100 people are affected. My brother had so much to offer this world. Thank you so much for your consideration. Sincerely, Matthew Patterson

In 2016 I lost my brother Joey to depression. Joey was 13 years old and I was 11. In February of 2017, two months after losing my brother, my mother, Jackie Patterson, underwent surgery for breast cancer and chemotheraphy. This was her second bout with breast cancer. In September of 2017 my family lost our house in Hurricane Irma. We are still homeless from Irma. My entire high school years were spent in a five wheel trailer on our property hoping and praying that our house would be rebuilt and possibly our lives. You never get over the death of a loved one. Our entire family structure was shattered from my brother's passsing. I was unsure if my mom was going to make it after her cancer diagnosis. Losing our home added to the trauma and difficulty of trying to be like the other students in my school. There were days that the weight of everything was more than I felt I could handle especially losing my best friend, my brother Joey. In 8th grade my language arts teacher asked us right before Thankgiving to write what we were thankful for. I remember I wrote "I am thankful that my mom is still alive." My mom is the most influential person in my life and my support person. She is the true definition of perservence in the face of adversity. She continued to teach her students after my brother's death and during and after her cancer surgeries and treatment, My brother and I were students in my mom's classroom several years as we attended a small school. My mom has worked at the same school for 27 years and has been named teacher of the year 6 times, most recently three years ago. My mom is loved by her students, their parents, and our community for her dedication and devotion to the students and families she has served throughout the years. I have learned how your life can be changed in an instant. I have learned that even when your heart and spirit are broken you must go on and continue to make a difference in the lives of others. My mom has shown me and everyone in our community what it looks like to continue to help inspire others to overcome obstacles. I am going to take classes in psychology and public speaking to pursue motivational speaking. My mom likes to write and people often relate to what she has to say. I can proudly say I continued my education and pursued my high school goals and achieved them. I carried a 3.7 GPA through high school while building resiliency and navigating the best I could. Having endured this challenge, I will continue to serve others in my own unique way. If I can share my story and save just one person from leaving this world I will have accomplished one of my goals. My brother Joey was an athlete, a straight A student, and great friend to so many. He hid his depression from the world. Suicide is increasing in today's youth. There needs to be an awareness in the area of mental health. Maybe that awareness can come from me. Also, if I can tell someone to never give up hope during a cancer battlle, I may provide motivation for those struggling with illness or those who have to see a loved one battle illness. Be loving. Be compassionate. Be involved in your community. Help others.Inspire others. Keep going. These are the values my mom has passed on to me that continue to shape my life and goals. Thank you so much for your consideration. Sincerely, Matt Patterson