As kids, we tend to take things for granted. During the first year or so after my parents' divorce, I was too young to comprehend why they'd separated and constantly asked my mom to reconsider leaving my father. As I grew older, I began to understand the gravity of my father's actions and the pressure placed on my mother. I'm grateful to have been raised by my mom, whose imperfections and lessons taught me to be the independent and hardworking person I am today. Without her guidance, I would've never valued science and education as I do now. My mom has had T1D for nearly thirty-one years, ever since she was eight. From my understanding, she wasn't the greatest in school, but she loved learning and strived to be a good student, friend, sister, and daughter. She stood for what she believed in, and defended those she felt needed it. I remember being told these stories in my earlier years, but again, with age comes understanding. Most of her flaws and vulnerabilities burst into full bloom after her father's death. From there, she worked diligently to help raise her sister and be all these things while still managing her T1D. She also has emotional scars she still deals with today, continuously teaching me the value of communication, support, and knowing one's limits, which I've found essential while working toward my goals. Despite her scars, she was unrelenting when raising me. Her values and experiences made her lessons priceless. Her years as a single parent taught me to value my independence, and her love of sci-fi and fantasy taught me to embrace the nerdy stuff. Even after she went on disability and we couldn't afford much, she continued to fuel my interest in dinosaurs by purchasing all sorts of material on them. She took me to numerous museums and allowed me to indulge in my love of documentaries, science, and trivia.  Her fluctuating health and mood made it so she didn't always get it right, especially before my diagnoses of ADHD and autism, but she did her best to be patient and understanding when it came to my differences, teaching me open-mindedness and encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone. She motivated me to make friends, work hard in school, and join clubs, something that reinforced my leadership and teamwork skills. If it weren't for the year she spent taking me to the library almost every other day, I would've never learned to love reading, but now I'm reading books in my spare time and new articles on paleontology and scientific research at least twice a week. I'm excited to someday work with talented individuals and write research articles featured in multiple journals. My mother wanted to be an endocrinologist, but her health prevented this, so she always expresses her hopes that I'll achieve my dreams and obtain a better life than her own. I carry this sentiment with me as motivation. I want to pursue a career in paleontological research, and I owe it all to her tireless efforts. I know there are few job opportunities in this field, so I'll need something to fall back on whenever I'm not collaborating with other researchers. I'll also take advantage of the resources at NC State and other universities I might attend. I plan to major in Biological Sciences, but I might also major in Geology. Wherever the road leads, I hope to have the support and determination to get there, and I'm forever grateful to my mother for holding my hand throughout the first leg of the journey.

[05/31/23] My favorite song on Taylor's '1989' album is "All You Had To Do Was Stay." It has a great beat, but it's my favorite out of the whole album because it was the song that hit me the most. After listening to it for the first time, this song created a tight feeling in my chest that wouldn't go away. It put emotions I've only seen through my mother into words. It brought up tons of horrible memories from the earlier stages of my mom's relationship with her husband, but that's why it feels so powerful to me. For me, the song reveals how — in a toxic relationship — there's one person always looking for reasons to depart out of anger or hurt, possibly even doing terrible things before driving off and leaving the other person to pick up the broken pieces. Usually, it's prefaced by that person saying they'll leave them forever in some form or fashion. Still, the other person loves them, and even though they're so hurt, they'd willingly go back to that person (who usually claims to change) because they want to pretend that it's all okay. Instead of facing facts, they would rather live a lie than be left to deal with the truth alone. The main chorus line is what gets me the most. Almost word-for-word, through sobs etched in my memory, I've heard my mom say it numerous times. "All he had to do was stay, and we could've talked things over. Instead, he left me and ruined everything." At first, I didn't understand how someone could still want their abuser to come back, how no matter what he did — from the numerous times he had hit or strangled her to the one time he choked me — she could still want him back. Over time, I've realized that it was because of his two-sided nature — going from a lovable "teddy bear" to an angry drunk, the memories they've shared, and how difficult it is to let go of something you love. Every single time, it hurt knowing that after he came back, the cycle would only continue and that I'd have to be there for my grieving mother once again. Over time, things have gotten better for them, and he tries to manage his alcohol consumption, but there are still days where I catch glimpses of how it used to be; still moments where I get anxious at seeing any alcoholic beverage in our home or seeing my mother's insecurities border on unhealthy obsessions with her husband's whereabouts. At this point, I've learned to focus on myself and my needs, which has been great for my mental health. Perhaps one day, should it come to that point, my mother and stepdad will figure out what's best for them and whether that involves single or married life. This song impacted me in a way no other musical composition has. It brought up some painful memories, but it's helped me understand how and why someone would crave to be back in a relationship with their abuser. I know that I've only seen it from a bystander's point of view, but I've witnessed the struggle and heartache with my own eyes. I wish more songs focused on what it's like to be a bystander in these situations, but for now, I think this song is able to replicate some of the feelings I've felt through my mother, and it's helped me process pent-up emotions I didn't even know I felt. [06/13/23]: Restraining orders/charges have been filed. It’s over. We are free.

I am fascinated by dinosaurs. Their story and the evolutionary legacy that they left behind inspire me. Like them, I rose, I fell, and then I rose again, though different than I once was. Their story, like mine, is one full of perseverance. Ever since I was four, I knew the word "paleontologist," and that one day, I would become one. My family was unsure of how someone so afraid of bugs could ever go out and dig for fossils, but they still supported me by taking me to museums and buying me toys and books on the subject. We didn't have much money to throw around, mind you — especially after my parents' divorce, but my mother — a type one diabetic, and my grandparents still found ways to cater to the natural-born curiosity bestowed upon me by autism and ADHD. With their help, I became an individual that loved learning and creativity. As I grew older, my love for animals, prehistory, and the inner workings of things grew and morphed into new interests in biology and evolution. I remember flipping through an old biology textbook in the car every Sunday as my grandparents drove to church. I would carry around a little notebook in which I drew all kinds of animals. I took robotics and microbiology every year in middle school, but this time was also when things became difficult. By 7th grade, I'd already witnessed the pain and struggle that type one diabetes could inflict upon a person and their loved ones, but my aunt's death caused my mother's chronic illness to worsen. Overnight, I was thrust into the role of someone's daughter, nurse, and therapist. This lasted years, taking a toll on my mental health and casting me deep into depression; until a series of events helped me overcome the darkness that had consumed my life. Finally, I could focus on myself again, but a nagging sense of guilt made me want to stay close to home and look after my mom. My dreams collapsed, and hastily I constructed new, less stable ones. I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian, but then I wanted to be an artist — or maybe even a therapist; however, none of these made me happy. It wasn't until I took ACA that I rediscovered paleontology and rediscovered myself. Through research, I found the field to be broader than I had anticipated. Over time, my fears of traveling lessened as I realized that the many subfields, coupled with limited job opportunities in paleontology, make it so that I have numerous options that could work for me. Now I feel free to do whatever's necessary to contribute to this incredible field. I know the road ahead of me is tough, but the years at community college have given me time to plan. I don't have everything figured out, but I know some of the courses I'll take, the degrees I want, and a few of the resources that will help me along the way. There aren't a lot of opportunities to get involved in this study, but if I have to, I'll create those opportunities through research. As time progresses, my rekindled interest is becoming a roaring fire. We know much about prehistory — even the colors that some dinosaurs may have been, but there are still questions that need answering, and I want to help find those answers. Through support and perseverance (along with funding), I'll achieve my lifelong dream of becoming a paleontological researcher.

As a high school freshman, I never gave extracurriculars or volunteering a second thought. I didn't participate much — always keeping to myself due to social anxiety driven by autism, my mother's chronic illness, and our small family's small finances. Being so soon after her sister’s death, my mother was still grieving, so I had to be the strong one, a burden I felt I had to carry alone. At that point in my life, asking my mother to do anything extra felt like asking too much. Because of this, my first two years at Northern Nash were grim. Lunchtime was the worst — I felt awkward trying to connect with my peers. Finding things to discuss that didn't make me sound as dismal as I perceived myself to be proved difficult. Witnessing the ease with which everyone seemed to connect and converse over the latest happenings in their clubs and sporting activities made me doubt myself. I didn't believe I was good enough to take part in such things. I didn't even feel worthy of my friendships. This took a toll on my mental health, and to this day I still bear faded scars that remind me of that awful time in my life. Fast-forward to junior year, when COVID was emerging and instructors and pupils were separated by LCD screens. I was taking intermediate art with Mrs. Maloney as my teacher. I was already well-known as a young artist, but that course opened a world of opportunity for my art and me. After my first major project, where words rendered in ink came together to form an impactful image, Mrs. Maloney saw my potential, offering me a position in the NNHS chapter of the National Art Honor Society. Hesitantly, with encouragement from family, I accepted her offer, not realizing how it would change my life forever. I joined late, so my time to gain hours was limited. COVID restricted our volunteer opportunities, making most of them easily forgettable; however, I'll never forget the roadside cleanup. It was hot, and I wasn't used to walking so much — leading to vomiting and a new set of clothes — but I put forth my best effort and formed new connections and friendships, some lasting ever since. From there, I participated in more NAHS activities, and by the following year, I was the vice president of our school's chapter. The things I produced as a member of NAHS are still a source of pride for me. Even during the worst of times, knowing that I played a major role in designing a mural for my hometown puts a smile on my face. Volunteering changed my life, showing me the amazing things that can be achieved with determination. During my time at NCC, I've done a lot of research on what to expect. The years ahead won't be easy, especially from the limited job opportunities in paleontology. I've done some planning and have a good idea of the resources, courses, and degrees I’ll aim for, but it will take a lot of work. NAHS revealed the things one can achieve by stepping outside their comfort zone, but stepping outside your comfort zone is never easy. After next semester, I'll be transferring to NC State, and despite my planning, I know the transition will be scary. Earning a scholarship such as this would not only ease my stress, but it would also ease the stress for my family and the people who have supported me since day one. With this scholarship, stepping outside my comfort zone will be made a bit more comfortable.

So, this piece doesn't fit my vision EXACTLY, but it's close. It's the only one of mine that's been put online. All my life, I've loved animals and cared for their wellbeing. I grew up around pet owners and currently have two cats, so I know that pets are family. My dream is to become a veterinarian that treats both companion and exotic pets so that almost any kind of pet can have access to proper medical care. I want to go to NC State, which is said to have the best veterinary program in North Carolina, because I want to stay close to home. My mom has type one diabetes as well as myeloma and I want to be there for her while I go to school to pursue my dreams. I want to keep art in my life while bettering the lives of animal lovers. In order to do this, I want to open a veterinary clinic where people can also commission artwork of their pets. I know it's not a very big dream, but it's mine and it's important to ME. This scholarship could really help me on the road ahead. I know it won't be easy, but I'm determined to make this dream a reality, scholarship or no scholarship.

Paint stains my clothes as I walk into the kitchen, ready to cease working for the day. My cats jump onto the counter and watch with fascination as colors rain down into the sink from my hands and from the paintbrushes and palettes I'd brought in to be cleaned, occasionally batting at brushes I'd set aside. I knew that Mrs. Evans would love my painting of her dog. I definitely captured Zeus' playful personality. Today had been a tough day, despite the fact that today was my day off from my job at the vet clinic. Because I ran a small business (that I promoted at the clinic) where people could commission me to draw and/or paint their pets, I'd spent the entire day doing what I like to call: "art-ing." I looked at my cats. I'm so glad that they've always been pretty healthy. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to them. Just yesterday, I had to euthanize poor, sweet, little Stormy, one of my... former patients belonging to Mr. Grey. I remember him bringing the cat and seeing how she just laid on the table, looking dazed and being almost completely unresponsive. Her eyes had a surplus amount of mucus built up around then, and I knew instantly that she wasn't long for this world. Moments like those were some of the hardest things to face while on the job, but it was worth it as long an animal didn't have to suffer any longer. Most of my other patients' predicaments ended happily, however. For that, I was thankful. I was thankful for the education I was able to receive, the challenges I faced, and all the support I had. Without those, I would've never been able to do what I love.

With my desired degree, I plan on becoming a veterinarian in order to better the lives of animals, just as they've done to mine. I envision a future where I come home tired from an entire day of treating animals at the clinic. I'd gripe and complain to my two cats about how Mrs. Johnson's son fed her dog chocolate again and how Mr. Thompson should've had his cat spayed a long time ago. I'd laugh after remembering the hilarious antics of my coworkers that day. I'd feel terrible about how bad off some of the pets were and how I had to put one down. It'd be physically and mentally draining work, but it would bring me satisfaction. On days off, I'd work on commissions from pet-parents for drawings and paintings of my patients. To make my dreams a reality, I'm deterimined to continue working hard and maintaining good grades throughout the remainder of my high school experience. I'll volunteer at animal shelters, watch veterinarians doing work in their clinics, and help out on local farms (such as my uncle's). All the while, I'll probably be continuing my studies at Nash Community College until I'm ready to move on. Then, I WILL get accepted into NC State where I'll work and study so hard that I'd constantly wonder if all of this was worth it, only to remember what I'm working toward, which would only inspire me to put in twice the effort. Every day I'd make sure that I'm doing everything I need to do to fulfill my dreams. I'll be an intern at a veterinary clinic in order to gain more animal experience and eventually enter NC State's veterinary school, where I'll make sure to put forth everything I've got so I can make it in the world of veterinary practices. A quote from a complementary fortune cookie that came with my Chinese takeout did a great job at summing up my plans for the future: "There are three ingredients for the good life: learning, earning, and yearning." Those three things are what I plan on doing in order fulfill my dream of is to helping both animals and people by being a veterinarian. I'm going to continue to focus, study, and work hard all throughout my school/college life. I also plan on volunteering and interning at multiple animal shelters and veterinary clinics. These things will allow me to emerge victorious with the degrees I need in order to become the very same veterinarian I see in my dreams for the future.