I am a seventeen-year-old black girl who suffers from manic depression and social anxiety. Ever since the age of eight, I noticed that I would get very excited and dance and sing and feel complete happiness, and then all of a sudden, I would crash. I would feel depressed and gloomy, and neither of my parents seemed to notice. There is a stigma in the black community that black people cannot be mentally ill. My family sadly believed this lie in the early stages of my childhood. It took me going to a mental hospital for them to even consider the validity of mental health. During my sophomore year of high school, I voluntarily admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital for severe depression, and sadly, it was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made. I did not gain any tools to help cope with my illnesses and didn’t even speak to a therapist during my stay. When I first arrived at the hospital, I was terrified. I met other teenagers of color who were struggling just like me. There were fights, both physical and verbal, multiple times a day. After these incidents happened, none of the patients met with a therapist or even talked about what happened. Everyone just moved on. My father would often visit me and tell me how I broke up his family and hurt my loved ones by being, as he said, “self-centered.” The one lesson I did learn from my time at this mental hospital is, you can only be helped if you decide to help yourself. This realization completely changed how I thought about my illnesses. Hearing my father lay a guilt trip on me, forced me to stop relying on my family members to be of service to my mental health. It suddenly became clear to me that if I wanted to escape these dark thoughts, I had to take the first steps on my own. The day I arrived home, I found the nearest black, female therapist in my area, and I booked an appointment with her for the following week. During our first discussion, I could immediately tell that she was genuinely interested in my story and wanted to help me. She provided me with a new outlook on life from a perspective that was similar to mine. I am currently still seeing her, and the state of my mental health has improved drastically. I still struggle every once and a while but changing my mindset changed how I cope with these illnesses. I process my emotions and deal with manic episodes healthily by using coping skills I learned from both my therapist and doing my own research. I’ve learned how to step away from stressful situations and protect my own wellbeing, along with how to stop overexerting myself. Although my time at the hospital was one of the worst experiences, it gave me new ideas and taught me lessons that I will carry for the rest of my life.

The American Psychological Association states, “In 2015, 86 percent of psychologists in the U.S. workforce were white, 5 percent were Asian, 5 percent were Hispanic, 4 percent were black/African-American and 1 percent were multiracial or from other racial/ethnic groups.” I believe that attending Howard University will be my first step towards changing this statistic. At Howard, I look forward to pursuing a degree in Psychology and meeting more people of color that have similar goals to mine. I believe that my calling is to shed a light on the mental health needs of young people of color. It is difficult enough to overcome mental illnesses as a person graced with privilege but as a double minority, it has been difficult for reasons outside of my control. The first way that I am working towards my cause by furthering my education to become a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist has played a pivotal role in the improvement of my mental health and I dream of providing this help to young people in the future. I have firsthand experience with coping with depression in a black household, so I plan to use my negative experiences to help a young black person in the future. I understand that many mental illnesses stem from ideas children are taught in their households. Keeping this knowledge in mind, I try to break as many negative stigmas as I can in my own household. I attend Apex High school which is a predominantly white high school. Inclusivity is often not a priority there. One lesson that I’ve taken from is that if classrooms aren’t inclusive and people do not feel welcome, they will not reach their full potential. Many students of color sell themselves short because they do not feel comfortable in the predominately white, more advanced classes. They would rather take an easy class with people of color, instead of a challenging class in a space that they don’t feel welcome. As the president of the Equity Team, I work with my teachers so they can diversify their classrooms. My focus on inclusivity has sparked my interest in many of the clubs at Howard such as, Transitioners and Naturals Growing, Learning and Educating Students (TANGLES), and Coalition of Activist Students Celebrating the Acceptance of Diversity and Equality (CASCADE). These organizations will help me encourage myself and my fellow students to be comfortable in their own skin. I believe that it is important for all people to feel welcome no matter their appearance, gender, or sexual orientation. As a young black woman, I’ve learned that having integrity is important to create opportunities for yourself. While working at my first job, I learned that people often make false promises. My coworkers would often lie to our manager to get on their good side. It was difficult for me to understand at first, but I realized that my coworkers’ actions were a display of their lack of integrity in their jobs. This experience taught me that integrity is something that people cannot falsify. At Howard, I will fulfill some of my many hopes and dreams. I will uplift my peers and inspire them to be themselves. I will start a new path and learn valuable lessons that I will carry with me forever. My integrity and open-mindedness have helped me through life and will help me become a knowledgeable psychiatrist in the future. With the help of an illustrious HBCU like Howard University, I can become the psychiatrist that is needed to improve the mental health disparities in the black community.