I have struggled with mental health since childhood. I was in and out of therapy in the years following due to a variety of different issues. I had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that was the right fit for me at the time and I was still in the midst of many traumas that I wasn’t fully prepared to unpack. I was constantly being bombarded with intense emotional stressors while trying to navigate the normal highs and lows of adolescence. My parents were absorbed in their own lives and offered little to no support. I often wonder how my outlook might have been different had I been able to consistently seek counseling sooner. I now see a therapist who is incredible. In just a handful of sessions, my outlook has improved greatly. While I was feeling abject with my current trajectory, the change in beginning my master’s program has given me new breath. Beginning again with therapy was the final push I needed to pursue my master’s in counseling. Every person that knows me and hears what I am going to school for tells me that I am going to be great at it and it is such a great fit for me. I am excited for the future and the change that I can bring about. While I would not wish to relive my experiences, I am thankful for them. The real life impact of these difficulties is truly impossible to imagine. Where I was once only capable of sympathy before, I am now able to feel true, deep empathy. And I do. I feel truly and deeply. I try at every opportunity to practice radical kindness. It is so easy to forget that some people wear their hardships well and the smallest act of kindness is all it takes to help someone keep their head afloat. I strive to be the kind of person I needed most in my early teenage years because I understand how navigating the ocean of teenage struggles can feel impossible when these further traumas are added to it. When I was amid these woes, I couldn’t imagine a happy future. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a future at all. Now, I can envision a life where I am happy and, more importantly, a life I want to be a part of. I want to be able to provide that light and hope to others in need. I want to be kind not in spite of hardship but because of it.

The biggest inspiration for me to pursue a career in the mental health field is the impact mental health has had on my own experience. While much has changed since my childhood, I struggled with a variety of intense stressors. The support that I received during this time was critical in allowing me to continue living. Remembering how hopeless and lost I felt motivates me to be a source of peace for others. My own journey allows me to remind myself that what others share openly is not all that they are experiencing. Oftentimes, little is said about the most difficult hardships and people will struggle in silence until it all boils over. My first experience with mental health was my first experience with a therapist following my parents’ divorce. I saw this therapist only briefly before my parents stopped taking me. I was in and out of therapy in the years following due to a variety of different issues. I had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that was the right fit for me at the time and I was still in the midst of many traumas that I wasn’t fully prepared to unpack. I was constantly being bombarded with intense emotional stressors while trying to navigate the normal highs and lows of adolescence. My parents were absorbed in their own lives and offered little to no support. I find my solace in academics. I would arrive at school as early as I was able and stay as late as I could as well. I performed well in all of my classes with minimal effort. The attention that I received in respect to academics was the only time I felt appreciated and affirmed. Despite having a small circle of friends and faculty that supported me, I felt isolated and misunderstood. It wasn’t normal lunch conversations to talk about everything going on at home. During this time, I was also an intensely anxious individual. My homeroom teacher in high school was my saving grace. I would sit in his room while waiting for the bus that came about 20 minutes after school ended. The bus fare was a dollar and some change, and my mother would only ever give me a dollar. Every day, I would have to ask him for the change to make the fare. As I spent the time sitting in his room, we would talk about various things. The years went on and I felt more comfortable to share how difficult my home life had become. I had stopped going to my father's house because he was uncompromising and prone to explosive outbursts. Staying at my mother's had proved equally as difficult. She was often absent - neither in the house when I woke up nor when I returned home from school. If she was home, she would be asleep. The utilities were shut off one by one until I was living in a home with no electricity or running water. I remember crying, sitting on a desk, as I spoke about my difficulty in making my decision to move in with my father. Having someone who would simply listen to me was everything to me. I felt abandoned by my family, the people who are meant to love you unconditionally and support you relentlessly. Having just one person in my life who would sit with me and let me cry without judgment made all the difference in the world. At the time, I was not able to recognize the significance of these moments. They felt like holding onto the wreckage of a ship amidst a stormy sea; I was just barely keeping my head above water. I went to a college preparatory high school so attending college was a nonthought. I was uncertain of where I wanted to go, what I wanted to study, or if I'd be able to afford it. I had no time to consider these things when my other woes permeated my mind. I was a chronically high achiever, top percentiles in testing and in class rank, but I felt as if my lacking extracurriculars would bar me from attending any prestigious school. To prevent the disappointment and potential rejection, I applied only to two schools - one local and one state school. I was accepted to both with honors and decided to attend the local school with a hefty scholarship. My struggles did not cease in my collegiate years. Over the summer prior to my freshman year, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She declined rapidly and passed away. She and I were not terribly close but the impact on my family was great. Her death was easier for me to accept as she had lived a full life. It was certainly sad and caused some grief but there was peace in knowing that she was no longer suffering. In fall of my sophomore year, my sister gave birth to a boy – my first nephew. She had had my niece as few years prior. When he was three months old, he fell from my sister’s bed. This was enough to cause a significant brain injury. He was taken to the Pittsburgh Children's Hospital, about 2 hours from where I live, and intubated. The outlook was not bright and after about a week of grieving, discussing, and biding time, my sister and her fiancé made the decision to take him off life support. My nephew’s death began a downward spiral for my sister who had a history of addiction. I tried to be supportive, but I was in no place to offer support. I was balancing full-time education as well as a near full-time work schedule. I also involved myself in theatrical productions. I kept myself so busy that I had no time to stray from my packed schedule or to even think about anything else. A few days after Christmas the following year, my sister passed away due to an overdose. I had seen many different therapists since the beginning of adolescence. When I was reliant on others, it was difficult to attend sessions. When I was able to bring myself to sessions, I found the financial element burdensome. I often wonder how my outlook might have been different had I been able to consistently seek counseling sooner. I now see a therapist who is incredible. In just a handful of sessions, my outlook has improved greatly. While I was feeling abject with my current trajectory, the change in beginning my master’s program has given me new breath. Beginning again with therapy was the final push I needed to pursue my master’s in counseling. Every person that knows me and hears what I am going to school for tells me that I am going to be great at it and it is such a great fit for me. I am excited for the future and the change that I can bring about. My hardships, while undoubtedly difficult, have made me the person that I am today and they have given me a perspective that allows me to be empathetic, kind, and passionate. I am motivated by helping others achieve their fullest potential and providing support where it may be lacking. Even in my current profession, the piece of my work that gives me the most satisfaction is helping others grow and develop. Watching someone's confidence increase and their skillset expand is one of the most exciting experiences for me. While I would not wish to relive my experiences, I am thankful for them. The real life impact of these difficulties is truly impossible to imagine. Where I was once only capable of sympathy before, I am now able to feel true, deep empathy. And I do. I feel truly and deeply. I try at every opportunity to practice radical kindness. It is so easy to forget that some people wear their hardships well and the smallest act of kindness is all it takes to help someone keep their head afloat. For me, all it took was a quarter and a listening ear. I strive to be the kind of person I needed most in my early teenage years because I understand how navigating the ocean of teenage struggles can feel impossible when these further traumas are added to it. When I was amid these woes, I couldn’t imagine a happy future. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a future at all. Now, I can envision a life where I am happy and, more importantly, a life I want to be a part of. I want to be able to provide that light and hope to others in need. I want to be kind not in spite of hardship but because of it.

My personal mental health struggles have greatly influenced my worldview. I was in and out of therapy since early adolescence following my parent’s divorce. I had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that was the right fit for me at the time and I was still in the midst of many traumas that I wasn’t fully prepared to unpack. I was constantly being bombarded with intense emotional stressors while trying to navigate the normal highs and lows of adolescence. Additionally, I suffered a series of losses during my college education - my grandmother to breast cancer, my infant nephew to an accidental brain injury, and my sister to addiction. I had great difficulty in finding support while I struggled silently and tried to navigate these hardships on my own. Now that I’ve had some time to separate myself from my grief and my trauma, therapy has been an invaluable tool in discovering who I am and what I want out of life. Connecting with someone empathetic, nonjudgemental, and related to my story has allowed me to become comfortable in exploring who I am and discussing the hardships I have encountered. This experience has brought me to the conclusion that I need to pursue a career in therapy. My hardships, while undoubtedly difficult, have made me the person that I am today and they have given me a perspective that allows me to be empathetic, kind, and passionate. I am motivated by helping others achieve their fullest potential and providing support where it may be lacking. Even in my current profession, the piece of my work that gives me the most satisfaction is helping others grow and develop. Watching someone's confidence increase and their skillset expand is one of the most exciting experiences for me. I strive to be the kind of person I needed most in my early teenage years because I understand how navigating the ocean of teenage struggles can feel impossible when these further traumas are added to it. When I was amid these woes, I couldn’t imagine a happy future. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a future at all. Now, I can envision a life where I am happy and, more importantly, a life I want to be a part of. I want to be able to provide that light and hope to others in need. I want to be kind not in spite of hardship but because of it.

I have firsthand experience with the importance of therapy and how it can vastly improve an individual’s outlook and life as a whole. I was in and out of therapy since early adolescence following my parent’s divorce. I had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that was the right fit for me at the time and I was still in the midst of many traumas that I wasn’t fully prepared to unpack. From financial problems on my mother’s side to emotional abuse on my father’s side, I was constantly being bombarded with intense emotional stressors while trying to navigate the normal high and lows of adolescence. Additionally, I suffered a series of losses during my college education - my grandmother to breast cancer, my infant nephew to an accidental brain injury, and my sister to addiction. Now that I’ve had some time to separate myself from my grief and my trauma, therapy has been an invaluable tool in discovering who I am and what I want out of life. Connecting with a therapist who is empathetic and relates to my story has allowed me to become comfortable in exploring who I am and discussing the hardships I have encounter. This experience has brought me to the conclusion that I need to pursue a career in therapy. My hardships, while undoubtedly difficult, have made me the person that I am today and they have given me a perspective that allows me to be empathetic, kind, and passionate. I am motivated by helping others achieve their fullest potential and providing support where it may be lacking. Even in my current profession, the piece of work that gives me the most satisfaction is helping others grow and develop. I strive to be the kind of person I needed most in my early teenage years because I understand how navigating the ocean of teenage struggles can feel impossible when these further traumas are added to it. When I was in the midst of these woes, I couldn’t imagine a happy future. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a future at all. Now, I can envision a life where I am happy and, more importantly, a life I want to be a part of. I want to be able to provide that light and hope to others in need. While it takes time, patience, and work, it becomes a lot easier with support at your side.