I believe that my core values will always be the same. People will always be the most important to me. People have shaped the world that we find, and the individuals that we have become. By prioritizing others and finding their humanity and beauty in being human, that is how one can be successful in a career in the beauty industry. My job is only to help people feel as beautiful as I see that they are, and to help them to feel the most comfortable in their own skin. People are the foundation for my career, my life, and my passion. They should be celebrated. In addition to people, education/knowledge is incredibly important to me. I love to be constantly learning what will be the healthiest for my clients and bring them the best results. I am a learner at heart. Providing my clients with knowledge to help them live a happier and healthier life is the best part of my job. Finally, optimism is important to me. I want it to be clear that optimism isn't the belief that everything is good, but it is the belief that there is good in the world and things can improve. Optimism is the foundation for all change and growth. It is entirely possible that these values will change with time, but I can't imagine any of these three not being important to me at any point. They are the foundation for success in my opinion.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference. Every single day seems to get better and better. My relationship with myself and my relationships with others are constantly getting stronger. I have redefined my life and gotten stronger in the process. I don't take any second for granted because little me never thought that I would ever get here. I'm proud that she did. I just want to tell her that all her hard work was worth it. She is better, healthier, and stronger. The future is bright and beautiful. If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Ravenclaws are witty and wise. Hufflepuffs are kindhearted and generous. Every single year, I ask myself this question. The truth is that I am uncertain of which house I am. I just tested out of nearly all math courses for my degree in a pharmaceutical sciences field before my freshman year even started, but I also make an effort to ensure that everyone feels at home around me. I have polled my friends on their thoughts and opinions. It's funny to think that each friend changes their answer year by year. This year, on the other hand, I got a very unified response. I would be proud of my house either way. I've taken so many quizzes and received different answers each time. This year, I was told with full confidence that I am a Hufflepuff. Now, it makes sense, being the mom-friend, that I would be a Hufflepuff, but what sets this year aside from all of the others? Was I less academically inclined? I don't think so. My 5 AP courses would scoff at that suggestion. Was I kinder than in years past? I have always been known for my love and generosity. It's something I don't know how to answer honestly. Why is this year any different? I found my answer within myself. I would consider myself intelligent, but the way that I want to utilize those smarts is the most Hufflepuff route possible. I will be studying Cosmetic Science and Formulation Design as well as Spanish next year. I am studying Cosmetic Science because I want to help people to feel as gorgeous as I see that they are. I am studying Spanish because I believe that the best way to create a more inclusive beauty industry is to be able to reach out to consumers directly. If I am unable to communicate with the individuals that I want to help, I am back to creating an exclusive environment in beauty. I love making people feel beautiful. I work as a beauty advisor, and there is nothing more rewarding than having someone look in the mirror and smile. Now, there may be a strong confidence for others in their house, but mine fluctuates. For now, I am a proud Hufflepuff who is working to bring the most joy to the world. That's all that I strive for in life, to spread joy, so I hope that reading this little story brought some joy to your day. Go Hufflepuff!

I want to be certain that I am exactly where I am meant to be because I am helping people in need.

"Better When I'm Dancin'" by Meghan Trainor has the most important message to me. She is saying that showing pure confidence and embracing that joy from within is what will be the most fulfilling. People will judge no matter what, but by being bold and happy despite the conflict, you are inviting them to be loving and happy with you or taking the power from their negativity. The percussive musicality of the song makes it easy to dance to, but also fun to sing. The major key also invokes immediate joyfulness. The message is so beautiful and positive, and the presentation is extremely effective. Meghan said to be bold and happy, and you'll feel fulfilled. I believe that she's right, and more people should embrace their pure joy. I have never understood why being happy makes you 'uncool' because being true to yourself has always been a trait that I've found in my role models, so dance your heart out and be your bold, happy self!

I love math because once I was told that I couldn't. It sounds silly, but I did poorly on a standardized test in 2nd grade, and my teacher shamed me constantly. She pulled the last straw when she informed my parents that, "It's okay. Some girls will just never be good at math." Ever since then, I have put all of the effort in the world into getting good marks on my math tests. I am determined to become the intelligent individual that little me would be proud of. I am certain she already is. I am proud to say that I am currently in an AP Calculus class. Though it is extremely difficult, figuring out that problem that has been bothering you all day is the most invigorating feeling. I have fallen in love with the difficulty slowly turning to satisfaction when all of the pieces fall together. Sure, some girls will never be good at math, but if you tell this one that she'll never be good at math, she'll prove you wrong, and have fun while doing it. Math is a beautiful representation of struggle for me because ADHD has made it unbelievably difficult to comprehend, but I have always scaled that mountain and made it to the top. I love math.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. I wanted to be a voice of love and kindness to those that have been written off for their emotions. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. I have seen the change that this mindset has brought to the world around me. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have grown closer to these people and grown personally in a manner that I never could have expected. My confidence and love for the world has changed. I can't wait to see where this takes me For my friend, I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

Challenging my own beliefs about my self-worth has had the most profound impact on my life. I have struggled with mental health and suicidal ideation for years. I was in a constant downward spiral, standing on the line between life and death. My friends and family kept me here because I felt that I had an obligation to them to help them with their own issues. It’s cliché to say that one day everything changed, but I can pinpoint exactly when I flipped the script. I was at the bottom of the pit, sitting in my AP Literature classroom, listening to a lecture on how to rhetorically analyze short stories, when my teacher said: “When you analyze your life’s novel, you will realize that you are swimming in meaning.” I felt like a wave had washed over me and I broke into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Words were dropped in my lap that I simply couldn’t ignore. If I give my actions meaning, then I will have meaning. It was such a small moment, but my mindset flipped. I promised myself that if I needed to make it through high school to get out of my battle, everything that I would do would be for someone else. If they needed me, then I could not leave, and I would be the person for them that I never had when I was in that pit. I learned how to be that person for myself. Selflessness saved my life, and completely changed how I view my self-worth. I have learned to love me for me, but I could not have done that without everyone around me. A year and a half ago, I would have described myself as lost, but today I believe that I am strong. With that strength, I have overcome personal battles, advocated for my siblings, and been there for friends who were uncertain themselves. Just today, someone told me that I was the positivity in their life, so being around me allows them to recharge. It felt so rewarding to know that I made a difference, If the question is: would I go through the pain again and have another life-changing moment in that little barren classroom? The truth is, I would. I have been given the opportunity to help so many people and help them find their little pool of meaning. I have been able to see them grow and turn those kiddie pools into lakes and oceans, but with that, mine has grown too and I am not in my desert anymore.

I am currently enrolled in a forensics class, so the scientific discoveries that I get to make, are likely to be found in daily life. My favorite scientific discovery has been how fingerprints form and develop. I completed the fingerprinting unit with extreme success, and went on to fingerprint my family and such, but it was always so fascinating learning how these wearing patterns develop. They rely on several factors, the first being conditions within the womb, both chemical and physical. By the time a fetus is born, they have already developed their fingerprints, but over time, they deteriorate in a way that makes them even more definitively yours. After even more time, they begin to fall back to the little pads that they were inside of the womb. It's my favorite scientific discovery because it displays the cycle of life in a way that is seen every day. The patterns that identify you, that are ingrained within your hands will eventually become less and less definitively yours. Due to my fascination, I would like to say that I am grateful to all forensics scientists who study fingerprints and post their findings. It has helped me to delve deeper into my learning.

I wish that I had learned that it's okay to spend money earlier in life. I know many people will say that they wish they learned the value of money early, but I was taught that spending money was shameful. It has taken years to start working through. I was only allowed to spend money on other people, but I would even be shamed for that. I worked for every cent to my name, but spending it was an embarrassment. I have saved money, but this has created issues when trying to do nice things for myself. I have missed out on so many opportunities due to my fear of being yelled at for spending $20 on something that I needed, or even worse, something that I wanted. I think that it's important to be taught that it is your money, and you determine where it should go to. Saving is so important. I have done that for years, but if you have the means, spending a couple of dollars on something that you want isn't a crime. You deserve to feel the result of your work. So spend it where it's meaningful, and if it is going to be a want, pick a sustainable brand. You want it to last, and support those that are doing good things in communities. Spending money with intention is okay.

I am currently enrolled in a forensics class, so the scientific discoveries that I get to make, are likely to be found in daily life. My favorite scientific discovery has been how fingerprints form and develop. I completed the fingerprinting unit with extreme success, and went on to fingerprint my family and such, but it was always so fascinating learning how these wearing patterns develop. They rely on several factors, the first being conditions within the womb, both chemical and physical. By the time a fetus is born, they have already developed their fingerprints, but over time, they deteriorate in a way that makes them even more definitively yours. After even more time, they begin to fall back to the little pads that they were inside of the womb. It's my favorite scientific discovery because it displays the cycle of life in a way that is seen every day. The patterns that identify you, that are ingrained within your hands will eventually become less and less definitively yours. Due to my fascination, I would like to say that I am grateful to all forensics scientists who study fingerprints and post their findings. It has helped me to delve deeper into my learning.

I feel like the song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" when I list out my hobbies. I play 4 instruments, sing, crochet, do makeup, do calligraphy, run, bake, act, and make jewelry. I wish I had time for it all, but I usually have to pick one per weekend. I started playing violin 7 years ago. It was my first instrument that I really committed to. I've had the violin that I play right now for 5 of those 7 years. It was my first love for music. I had piano lessons when I was 6 years old, but it never really stuck with my until I joined choir. I play piano to help me with my voice parts. I've been in choir for 3 years, but I've been singing for all of my life. I've picked up ukulele and kalimba in the past 2 years, and they're my real hobby instruments. I'm in a choir and an orchestra, but these two are purely for whatever I want to play. I learned to crochet a week ago, and it is my current obsession. It is so relaxing for my brain. Calligraphy was also like that, but I started 4 years ago because of my running. I'm on the cross country team and I've run 2 half marathons. The cross country girls all send eachother pretty notes, and I wanted to make mine as cute as everyone else's, so it stuck! Makeup is my passion, and hopefully, my future career which had helped a lot with acting and theatre where I have a lead role right now, and I'm designing makeup and costumes. I am also making the jewelry and I've started in the past year. I have so many that I've probably forgotten, but this is a little about me.

I used to have a bucket list because I used to want to die. I know, it's dark. I erased what was left of it, and now we've started again with goals. I have more of them than I can count. The first one was to start loving myself, and I did. It took the first year of my quarantine to stop hate, and the second year to learn the love. I am far more confident now, and I'm still working on it. I don't have any more that I have completed yet. Right now, I'm working on taking care of myself, setting routines, and keeping calendars. I'm far too busy for how disorganized my brain is, so I need to write it down. I'm working on it, but I need to remember to set time to assign the rest of my time. I'm also finishing up my hours to get my driver's license. I can get it tomorrow, but I'm too busy and I got behind. After that, my goal is to accept my job offer, and start working at Merle Norman. After that, my goals are to move out of state and start college. I can't wait to see where I go, but I know I have a life to live, so I have to make it enjoyable.

I set a goal to compliment a certain amount of people per day. It's a little thing, but it makes others feel beautiful and confident. The confidence that they get is sometimes exactly the support that they need, and they will come back to me for advice and encouragement. I've been calling some of my friends a couple times per week so that they can tell me what's going on in their life, and I can encourage them to live their life to the fullest. Feelings are valid, and they all have such incredible strengths that will get them what they desire in life. Encouraging others helps me to feel more confident in myself. I always tell my friends that if they ever need anything, come to me and I'll be there. That's what they do, and last week my dearest friend, Chloe, forgot her falsies for a Choralaires dress rehearsal, so I gave her my on the go set that I got for Christmas, and we talked about her anxieties, and she had so much fun. Love and support is 80% of what everyone needs to be successful and I want to be that love and support. We all deserve that 80% to be taken care of.

Change is a constant, and I would like to believe that my inability to adapt to change is as well. I settle into a rhythm and I must stick with it. Being a musician, I feel that rhythm running through my body, and with one off beat, I'm sent spiraling. Change and I had our first wrong note when I was moving after preschool. All of the scenery that grew up to, was gone, and I was thrust into First Grade. The transition to middle school wasn't too bad until, 4 months in, my parents got divorced. My world flipped on its head, and at the age of 9, I fulfilled all of the duties of a parent. Sure, my dad didn't know how to adapt to this change, but 9 year old me did. Our most recent tango was when quarantine began. I already had steadily been getting mentally worse, until my strings finally snapped. Therapy began and I healed. I became different, stronger, more caring for myself. The new strings put were put on; they sound beautiful, but different. I am more self-centered, but in the healthy way. I know how to stand up for myself, project, and love others the way that I needed love. I know how to raise kids, so I teach my siblings what I wish I knew when I were their age. I'm stronger than I began. My rhythms are rewritten, a adaptation of myself to best fit my environment. I hope that those around me feel my love for them. My hope is that kids don't have to snap for those new strings, and that they can just become upgraded when the time comes. My future goal is to make others feel beautiful and loved because I needed that.

My goals for the future are as follows: Live life to the fullest, spread love, eat 3 meals per day, and make a difference that people 100 years from now will see, and appreciate. Those are very broad goals, some being cliché, but I feel that, as I grow, their exact definition will fall into place. The most important question is, how does one define success? If I reach my goals, am I successful? I'm not sure. Success, to me, in this life, is making a difference in the lives of less fortunate individuals. My goal is to create generational wealth in families who have never had that. My dream is to create a makeup studio where I can help people feel beautiful in their skin. If that takes off, I would like to take them money to develop an eco-friendly living space for those in need with transportation, food, education, clothing, and anything anyone would need to get back on their feet. I want to provide opportunity that I have been blessed to have, to others. If I can make that difference, I would consider myself truly successful. If it comes to the end of my life, and all I have done is foster teens, and then help them through college, I would still consider myself successful. I want to provide opportunity. I want to create love, a space for those who need support, and make it friendly for the environment. My fullest life is helping everyone who has ever needed it. I'm doing my best to get there.

As someone with ADHD, studying is one of the hardest things in the universe to do. I don't latch on to the things that I should. The only concepts that I grasp, are tangible, visual ideas. For some reason, I have always been a great test taker, but gosh, I don't hold on to any information. The only strategy that I've found that works is singing it. I can only memorize things if I sing them. I love words so much, but I need a tangible idea. If we only have words, I memorize them through singing. As an actress, I've memorized every single monologue through singing it. If I sing it through 2-3 times, it's stuck. Of course, with my memory issues, it goes pretty quickly, but I hold onto it for way longer than any traditional study method. It's the strangest study strategy I've heard, but it works. I wish I understood how it worked, so that I could use it more. Speeches and monologues have a rhythm, so do words and definitions for English. My music had consumed my life, but in the best way. It saves me academically.

I have so many opinions, and anyone who knows me, knows that about me. Sure, everyone has opinions, but I will share mind openly. This openness has become almost a lifestyle that began when I started learning how to love myself. I learned that my opinions matter so much more than I would've imagined because they shape who I really am. The word commitment reminds me of a relationship, and I could never leave my loud, bright, and colorful voice behind. I may be a 5'5" feminine presenting person, but my voice is big and filled with fire. I feel strong, and steady with my beliefs. I study human rights and principles constantly, and with that comes a passion for speaking my mind. As Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, "Well behaved women seldom make history." I believe that goes for quiet women as well. The willingness to raise your voice above oppressors is so important. Speaking one's mind is what creates change and innovation. That truth shapes the future. So, speak up, and out. Also, remember, as my momma says: "The key to happiness is to not argue with stupid people." You're stronger than that, and I am too. Quieting down changes nothing.

I would make people feel as beautiful as I see that they are for a living. I would love to be a makeup artist. I have so many passions: music, theatre, writing, crocheting, jewelry-making, but makeup is the most fulfilling for me. I have so many options open to me, but I think I can do the most good through makeup artistry. As a part of my school's theatre program, I am the lead actress in one of our shows this winter; as well as, hair, makeup, and costume director. When I do makeup on my friends for a show or just for fun, they always have the sweetest smiles once I'm done. I feel like a fairy godmother because I just helped to boost someone's confidence. I do their makeup and compliment them. It's always so fun. Whatever I do, I want to make a difference in the world around me. I want to make my artistry eco-friendly, and help my community. If I am as successful as I wish to be, I want to create housing developments for people who need housing security for free. I want to make the world beautiful too.

"Not many people can afford to save money, so do what you can to make sure that you do." It came from one of my parents. They started a savings account when I was little. There still isn't much in there, but I do as much as I can to add to it. It's true, not many people can afford to save that extra money, and I am fortunate enough to be able to work a little bit, and slowly add to that account. It always brings me a little bit of joy when I get a notification that my balance went up because interest was deposited. It is usually only about 26 cents, but I will take what I can get. In many cases, you need money to make money. Transportation, clothing, hygiene, education, and more costs money, so my ability to have a little head start will make all of the difference for me. I probably only have less than 5% of what I need for college, but I have more than nothing, and I'm fortunate for that. I hope that even if I don't win a scholarship with this essay, someone can see this and be inspired to start a savings account for themselves or for their children, even with a few dollars because you never know when you might need it, and it will slowly, but surely, grow. 26 cents isn't a ton, but when you get 26 cents every 2 months for 18 years is almost $30. If you can, save it.

The characteristic that I value most within myself is my capacity to create joy and spread love to others. Do you know how refreshing it is to get a little smile after you tell someone that they have pretty eyes, and the shirt that they're wearing brings out those eyes so we'll? It's an incredible feeling. I aspire to be a cosmetologist, so beauty is kind of my "thing". Obviously, cosmetics don't make you beautiful, but for me, they've opened doors to feeling more confident about my natural beauty, and telling others about theirs. There's this gorgeous girl that I've known forever that has recently developed alopecia, and her makeup and such has brought out that natural beauty that she has. Her eyelashes have gone, so she wears falsies, but they bring out such beautiful eyes. I think that when you highlight that natural beauty, and get complimented on it, the compliment gets so much more meaningful than just "I like your makeup." I love spreading that joy. You're beautiful inside and out, and when you highlight this, and bring out that, you are able to recognize how stunning you truly are. I have become so much more confident because I can recognize my best features through their potential. When I help others recognize theirs, especially when they're sitting in the styling chair, it helps me combine my passions with their self-esteem. The joy that I get to create is beyond anything that I could have ever desired. I love teaching others, so my ability to help and reinforce the learner's value to me within the learning context, and outside of it; has shown me that when others feel comfortable and loved, they are far more successful. That joy washes away frustration, and becomes an easy resolve. These little things sound trivial, but those little reassurances to the person sitting next to you, they mean a lot. Your kindness and gentleness is a powerful force. My strength through love, gentleness, and grace has shown given me the most amazing opportunities. I have been offered a job at a cosmetics store. I have been tutoring Spanish students and been offered membership of several honors societies. The little bit of leadership with some encouragement without being condescending is the trick to building a better team. I feel like I'm a team builder, but not in the way that most people think. I build each individual up to their own height to be stunning, and then we individually go on to create more kindness and support. It spreads. The capacity to create joy and love is certainly my favorite quality within myself, and others as well. It's always a very important one that many will forget.

The Arts? That's my life. A musician who plays 4 instruments and sings, is the treasurer of drama club, the lead in our next production, our makeup artist, a writer, and jewelry maker: that's a pretty full description of me. Creativity is how I live. It is my everything, my love, and my passion. My life is written in poetry and song. The rhythms are my heartbeat and the sound of my feet against the ground. Creativity is freedom. It's new, and bold. My violin sounds like a rich red, the same color as my daily bold lipstick. The sharp and precise eyeliner flicks up like a dramatic vibrato, and brings my strength for the day. I learn and adapt to the world around me constantly. I run to reduce my anxiety, I sing to memorize the words that won't stay, and I'm constantly acting to make it seem like I'm okay. The flaws become sketches in my mind, etched there, but beautiful. It feels as though my sense of self is constantly being rewritten, as I won't be good enough until I make my masterpiece. I will be my own masterpiece one day.

My goal is to bring a light to the life of others. It's the reason why I'm still here. I love seeing people smile. I want to get the education necessary to have a career where I bring joy to others, and make enough money to continue to give back. I want everyone to have security, joy, and the means to be able to explore what their "why" is. My passion is makeup artistry. I love seeing my clients' eyes light up when they see what I created. The love that they feel for themselves because they were naturally this beautiful, but I added some extra color, makes my life worth it. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their skin. The cosmetic industry profits off of these insecurities, and I want to change the mindset behind makeup. You see, for me, it's not making myself beautiful. I see it as a fun art project. My creations don't make me beautiful because I already am. Along with the profiting off of insecurity, there are a lot of issues with environmental unfriendliness. I want to take a stand to make the cosmetic industry more sustainable and kind to the environment. The pollution of the planet is creating a lower quality life for everyone on earth, so by creating a more eco-friendly industry, all would benefit. My other passion is combatting housing insecurity. Though I live in a more wealthy area, I have dear friends who have lived on the poverty line for the majority of their lives. Along with economic circumstances, I have friends who are parts of the LGBTQ+ community that don't have a safe home, like I do. They will be couch-hopping until the day that they go to college. I want to build more wide-spread housing opportunities so that they are certain that they know where they are sleeping at night. I want them to have their same laughs and smiles without the tinge of worry behind their eyes. When I have the means, I will begin this project. Though it is is impossible for a single person to reshape the world, I will be a part of that change. I want to bring joy and comfort to the lives of my peers, and I wish to complete that through my career. Happiness is my "why", beauty is my "why", and support with comfort and safety is my "why".

Nature is the purity of life. Society is left behind, and there is no judgement. Only birds, trees, crunchy leaves, and harmony. The beautiful sounds fill the air, and it's peaceful. I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. I'm surrounded by creatures that are living the way that they are meant to. I'm not religious, but I get the feeling that I'm where I'm meant to be when I'm walking through the ravine across from my house. The squirrels chase eachother up the trees, and it's peaceful. It's this harmonious environment of life and death. The moss grows on the fallen trees, and the snails and frogs can be found inside. The coyotes call out into the night, and the foxes sprint across the lawns. The deer wander through the grass, and watch me while I watch the world around me. The bunnies hop underneath the trees, and it's peaceful. Gosh, I just want peace. The alone-ness while not being alone, the beauty of the natural world, the harmony is what draws me in. I wish I never had to leave. I want peace. I want to be the vivacious coyotes, majestic foxes, the caring deer, and the humble bunnies. Nature is the beauty of the universe, and the love letters that the world sends to us. Why do we destroy them?

I survived. I didn't think I would. I was drowning in my own thoughts, and there was no one there to pull me up. My mom said I had to wait until the doctor had an opening in 2 months, or I had to go to the hospital. I just wanted to die. I didn't. I set a calendar. I counted down the days. I survived. Barely, but I survived. It's so strange that the very thing that was killing me was the same thing that told me blood to pump through me, tells my muscles how to move, and controls me. My own brain said I was done. Poor mental health is terrifying, but I made it. It ended up being over 6 months until I was able to go to the doctor to become medicated. I counted down the days between appointments. Therapy weekly, 6 months out is the psychiatrist appointment. It was a miracle. Today, I'm slowly getting better. I fall every once in a while, but the water around me is more like a bathtub, rather than an ocean. I can stand up. I stand up for myself. I put in effort to make sure than no one is as alone as I was. Everyone has somewhere to go, and someone who loves them, someone that they can't leave here. I am stronger.

During finals week, I was studying 15 hours per day. It's not healthy, I know, but my mental health break was taking a shower. Showers are the most effective mental care that I have found for myself. I get peace and quiet and warmth that I so desperately need. It's my time to care about myself. I get myself sweet smelling body wash and nice conditioner, so that my hair is soft and I smell sweet. Being clean makes me instantly feel better because if I'm sitting there in my 2 day old clothes with greasy hair and smelling like a depressive episode, I am not going to get anything done. So, I take my warm shower and put on loose clothes and eat a snack while watching some ASMR. Sleep also makes a world of difference. I set a bedtime for myself. Even if I can't go to sleep at a reasonable time, I, at least, have a cut-off point. I'm still learning to take care of myself, but everyone needs a deep breath and a break every hour or so. If you can't take care of you, you can't take care of the work that you need to do.

Three years ago, I would've been almost dead. I was skin and bones, crying non-stop. I was falling apart, and everyone could see it, but they ignored it. Due to my struggles with mental health, I have been able to recognize signs of depleting mental health among others. The path to where I was took years for my pain to manifest that extremely, but no one cared enough to say something. I was starved, and exhausted. I thought that even if I got better, I would still have to go because everything reminded me of the darkness that consumed my mind. One day I realized, at the bottom of the pit, if I couldn't live for myself, I would live for the ones I love, and live to make change so that no one felt the way that I did. I wanted to make a difference so that no one gets that deep. My main goal is to make that difference in the lives of children struggling with mental health. Along this journey, I was radicalized. I was always an advocate and an activist, but I realized that just caring for kids wasn't going to make the impact that I thought it would. Big changes needed to be made. My family is well-off. I have never had to worry about if I would have another meal. I was purposely starving myself, with so much in front of me. I have so much potential, but I didn't grow. So, I want to create those opportunities for families and people who don't have the economic potential that I happened to be born into. I want to create sustainable housing developments out of unused buildings for those who are less fortunate than I have been. The most important part of this, for me, has been that mental health resources would be provided. Everything would be free to the residents, but mental health resources are something that is needed most by those that are unable to afford them. Now, I feel as though this treatment should be provided to all, but I want to start with those that need it most. I am uncertain of if I will ever be able to afford this dream, but I will certainly try. My relationships have prospered since this epiphany. I have been able to save several lives, and get others to therapy. I was already empathic, but noticing those signs that I ignored first in myself has made a world of difference in those around me. I survived. I didn't think I would. I was drowning in my own thoughts, and there was no one there to pull me up. My mom said I had to wait until the doctor had an opening in 2 months, or I had to go to the hospital. I just wanted to die. I didn't. I set a calendar. I counted down the days. I survived. Barely, but I survived. It's so strange that the very thing that was killing me was the same thing that told me blood to pump through me, tells my muscles how to move, and controls me. My own brain said I was done. Poor mental health is terrifying, but I made it. It ended up being over 6 months until I was able to go to the doctor to become medicated. I counted down the days between appointments. Therapy weekly, 6 months out is the psychiatrist appointment. It was a miracle. Today, I'm slowly getting better. I fall every once in a while, but the water around me is more like a bathtub, rather than an ocean. I can stand up. I stand up for myself. I put in effort to make sure than no one is as alone as I was. Everyone has somewhere to go, and someone who loves them, someone that they can't leave here. Now, I'm on medications, and seeing a therapist. My mom says, "Happiness is just like cookies: If you can't make your own, store bought is just fine." I'm working to strengthen my sense of self. I'm getting better, but my goals have stayed the same. I want to make a difference. I keep feeling more and more confident in me, and I can't wait to see where I go.

I survived. I didn't think I would. I was drowning in my own thoughts, and there was no one there to pull me up. My mom said I had to wait until the doctor had an opening in 2 months, or I had to go to the hospital. I just wanted to die. I didn't. I set a calendar. I counted down the days. I survived. Barely, but I survived. It's so strange that the very thing that was killing me was the same thing that told me blood to pump through me, tells my muscles how to move, and controls me. My own brain said I was done. Poor mental health is terrifying, but I made it. It ended up being over 6 months until I was able to go to the doctor to become medicated. I counted down the days between appointments. Therapy weekly, 6 months out is the psychiatrist appointment. It was a miracle. Today, I'm slowly getting better. I fall every once in a while, but the water around me is more like a bathtub, rather than an ocean. I can stand up. I stand up for myself. I put in effort to make sure than no one is as alone as I was. Everyone has somewhere to go, and someone who loves them, someone that they can't leave here. I am stronger.

Happiness is a little sparkle. You see it all around. Sometimes, the light is dimmer, so there's less sparkle, but it will always come back. Happiness, to me, is best when it's shared. My most recent moment of pure bliss was my reunion with my girlfriend after a month apart. Her eyes are so sparkly and warm. Her beautiful smile makes me feel so happy and safe. I seek out happiness and fulfillment by providing it to others. She is trans, and one of the best ways to help her feel comfortable is to do her makeup. I love doing makeup, and it is what I would love to pursue. That joy that I share with her is 1000 times more powerful than anything I could experience on my own. When I work in my best friend's mom's store, I get that little sparkle, and it is only amplified by Mrs. Poland and the wonderful ladies that work there or the customers that feel beautiful after having their makeup done. My happiness comes through helping those around me. Empathy is, what I believe to be, my greatest strength, and I'm so glad to have that experience with the joy of others. I just hope I never lose my sparkle.

Joy is a little sparkle. You see it all around. Sometimes, the light is dimmer, so there's less sparkle, but it will always come back. Joy, to me, is best when it's shared. My most recent joyful moment was my reunion with my girlfriend after a month apart. Her eyes are so sparkly and warm. Her beautiful smile makes me so happy. I seek out joy by providing it to others. She is trans, and one of the best ways to help her feel comfortable is to do her makeup. I love doing makeup, and it is what I would love to pursue. That joy that I share with her is 1000 times more powerful than anything I could experience on my own. When I work in my best friend's mom's store, I get that little sparkle, and it is only amplified by Mrs. Poland and the wonderful ladies that work there or the customers that feel beautiful after having their makeup done. My joy comes through helping those around me. Empathy is, what I believe to be, my greatest strength, and I'm so glad to have that experience with the joy of others. I just hope I never lose my sparkle.

I have never found the best way to begin this story, but it began just as abruptly as I have begun writing it. Here is where we begin: I am Linnea. My pronouns are she/they, and I am queer. My girlfriend is trans, but so many around her don't know because they will never be supportive. She can't even tell her best friend because he is Catholic and homophobic. It's an interesting story, you see, my ex was a trans girl as well. Her parents didn't support her either. They were rude, and they're still trying to kick her out of the house. Even though we broke up on bad terms, I would still give her my couch because everyone deserves to be safe. When I met her, she was already out and using she/her pronouns with everyone at school. The only people not using them were those who are transphobic. Now, I knew with her. Soon after we broke up, I started dating my current partner. She's gorgeous. At the time, I thought she was nonbinary. She was using all pronouns. The night that we became official she told me that she thinks she is a trans girl. I, obviously, had zero issues with this. I told her that I cared about her no matter what. I was the first that she had ever told. We had all of the typical discussions about logistics and such. I love her so much. She went to college 3 months after we started dating, and her self-expression has grown. We bought her 3 dresses, and she video calls me just to show me and smile. It's the cutest thing. I never realized how much a dress or something could mean that much to someone. I'm looking to become a cosmetologist. That was my dream before, but her smile when I put some eyeliner and red lipstick on her is what makes the difference between it being an "if" and a "when" I become a cosmetologist. It is the most beautiful feeling in the world to know that you made someone feel so beautiful. Now, I did similar things for my ex, but obviously that has become cold. I tell her that her outfit looks cute or that I like her hair, and it very much brightens her day. If anyone gains anything from this, I want it to be that trans women need love. Telling them that they look pretty means so much. Don't be scared because many people are too afraid to say anything, but they are some very beautiful people. I wrote a song for my girlfriend, who is a music composition major, so I'll attach the lyrics below. Trans women deserve more recognition than they get. You're beautiful!

The characteristic that I value most within myself is my capacity to create joy and spread love to others. Do you know how refreshing it is to get a little smile after you tell someone that they have pretty eyes, and the shirt that they're wearing brings out those eyes so we'll? It's an incredible feeling. I aspire to be a cosmetologist, so beauty is kind of my "thing". Obviously, cosmetics don't make you beautiful, but for me, they've opened doors to feeling more confident about my natural beauty, and telling others about theirs. There's this gorgeous girl that I've known forever that has recently developed alopecia, and her makeup and such has brought out that natural beauty that she has. Her eyelashes have gone, so she wears falsies, but they bring out such beautiful eyes. I think that when you highlight that natural beauty, and get complimented on it, the compliment gets so much more meaningful than just "I like your makeup." I love spreading that joy. You're beautiful inside and out, and when you highlight this, and bring out that, you are able to recognize how stunning you truly are. I have become so much more confident because I can recognize my best features through their potential. When I help others recognize theirs, especially when they're sitting in the styling chair, it helps me combine my passions with their self-esteem. The joy that I get to create is beyond anything that I could have ever desired. I love teaching others, so my ability to help and reinforce the learner's value to me within the learning context, and outside of it; has shown me that when others feel comfortable and loved, they are far more successful. That joy washes away frustration, and becomes an easy resolve. These little things sound trivial, but those little reassurances to the person sitting next to you, they mean a lot. Your kindness and gentleness is a powerful force. My strength through love, gentleness, and grace has shown given me the most amazing opportunities. I have been offered a job at a cosmetics store. I have been tutoring Spanish students and been offered membership of several honors societies. The little bit of leadership with some encouragement without being condescending is the trick to building a better team. I feel like I'm a team builder, but not in the way that most people think. I build each individual up to their own height to be stunning, and then we individually go on to create more kindness and support. It spreads. The capacity to create joy and love is certainly my favorite quality within myself, and others as well. It's always a very important one that many will forget.

I work hard in my everyday life to make sure I don't put anything to waste. I donate or sell anything that I won't use anymore. I recycle the things that are unusable. I make sure that all of the companies I buy from do the same thing. Being a person whose passion is makeup, I have found many ways to be more sustainable. I use magnetic lashes that can be worn over 60 times compared to strip lashes that can be worn once. I have machine washable makeup removers. I make sure to use every product, and I don't waste any of it. The cosmetics industry has the potential to be a danger to the earth, or very eco friendly. I try to stay on the eco friendly side. This year I joined Poshmark, which has allowed me to sell the things that I don't use anymore. I feel like it has really helped me because I can sell the stuff I don't use and buy the things others don't use. It ends up being a very mutually beneficial relationship. Not creating waste/reusing is my way of being kind to the environment.

I do everything in my power to support my family and friends. I like to make it clear that my love and listening ear is here for them always. I reach out weekly, and make sure that every pal knows that they are uniquely appreciated. This is hard with many of them being so far away. I have friends in Maryland, Minnesota, California, and beyond. My girlfriend and I are long-distance, so for Valentine's day, I wrote her a song: Little Miss Stars, You're the one with my heart, Run away with it now and then. There comes the sun, the brightest one, and you cease to be seen for a bit. You're the ruler of my universe, the one with my heart, I wanna make you mine, so stay... Little Miss Stars, You're the one with my heart, Run away with it now and then. You always come back, and I-- Will wait for you forever So, little miss stars Honey, darling, dear Will you be mine?

1. I deserve this scholarship because my cats think that I do. If I don't win, they have decided that they will scream at the door at 3 am. Lilly also says that she will angrily throw up on the floor. River said that she will poop on your bath mat in protest. 2. My academic goals are to not fail. My career goals are to make money. My academic and career goals are to put stuff into my brain and make money out of it. 3. One time, I tried hurdles. I overcame that obstacle by going under it. I was really good at limbo, but I decided that I would never do hurdles again.

I'm an activist in my community for women, lgbtq+, and bipoc rights. Being in theatre, I get to meet the most diverse people at my school through my passions. I was raised to be a feminist by my mom and grandfather, who taught her. I just have wonderful friends from all different backgrounds. Zionsville is a very affluent place, but I have had the opportunity to experience different cultures, and I've been embraced as a queer person. My step mom is from Costa Rica, so I have had the opportunity of practicing my Spanish with her family, and learning about Costa Rica culture as a whole, as well as her experience as an immigrant. I feel as though I have a wide view of the world around me, even though I live in a bubble. I am planning more, and by this time next year, I hope to have specific events that I have planned. My activism is small, but I speak out as much as I possibly can. I've led a lot of discussions in relation to equality, and transforming Zionsville to be a more accepting community. I fight for myself and I try to amplify the voices of those that are quieter. I want to become a makeup artist to make everyone feel as beautiful as I see that they are. I know that makeup artistry had been very exclusive, but it's my goal to transform that. I want to be successful enough to create a sustainable housing development for low income families to live in for free when they are trying to get back on their feet. Equality is so important to me, and it comes with opportunity. I hope that I will be able to provide those opportunities for those around me.

If a piece of literature can help you find a reason to live, I feel that it is a significant and inspiring piece of literature. For me, that book was "Looking For Alaska" by John Green. The story deals with very heavy subjects, and happens to be based upon real events. When I read this book, I was in one of the darkest places in my life. I related so heavily to Alaska Young, but instead of smoking and drinking, it was not eating and other self-destructive behavior. I was in pain, dizzy, and I wanted to die. I didn't realize my self-destructive behavior was connected to my suicidal ideation. I started putting in an effort to take care of myself. I started to see the beauty in myself the way that Pudge saw the beauty in Alaska Young. She was an adventure. I wanted the beauty and adventure, but I wanted to live through it. I want to cherish it. I began to read more, and develop my life's library. I found books that spoke to me on a level that I cannot comprehend. The tragedy of this book brought out a desire in me to keep living. I just wish that I could say thank you. I've read hundreds upon hundreds of books. Mrs. Buckley, the middle school librarian, used to save books for me to read because I read everything. Out of all of those books, that is the only book that I have read multiple times. Each time I read it, there's a new spark in me. I have become a hurricane. I want to live. I love myself because of Alaska Young. I am who I am because of her. I am never hopeless because I am never irreparably broken.

If a piece of literature can help you find a reason to live, I feel that it is a significant and inspiring piece of literature. For me, that book was "Looking For Alaska" by John Green. The story deals with very heavy subjects, and happens to be based upon real events. When I read this book, I was in one of the darkest places in my life. I related so heavily to Alaska Young, but instead of smoking and drinking, it was not eating and other self-destructive behavior. I was in pain, dizzy, and I wanted to die. I didn't realize my self-destructive behavior was connected to my suicidal ideation. I started putting in an effort to take care of myself. I started to see the beauty in myself the way that Pudge saw the beauty in Alaska Young. She was an adventure. I wanted the beauty and adventure, but I wanted to live through it. I want to cherish it. I began to read more, and develop my life's library. I found books that spoke to me on a level that I cannot comprehend. The tragedy of this book brought out a desire in me to keep living. I just wish that I could say thank you. I've read hundreds upon hundreds of books. Mrs. Buckley, the middle school librarian, used to save books for me to read because I read everything. Out of all of those books, that is the only book that I have read multiple times. Each time I read it, there's a new spark in me. I have become a hurricane. I want to live. I love myself because of Alaska Young. I am who I am because of her. I am never hopeless because I am never irreparably broken.

My experiences with mental health have made relationships harder to upkeep, but stronger at the same time. My lack of energy grows us apart, but my understanding and compassion has helped me to connect with others way easier than before. There is more of a mutual understanding that I care for them and they care for me, but most of my pals are also struggling. We are always there for eachother, and I've talked several people out of killing themselves. It's a terrifying thing, but I'm glad that they knew I was there for them. I hope that they always have that understanding. My career aspirations in the midst of my worst mental health has led me to want to be a psychologist because I felt as though there wasn't enough help out there for me. Especially within the school system, I had several cries for help, but no one cared enough to listen. I wanted to be the help that I so desperately needed. Well, I realized that I couldn't realistically do that as a career with all of the emotional baggage that I carry with me, so I decided I would be that person for everyone around me. Then, as I was in the beginning of recovering from the worst of it, I realized that I should pursue things that I genuinely enjoy, not what everyone else wants me to pursue. This is my life, and my dreams are the ones that matter. Maybe I got a bit self-centered, but I think that it was more of a self-care moment than anything. I finally got to care about what I think, and be who I want to be, not the person that I was molded to be by those around me. I became more caring to others because I was truly able to care for me. My girlfriend and I became closer and it was almost a reconnection once I started working towards a better me. I started gaining weight after disordered eating, and I started to feel more and more beautiful. My body was filling out the way that it was naturally meant to be. It was becoming beautiful, not because my physical appearance was changing, but because I was confident and taking care of myself. I would consider it a significant glow-up. Through all of this, I have shared my story with family, friends, and others in order to normalize these issues and combat the silencing of struggling individuals. I've stood up within the school system to try to get the care that students deserve. Students are dropping like flies within my school, and everyone is avoiding talking about it. I want to change that narrative. I was silent, but the care of others matters so much more than my ego. I don't need a headline that reads: "Straight A Student Who Was Always Happy Suddenly Commits Suicide," because that isn't the truth. I was pretending. I need others to know that how I felt was a common thing, and there is hope and treatment out there. Destigmatizing mental health is the only route to get students the help that they so desperately need.

"Not many people can afford to save money, so do what you can to make sure that you do." It came from one of my parents. They started a savings account when I was little. There still isn't much in there, but I do as much as I can to add to it. It's true, not many people can afford to save that extra money, and I am fortunate enough to be able to work a little bit, and slowly add to that account. It always brings me a little bit of joy when I get a notification that my balance went up because interest was deposited. It is usually only about 26 cents, but I will take what I can get. In many cases, you need money to make money. Transportation, clothing, hygiene, education, and more costs money, so my ability to have a little head start will make all of the difference for me. I probably only have less than 5% of what I need for college, but I have more than nothing, and I'm fortunate for that. I hope that even if I don't win a scholarship with this essay, someone can see this and be inspired to start a savings account for themselves or for their children, even with a few dollars because you never know when you might need it, and it will slowly, but surely, grow. 26 cents isn't a ton, but when you get 26 cents every 2 months for 18 years is almost $30. If you can, save it.

I know it sounds trivial, but showers work miracles. After a terrible heartbreak, an awful mental health episode, or a traumatic event; a shower makes it a little bit better. It melts away the surface wounds and surrounds you with warmth and good smells. It's peace, and the sound of water falling, which I find calming. It isn't everything, but it sure is something. It gives me a place where I'm able to hear my thoughts and be alone. I'm one of five at my dad's house which is where I struggle the most, and a shower is my sanctuary. I have one opportunity for some quiet. I get to work through my worries, and rinse off the stress of the day. Remember that it only gets better, and that I get to come back tomorrow to do it again. It becomes a beautiful cycle. Stress, rest, rinse, repeat with smells of strawberry soap and coconut conditioner and some quiet. Optimism means something different to everyone. Mine is some hope and some peace. Water washing out the sounds of yelling and responsibilities. It's my time for self care, and no one else will bother me. The warmth gives me hope that one day I will feel this warmth from someone's heart.

I know it sounds trivial, but showers work miracles. After a terrible heartbreak, an awful mental health episode, or a traumatic event; a shower makes it a little bit better. It melts away the surface wounds and surrounds you with warmth and good smells. It's peace, and the sound of water falling, which I find calming. It isn't everything, but it sure is something. It gives me a place where I'm able to hear my thoughts and be alone. I'm one of five at my dad's house which is where I struggle the most, and a shower is my sanctuary. I have one opportunity for some quiet. I get to work through my worries, and rinse off the stress of the day. Remember that it only gets better, and that I get to come back tomorrow to do it again. It becomes a beautiful cycle. Stress, rest, rinse, repeat with smells of strawberry soap and coconut conditioner and some quiet. Optimism means something different to everyone. Mine is some hope and some peace. Water washing out the sounds of yelling and responsibilities. It's my time for self care, and no one else will bother me. The warmth gives me hope that one day I will feel this warmth from someone's heart.

Well, I've never been a dependent person. My parents got divorced when I was 9, and my dad was never really a parent, so at the age of 9, I took on a parent role. I took care of my 2 siblings. Later, he started dating, and I wound up taking care of 4 kids. Being independent can be debilitating, but when I don't have others that are dependent on me, it is so freeing. I can't wait until I am completely independent. Flying solo, as they say. Well, I have a beautiful girlfriend, but we are both very independent. Our independence creates an amazing partnership. I will be able to pursue my dreams without judgement or being held back. My independence emotionally has allowed me to cut free from toxic relationships. It has helped me to better understand myself as a person, and what I desire in life. I can't wait until I am truly independent, in college, creating the life that I have always wanted for myself.

Well, who am I? I have categories, and I'm slightly different in different crowds. In my truest form, I think I'm a fairy princess. Silly, I know, but it goes back to when I felt true to myself. Three year olds don't judge because they have the coolest fantasies to begin with. Well, who am I today? I'm a musician. I play 4 instruments. I'm in choir. I'm in theatre. I run cross country. I practice makeup artistry. I write music and poems and I have 6 cats. I make jewelry. I crochet. I spend time putting together each and every outfit. I speak Spanish and english. I am a queer person who uses she/they pronouns. What I do and what I have doesn't define me though, so what does? Well, let's see. I have my beliefs. Every day, I make sure to give 80% of the people I meet a genuine compliment because you never know who needs one. I care about others so much, and I need them to know that I'm always here for them. I have my girlfriend and I call her when I wake up and when I go to sleep and in between my activities. I practice these things daily. I spread as much love as I can, and I work myself so much. I usually work too hard, but that's me. I want to do it all. To be true to me, I put on some red lipstick, some falsies, sing and cuddle with kittens, while giving compliments. That seems like a lot, but I am a lot. I'm me.

I know it sounds unrelated, but showers work miracles. After a terrible heartbreak, an awful mental health episode, or a traumatic event; a shower makes it a little bit better. It melts away the surface wounds and surrounds you with warmth and good smells. It's peace, and the sound of water falling, which I find calming. It isn't everything, but it sure is something. It gives me a place where I'm able to hear my thoughts and be alone. I'm one of five at my dad's house which is where I struggle the most, and a shower is my sanctuary. I have one opportunity for some quiet. I get to work through my worries, and rinse off the stress of the day. Remember that it only gets better, and that I get to come back tomorrow to do it again. It becomes a beautiful cycle. Stress, rest, rinse, repeat with smells of strawberry soap and coconut conditioner and some quiet. Optimism means something different to everyone. Mine is some hope and some peace. Water washing out the sounds of yelling and responsibilities. It's my time for self care, and no one else will bother me. The warmth gives me hope that one day I will feel this warmth from someone's heart.

I love my strength. I think that I'm absolutely beautiful, and those strong legs and arms are stunning, but that's not what I'm talking about. My mental strength is impressive to me. With the amount I have worked through, I feel really proud. The resilience impressed me to this day. I mean, and talk about vocal strength. My first year in choir, and I get into the highest level vocal group in the school. Not only that, but I also run half marathons. I really love my strengths, and I have so many of them. I feel like I can do it all. I work hard, and I get things done. I feel so stunning, and I don't think I would rather be anyone else. I hope that you see that gorgeous strength in yourself too. Make sure to look from every angle because you just might find more beauty than you originally thought.

Well, I do everything possible for those around me. I believe that my purpose is to help others. I'm not religious, but when I wasn't doing well, I promised myself that I would live to help others. I tutor in Spanish and Math and I volunteer in various capacities. My favorite volunteer opportunities are bagging meals for the Million Meal Movement. I'm part of several service organizations such as NHS and SHH. While all of these mean so much to me, and they make a huge impact they aren't the most important to me. The most important things that I do for my community are my activism and my personal connections with others. It doesn't seem as though a relationship with a single person would make a difference, but I believe that it does. I have always struggled with mental health, so I have created open dialogues with people who also seem to be struggling so that they have someone to talk to. I've help dozens of others with mental health, and from my understanding, having an openness about sensitive topics creates the most tremendous change in communities. This "mom-friend" energy seems to have made a positive impact on so many lives. Something as small as a phone call or a snack to a hungry friend could mean the world to someone. As I mentioned, activism is my baby. Speaking out on topics from LGBTQ+ rights to feminism to anti racism are so important to me, and is one way to create a more welcoming environment for all. I do all that I can to help my community. I really hope that my legacy shows that difference.

I believe that getting rid of the factory-like system within education is the best way to change education to benefit students and teachers going forward. Treating students like a product in an assembly line doesn't create the skills needed by each individual. If I am lacking in a standard that we are expected to have perfected, then I am expected to move along anyways without learning the basics. This goes the other way as well, if I already understand and know all of the information necessary, I am not benefitting by sitting in a room hearing about things that I have already understood for a while. Expecting all students to learn the same way and understand concepts in the same time frame only creates a bigger divide in ability. This factory system is also present in the way school is laid out. The blank, dark halls drain the life and joy out of students. The bells are painful, and based upon the factory system. Trapped for seven and a half hours in this blankness, where I am just another product. We transition between one cinder-block room to another with the monotony of classes with the only difference being the subject. We don't build or strengthen skills. We say that we don't do busy work, but hardly anything is relevant to our futures. There is no passion. Then there's another bell, 5 chimes. I wish I had seen the sun these past few months. The adults just say, "A few months more," but it never ends. I think that the breaking down of the factory system would benefit teachers and students greatly. No two students are the same, and I wish that were better understood. We need to be treated like people. I'm a person with emotions, and my mental health is not benefitting from this system. Neither is any teacher that I've talked with. Education needs a change.

During finals week, I was studying 15 hours per day. It's not healthy, I know, but my mental health break was taking a shower. Showers are the most effective mental care that I have found for myself. I get peace and quiet and warmth that I so desperately need. It's my time to care about myself. I get myself sweet smelling body wash and nice conditioner, so that my hair is soft and I smell sweet. Being clean makes me instantly feel better because if I'm sitting there in my 2 day old clothes with greasy hair and smelling like a depressive episode, I am not going to get anything done. So, I take my warm shower and put on loose clothes and eat a snack while watching some ASMR. Sleep also makes a world of difference. I set a bedtime for myself. Even if I can't go to sleep at a reasonable time, I, at least, have a cut-off point. I'm still learning to take care of myself, but everyone needs a deep breath and a break every hour or so. If you can't take care of you, you can't take care of the work that you need to do.

I set a goal to compliment a certain amount of people per day. It's a little thing, but it makes others feel beautiful and confident. The confidence that they get is sometimes exactly the support that they need, and they will come back to me for advice and encouragement. I've been calling some of my friends a couple times per week so that they can tell me what's going on in their life, and I can encourage them to live their life to the fullest. Feelings are valid, and they all have such incredible strengths that will get them what they desire in life. Encouraging others helps me to feel more confident in myself. I always tell my friends that if they ever need anything, come to me and I'll be there. That's what they do, and last week my dearest friend, Chloe, forgot her falsies for a Choralaires dress rehearsal, so I gave her my on the go set that I got for Christmas, and we talked about her anxieties, and she had so much fun. Love and support is 80% of what everyone needs to be successful and I want to be that love and support. We all deserve that 80% to be taken care of.

I used to have a bucket list because I used to want to die. I know, it's dark. I erased what was left of it, and now we've started again with goals. I have more of them than I can count. The first one was to start loving myself, and I did. It took the first year of my quarantine to stop hate, and the second year to learn the love. I am far more confident now, and I'm still working on it. I don't have any more that I have completed yet. Right now, I'm working on taking care of myself, setting routines, and keeping calendars. I'm far too busy for how disorganized my brain is, so I need to write it down. I'm working on it, but I need to remember to set time to assign the rest of my time. I'm also finishing up my hours to get my driver's license. I can get it tomorrow, but I'm too busy and I got behind. After that, my goal is to accept my job offer, and start working at Merle Norman. After that, my goals are to move out of state and start college. I can't wait to see where I go, but I know I have a life to live, so I have to make it enjoyable.

The Arts? That's my life. A musician who plays 4 instruments and sings, is the treasurer of drama club, the lead in our next production, our makeup artist, a writer, and jewelry maker: that's a pretty full description of me. Creativity is how I live. It is my everything, my love, and my passion. My life is written in poetry and song. The rhythms are my heartbeat and the sound of my feet against the ground. Creativity is freedom. It's new, and bold. My violin sounds like a rich red, the same color as my daily bold lipstick. The sharp and precise eyeliner flicks up like a dramatic vibrato, and brings my strength for the day. I learn and adapt to the world around me constantly. I run to reduce my anxiety, I sing to memorize the words that won't stay, and I'm constantly acting to make it seem like I'm okay. The flaws become sketches in my mind, etched there, but beautiful. It feels as though my sense of self is constantly being rewritten, as I won't be good enough until I make my masterpiece. I will be my own masterpiece one day.

I feel like the song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" when I list out my hobbies. I play 4 instruments, sing, crochet, do makeup, do calligraphy, run, bake, act, and make jewelry. I wish I had time for it all, but I usually have to pick one per weekend. I started playing violin 7 years ago. It was my first instrument that I really committed to. I've had the violin that I play right now for 5 of those 7 years. It was my first love for music. I had piano lessons when I was 6 years old, but it never really stuck with my until I joined choir. I play piano to help me with my voice parts. I've been in choir for 3 years, but I've been singing for all of my life. I've picked up ukulele and kalimba in the past 2 years, and they're my real hobby instruments. I'm in a choir and an orchestra, but these two are purely for whatever I want to play. I learned to crochet a week ago, and it is my current obsession. It is so relaxing for my brain. Calligraphy was also like that, but I started 4 years ago because of my running. I'm on the cross country team and I've run 2 half marathons. The cross country girls all send eachother pretty notes, and I wanted to make mine as cute as everyone else's, so it stuck! Makeup is my passion, and hopefully, my future career which had helped a lot with acting and theatre where I have a lead role right now, and I'm designing makeup and costumes. I am also making the jewelry and I've started in the past year. I have so many that I've probably forgotten, but this is a little about me.

I would make people feel as beautiful as I see that they are for a living. I would love to be a makeup artist. I have so many passions: music, theatre, writing, crocheting, jewelry-making, but makeup is the most fulfilling for me. I have so many options open to me, but I think I can do the most good through makeup artistry. As a part of my school's theatre program, I am the lead actress in one of our shows this winter; as well as, hair, makeup, and costume director. When I do makeup on my friends for a show or just for fun, they always have the sweetest smiles once I'm done. I feel like a fairy godmother because I just helped to boost someone's confidence. I do their makeup and compliment them. It's always so fun. Whatever I do, I want to make a difference in the world around me. I want to make my artistry eco-friendly, and help my community. If I am as successful as I wish to be, I want to create housing developments for people who need housing security for free. I want to make the world beautiful too.

I have so many opinions, and anyone who knows me, knows that about me. Sure, everyone has opinions, but I will share mind openly. This openness has become almost a lifestyle that began when I started learning how to love myself. I learned that my opinions matter so much more than I would've imagined because they shape who I really am. The word commitment reminds me of a relationship, and I could never leave my loud, bright, and colorful voice behind. I may be a 5'5" feminine presenting person, but my voice is big and filled with fire. I feel strong, and steady with my beliefs. I study human rights and principles constantly, and with that comes a passion for speaking my mind. As Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, "Well behaved women seldom make history." I believe that goes for quiet women as well. The willingness to raise your voice above oppressors is so important. Speaking one's mind is what creates change and innovation. That truth shapes the future. So, speak up, and out. Also, remember, as my momma says: "The key to happiness is to not argue with stupid people." You're stronger than that, and I am too. Quieting down changes nothing.

The biggest problem that the world has been facing for the longest time is people choosing ignorance. Revolutionary change can only come with education, and empathy. When people choose to be ignorant, they take away from valuable movements that are working for change in the world around them. With education, we would have already eliminated the climate crisis, the pandemic would be over, homophobia and transphobia would be gone, and we wouldn't constantly be at war. I would have normal teenage years. I wish I got to have a normal childhood, but misinformation is spat in people's faces, and the disease continues. The hatred spreads. I don't know how to solve purposeful ignorance because it's a choice that someone else makes. I can't make someone care about those around them, or even themselves. I do the best that I can. I feel like Coronavirus brought to light the true atrocities of the world today. Even once everyone can recognize the horrors, nothing is done because of the misinformation spread about the root of the issue, saying that such issue doesn't exist, or playing down the severity of the situation. I want a normal childhood. Police brutality, sexual assault, hate crimes, coronavirus, islamaphobia, and more should not be considered a part of a normal childhood. Listen, and speak the truth.

"When you analyze your life like you analyze literature, you realize how much meaning you truly have." - Mr. Showley (AP Literature and Composition Teacher) When I say that this quote changed my life the second that I heard him say it, I mean it. I wrote it down immediately, and was going to make him a sign that says that to hang in his classroom. I have constantly fought with my mental health for years. I have struggled to find a reason to live, and that brought tears to my eyes. I am as meaningful as the poems, prose, and lyrics that I pour over, and assess every word. A single sentence could be analyzed for hours. I share that same meaning as the books that are studied over 600 years later. So, go ahead. Give yourself that love. You're worth the thousands of words that you've written and read, so see the value in the little things. There are no coincidences in a work of literature. They all have meaning, and so do your actions, words, experiences, and beliefs.

As someone with ADD, studying is one of the hardest things in the universe to do. I don't latch on to the things that I should. The only concepts that I grasp, are tangible, visual ideas. For some reason, I have always been a great test taker, but gosh, I don't hold on to any information. The only strategy that I've found that works is singing it. I can only memorize things if I sing them. I love words so much, but I need a tangible idea. If we only have words, I memorize them through singing. As an actress, I've memorized every single monologue through singing it. If I sing it through 2-3 times, it's stuck. Of course, with my memory issues, it goes pretty quickly, but I hold onto it for way longer than any traditional study method. It's the strangest study strategy I've heard, but it works. I wish I understood how it worked, so that I could use it more. Speeches and monologues have a rhythm, so do words and definitions for English. My music had consumed my life, but in the best way. It saves me academically.

Nature is the purity of life. Society is left behind, and there is no judgement. Only birds, trees, crunchy leaves, and harmony. The beautiful sounds fill the air, and it's peaceful. I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. I'm surrounded by creatures that are living the way that they are meant to. I'm not religious, but I get the feeling that I'm where I'm meant to be when I'm walking through the ravine across from my house. The squirrels chase eachother up the trees, and it's peaceful. It's this harmonious environment of life and death. The moss grows on the fallen trees, and the snails and frogs can be found inside. The coyotes call out into the night, and the foxes sprint across the lawns. The deer wander through the grass, and watch me while I watch the world around me. The bunnies hop underneath the trees, and it's peaceful. Gosh, I just want peace. The alone-ness while not being alone, the beauty of the natural world, the harmony is what draws me in. I wish I never had to leave. I want peace. I want to be the vivacious coyotes, majestic foxes, the caring deer, and the humble bunnies. Nature is the beauty of the universe, and the love letters that the world sends to us. Why do we destroy them?

Three years ago, I would've been almost dead. I was skin and bones, crying non-stop. I was falling apart, and everyone could see it, but they ignored it. Due to my struggles with mental health, I have been able to recognize signs of depleting mental health among others. The path to where I was took years for my pain to manifest that extremely, but no one cared enough to say something. I was starved, and exhausted. I thought that even if I got better, I would still have to go because everything reminded me of the darkness that consumed my mind. One day I realized, at the bottom of the pit, if I couldn't live for myself, I would live for the ones I love, and live to make change so that no one felt the way that I did. I wanted to make a difference so that no one gets that deep. My main goal is to make that difference in the lives of children struggling with mental health. Along this journey, I was radicalized. I was always an advocate and an activist, but I realized that just caring for kids wasn't going to make the impact that I thought it would. Big changes needed to be made. My family is well-off. I have never had to worry about if I would have another meal. I was purposely starving myself, with so much in front of me. I have so much potential, but I didn't grow. So, I want to create those opportunities for families and people who don't have the economic potential that I happened to be born into. I want to create sustainable housing developments out of unused buildings for those who are less fortunate than I have been. The most important part of this, for me, has been that mental health resources would be provided. Everything would be free to the residents, but mental health resources are something that is needed most by those that are unable to afford them. Now, I feel as though this treatment should be provided to all, but I want to start with those that need it most. I am uncertain of if I will ever be able to afford this dream, but I will certainly try. My relationships have prospered since this epiphany. I have been able to save several lives, and get others to therapy. I was already empathic, but noticing those signs that I ignored first in myself has made a world of difference in those around me. Now, I'm on medications, and seeing a therapist. My mom says, "Happiness is just like cookies: If you can't make your own, store bought is just fine." I'm working to strengthen my sense of self. I'm getting better, but my goals have stayed the same. I want to make a difference. I keep feeling more and more confident in me, and I can't wait to see where I go.

I want to make others feel as beautiful as I see that they are. My hobby is makeup artistry, and I'm thinking about pursuing it as a career, but it isn't super likely that I could make it on solely that income. I love experimenting with colors, glitters, eyeliner shapes, and false lashes. It's so fun to think about how I have such a beautiful canvas that I walk around with every day, and I get to fill it with my own beautiful artwork. My skin isn't perfect in any way, with my pimples, bags under my eyes, and dry skin, but I feel so much more confident knowing that it has incredible potential. Of course, my eyes are two different shapes, and my lips don't have the most defined cupid's bow, but I've gotten to learn these things about my face. No one else would notice, but I spend that time getting to know myself better. Doing my own makeup is incredibly entertaining, but doing other's makeup is so much more rewarding. My gorgeous girlfriend loves to sit at my kitchen table and have her makeup done. She just likes to sit there, and have me try new things. I have gotten to know her so much better through these occasions. She always tells me that she feels extra beautiful when I do her makeup. I always compliment my clients while I do their makeup, so I feel like they have a much more fulfilling experience. Every February, I am in the hair, makeup, and costume department for the theatre department. This year, I will be head of hair, makeup, and costume. I'm so excited for this wonderful experience. My friends are impressed with my makeup, and this is the most enjoyable experience of my year. I get to do the whole cast's makeup, and then I go on stage and act. As well as being hair, makeup, and costume director, I will be the lead in one of our four shows. All of my hobbies become combined, and it makes for the most amazing experience with my best friends in the world. That's just it, I want to be force of kindness in the world. My hobby is helping others feel beautiful through makeup. Makeup doesn't make someone beautiful, but it can help them understand that they are beautiful.

If a piece of literature can help you find a reason to live, I feel that it is a significant and inspiring piece of literature. For me, that book was "Looking For Alaska" by John Green. The story deals with very heavy subjects, and happens to be based upon real events. When I read this book, I was in one of the darkest places in my life. I related so heavily to Alaska Young, but instead of smoking and drinking, it was not eating and other self-destructive behavior. I was in pain, dizzy, and I wanted to die. I didn't realize my self-destructive behavior was connected to my suicidal ideation. I started putting in an effort to take care of myself. I started to see the beauty in myself the way that Pudge saw the beauty in Alaska Young. She was an adventure. I wanted the beauty and adventure, but I wanted to live through it. I want to cherish it. I began to read more, and develop my life's library. I found books that spoke to me on a level that I cannot comprehend. The tragedy of this book brought out a desire in me to keep living. I just wish that I could say thank you. I've read hundreds upon hundreds of books. Mrs. Buckley, the middle school librarian, used to save books for me to read because I read everything. Out of all of those books, that is the only book that I have read multiple times. Each time I read it, there's a new spark in me. I have become a hurricane. I want to live. I love myself because of Alaska Young. I am who I am because of her. I am never hopeless because I am never irreparably broken.

I'm an activist in my community for women, lgbtq+, and bipoc rights. Being in theatre, I get to meet the most diverse people at my school through my passions. I was raised to be a feminist by my mom and grandfather, who taught her. I just have wonderful friends from all different backgrounds. Zionsville is a very affluent place, but I have had the opportunity to experience different cultures, and I've been embraced as a queer person. My step mom is from Costa Rica, so I have had the opportunity of practicing my Spanish with her family, and learning about Costa Rica culture as a whole, as well as her experience as an immigrant. I feel as though I have a wide view of the world around me, even though I live in a bubble. I am planning more, and by this time next year, I hope to have specific events that I have planned. My activism is small, but I speak out as much as I possibly can. I've led a lot of discussions in relation to equality, and transforming Zionsville to be a more accepting community. I fight for myself and I try to amplify the voices of those that are quieter. I want to become a makeup artist to make everyone feel as beautiful as I see that they are. I know that makeup artistry had been very exclusive, but it's my goal to transform that. I want to be successful enough to create a sustainable housing development for low income families to live in for free when they are trying to get back on their feet. Equality is so important to me, and it comes with opportunity. I hope that I will be able to provide those opportunities for those around me.

My goals for the future are as follows: Live life to the fullest, spread love, eat 3 meals per day, and make a difference that people 100 years from now will see, and appreciate. Those are very broad goals, some being cliché, but I feel that, as I grow, their exact definition will fall into place. The most important question is, how does one define success? If I reach my goals, am I successful? I'm not sure. Success, to me, in this life, is making a difference in the lives of less fortunate individuals. My goal is to create generational wealth in families who have never had that. My dream is to create a makeup studio where I can help people feel beautiful in their skin. If that takes off, I would like to take them money to develop an eco-friendly living space for those in need with transportation, food, education, clothing, and anything anyone would need to get back on their feet. I want to provide opportunity that I have been blessed to have, to others. If I can make that difference, I would consider myself truly successful. If it comes to the end of my life, and all I have done is foster teens, and then help them through college, I would still consider myself successful. I want to provide opportunity. I want to create love, a space for those who need support, and make it friendly for the environment. My fullest life is helping everyone who has ever needed it. I'm doing my best to get there.

Hello darling accomplices! I made a list of ungendered terms, and accomplices is currently my favorite. I love to make an entrance. That's why, to start the year off right, I dressed up like a fairy princess. What is a fairy princess without their cat? Fun fact about me: I have six cats! Another fun fact: I play 3 instruments and sing! Disney princesses can sing to animals, but I can sing to my cats and play 3 instruments. I want to be a Belle, but my red hair always makes me Ariel. I hope I never lose my sparkle!

I hope that through my mentorship, my siblings, friends, and kids that I babysit, are able to better understand self-love. I hope that they are able to love and understand more people's experiences through meeting me, and spread that love to those that they mentor. I hope they have a passion to learn more about the small things that I have taught them. I hope that they always stand up for what is right and true. I hope that they are never alone, and that they never let anyone else feel completely alone. I hope that they take care of themselves. "If you don't have the energy to make a sandwich, eat the meat and bread separately. Just, please eat." You are strong, so use that strength for good. Your voice is the most powerful thing that you have, so use it. Keep using it until it's almost gone. I hope my siblings take care of their friends in the way that I raised them. They are loved.

I didn't realize at first, that denying my hunger was harmful. I was right on track, but from 5th grade through 10th grade I didn't gain weight. At the end of my Sophomore year, I was 5'5" and 90 lbs. I was dizzy, tired, had an irregular heartbeat, and I hurt. I'm a cross country runner, and I could hardly keep going. At the beginning of Sophomore year, I realized what I was doing to myself. Skipping meals, denying hunger, and just hurting myself. It wasn't purposeful. I didn't have time to focus on it until the very end. At the end of the school year, I set a goal: by the end of the summer, I want to be up by 15 lbs. I came back in the fall, at a solid 107 lbs. I was successful. I'm still recovering, but when I went to the doctor 2 days ago, I was up to 112 lbs. My eating disorder, my inability to eat for years and years hurt me so much. Physically and mentally, I tore myself to the ground. I am trying to relearn what hunger feels like. I used to pass out in the shower, but I have made a rule that I have to eat before I take a shower. I'm getting stronger, my body is filling out the way it should, and I feel so much prettier. I wasn't trying to be a skinny stick, I think it was just a form of self harm. I plan on using these experiences to try to sense when someone is going through the same thing. I always carry around food with me and offer it to those around me. I talk about my experiences when asked, with the intention to reduce stigma. I talk a lot about self-love. Loving yourself is so important. Your body is asking for food, so give it some. It needs it to power your brain, because you're smart. It needs food to power your muscles so that you can so activities. It needs food so that your body can fill the way that it needs so that you can be the curvy, healthy, beautiful person that your body needs. I am slightly afraid of relapsing during college, but with the amount of strength that I have built up, my goal is to eat with people I care about so that I'm not alone, and neither are they. My weakness is being alone at a table because without someone else, I feel as though I don't need to hold myself accountable for eating. I think that the freedom to eat whatever I want will help a lot, and I want to make dinners for friends so that no one is hungry. Care and companionship is how I combat eating disorders.

I think that the most practical solution for going forward, is more professional support. The support needs to begin earlier, and the care needs to be genuine. If I had someone reach out to me in middle school, I would be so much better than I am now. My spiral began in 5th grade, but no one noticed. It got significantly worse starting in 7th grade and it spiraled. Once I got to highschool, they talked about it, but it didn't seem genuine. I was alone, so I almost took my own life. Now, it seems tragic, but right then, it seemed like the only option. I eventually got diagnosed and treated after a 6 month wait from my complete breakdown, to when I got treatment. I am now here to speak up for myself and those around me who need that support, but are too scared to ask. I'm a shoulder to cry on, and the support that I wish I had when I needed it. I reach out to my friends as often as possible, and try to be a light of positivity, truth, and love. To past me: You are never alone. I love you. You're so strong. You woke up today, and everything else is bonus points. Go get something to eat and drink some water. Stay strong, love. I'm proud of you.

I survived. I didn't think I would. I was drowning in my own thoughts, and there was no one there to pull me up. My mom said I had to wait until the doctor had an opening in 2 months, or I had to go to the hospital. I just wanted to die. I didn't. I set a calendar. I counted down the days. I survived. Barely, but I survived. It's so strange that the very thing that was killing me was the same thing that told me blood to pump through me, tells my muscles how to move, and controls me. My own brain said I was done. Poor mental health is terrifying, but I made it. It ended up being over 6 months until I was able to go to the doctor to become medicated. I counted down the days between appointments. Therapy weekly, 6 months out is the psychiatrist appointment. It was a miracle. Today, I'm slowly getting better. I fall every once in a while, but the water around me is more like a bathtub, rather than an ocean. I can stand up. I stand up for myself. I put in effort to make sure than no one is as alone as I was. Everyone has somewhere to go, and someone who loves them, someone that they can't leave here. I am stronger.

Joy is a little sparkle. You see it all around. Sometimes, the light is dimmer, so there's less sparkle, but it will always come back. Joy, to me, is best when it's shared. My most recent joyful moment was my reunion with my girlfriend after a month apart. Her eyes are so sparkly and warm. Her beautiful smile makes me so happy. I seek out joy by providing it to others. She is trans, and one of the best ways to help her feel comfortable is to do her makeup. I love doing makeup, and it is what I would love to pursue. That joy that I share with her is 1000 times more powerful than anything I could experience on my own. When I work in my best friend's mom's store, I get that little sparkle, and it is only amplified by Mrs. Poland and the wonderful ladies that work there or the customers that feel beautiful after having their makeup done. My joy comes through helping those around me. Empathy is, what I believe to be, my greatest strength, and I'm so glad to have that experience with the joy of others. I just hope I never lose my sparkle.

Change is a constant, and I would like to believe that my inability to adapt to change is as well. I settle into a rhythm and I must stick with it. Being a musician, I feel that rhythm running through my body, and with one off beat, I'm sent spiraling. Change and I had our first wrong note when I was moving after preschool. All of the scenery that grew up to, was gone, and I was thrust into First Grade. The transition to middle school wasn't too bad until, 4 months in, my parents got divorced. My world flipped on its head, and at the age of 9, I fulfilled all of the duties of a parent. Sure, my dad didn't know how to adapt to this change, but 9 year old me did. Our most recent tango was when quarantine began. I already had steadily been getting mentally worse, until my strings finally snapped. Therapy began and I healed. I became different, stronger, more caring for myself. The new strings put were put on; they sound beautiful, but different. I am more self-centered, but in the healthy way. I know how to stand up for myself, project, and love others the way that I needed love. I know how to raise kids, so I teach my siblings what I wish I knew when I were their age. I'm stronger than I began. My rhythms are rewritten, a adaptation of myself to best fit my environment. I hope that those around me feel my love for them. My hope is that kids don't have to snap for those new strings, and that they can just become upgraded when the time comes. My future goal is to make others feel beautiful and loved because I needed that.