Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to be a pharmacist. I looked up to the women I would see at the counter when we would get our medications, in hospital and community pharmacy settings. In the last few years, I have grown passionate about Alzheimer's disease, and I hope to be a part of the research team that finds a cure for the illness. Looking up to women in the field that are constantly setting the bar for young women everywhere in the industry, I especially am inspired and motivated by Dr. Reisa Sperling. Sperling is a renowned professor at Harvard Medical school and is the director of groundbreaking Alzheimer's research at multiple hospitals and research facilities. She is a pioneer in the field and mentors other women who are also dedicating their lives to the science of dementia. As a professional and a woman in STEM, she goes beyond boundaries set by the patriarchy that is in the STEM field. She inspires me to push myself forward in the world of medicine and ignites my passion for Alzheimer's research constantly. I hope to get my Pharm. D and a Ph.D. in Molecular Pharmaneurocology after completing my undergrad work in pre-pharmacy studies and neuroscience. I love to learn and my curiosity to explore what's available around the world, what studies have been done, and all the journals that come out about different approaches and perspectives on the treatment that can be put in place for those affected. I hope to be able to travel the world and work together with individuals that share the same passions I do and empower the next generation of young girls to do the same, as these women have done for me. Studying pharmacology and neuroscience will prepare me for a successful career in research, as it connects my passion for medicine and curiosity of the brain together. Having both of these will give me a broader perspective on the disease, understanding more about Alzheimer's so I have a better chance of figuring out different treatments and a possible cure.

In my junior year of high school, there was an opportunity to be the Junior Representative of our school's Board of Education. Students interested had to create a statement to then say on a recording for our school to play (this way everyone could see each other's "mission statement" and then vote). I was very excited about this role and wanted to make some change for my peers. Only three students came forward for the role, which in most situations would be a good thing, but when you are up against the most popular football player at your school, the doubt washed over me that I had any possibility of winning. I quickly understood that this was no longer an election but a contest, based on popularity. I worked tirelessly on making my own advertising, including flyers, posters, and a ton of media adverts to post on social media and have others share around. I did not have the heart to be overly aggressive towards my opponents, helping the other girl that was running make her flyer and even going and proof-reading the football player's statement. He did not even have a statement to say, only being reminded by me an hour before recording. I could have easily let him sink and drown, but I knew I could not live with that guilt, how could I push positive energy in our school when sabotaging my own opponent? In reality, politics is a very sketchy world of hatred and climbing to the top (and stepping on others to get there), and I knew that, but I had no interest in making that my success story. After posting my social media advertisements, he quickly made some to post as well, clearly being done poorly and just to get up to challenge mine, and I knew that is when the downfall I was already slipping towards became exponential. The popularity started to show, as his adverts drowned out my own, his multiple groups of friends posting them and sharing them with their own circles, and so on. Voting day was a massacre. Sure, I had votes from close friends and people that I knew liked my message better, but it did not help the fact it became a joke that I was running, kids coming up to me just to say "I am voting for [him] today". It hurt to hear that multiple times going through my classes, but nonetheless, I stayed hopeful. At the end of the day, it was announced that he had won, and everyone in my English class was either cheering for him and then poking fun at the fact I thought I would have won, or were nice about the situation and assured me I would have been the better choice. I will not lie, I saw it coming. Being hopeful and oblivious are two different things. I congratulated my opponents on social media and wished him luck on the board. That loss showed me a lot about how society works, and the reality of politics. However, this is just high school. Coming back after that weekend was rough, not hearing the end of it from my opponent's "fanbase" until the whole thing finally blew over and new drama was the highlight of the school population's attention. After that loss, I moved on to better things, taking up positions in school clubs my high school offers. Right now I am the president of our H.O.P.E. (Helping Other People Everywhere) club, a community service-based organization that I love to work in. I also have other leadership positions in a multitude of clubs at our school, taking the time I would have lost due to board meetings and planning and using it for other extracurriculars that I am passionate about. Being a part of my school's student senate, yearbook, and journalism club, and F.B.L.A. chapter has been an amazing experience and if I could change the outcome of that election, I don't think I would. The things I have learned on this journey have benefited me in so many ways, and I am a person who believes that everything happens for a reason (even if it does not seem to make sense or be a good thing at the time!).

Starting to play lacrosse in 5th grade, I have played through our middle school modified team, our high school junior varsity (awarded captain), and varsity teams. When we are off school season, I take part in our Lady Raider indoor team that plays year-round and participate in tournaments with my teammates. I have coached youth teams and my old modified team (anew coach was hired, he needed some help to fully understand the differences, details, and plays that are in girls' lacrosse compared to boys lacrosse). Coaching helped them and myself as I was learning the sport again from a different perspective. Bringing the girls together was my main focus, trying to build up confidence in more timid players and create a better bond between them so they could feel and play like a family rather than strictly being a lacrosse team. Pulling those same ideals onto my team, I try to lead by example that it is normal and okay to make mistakes and grow from them, on and off the field. Lacrosse has been a pivotal part of my physically active career so far. Training with my team off the field, I developed a love for working out, pushing my body to its limits, and growing stronger physically but also mentally. Helping our trainer lead our workouts is something I love doing, introducing some fun into what most of the team dreads. Through music that we all dance to or making everyone laugh while we are on water breaks, I try my hardest to keep everyone motivated to push through the sessions. With COVID-19, it has been a challenge for all sports to get together and play, but I have taken this time to better myself through personal training while we wait for (and hopefully have) our upcoming season this spring. Building my own at-home workout schedule has been a great way to build self-discipline, not relying on someone else to keep me in check. I have learned so much about how to eat a healthy diet and work out successfully with the limited resources I own. These habits I am building are going to benefit me for my future time away in college, when I am not going to be on a lacrosse team anymore.

I am and have always been, a very ambitious, goal-oriented person. It is very important for me to always have goals and ideas for my future, as they motivate me to continue working hard and complete those objectives. It started when I was seven years old, sitting in my mother’s car, explaining how I wanted to be a Pharmacist. That desire has stuck with me for the past ten years. Everything I do academically and even outside of the classroom has shaped that goal over the years, however, the central point has stayed the same. Many are bewildered by my determination and persistence over the years, how could I stick with something for so long? I think that for myself to be successful, I have to have a plan and vision for my future, to keep myself on track and eliminate distractions. That led me to find the Allied Health New Visions program and its amazing opportunities including college courses and clinical rotations to enhance our academic experience. My dreams for the future include attending the highly ranked University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill; applying for the very prestigious Morehead Cain Scholarship to "challenge [my]self -- and discover extraordinary in the process" of enhancing my college experience. On top of this, I wish to be majoring in Neuroscience. While I have always wanted to be a pharmacist, my dreams have been shaped and molded by my experience dealing with different neurological diseases around me. Alzheimer's disease has become a strong part of my interests, as well as my plan for the future. My passion to help others has been intensified with my new found curiosity in the disease and how I can one day be a part of the research to cure it. After finishing my undergrad, I want to get my Pharm. D and Ph.D. in Molecular Neuropharmacology to move into researching Alzheimer's full time. Education has always been something that means the world to me, my love of learning and curiosity always being something I take pride in. There is always something new to learn, and way to better yourself in this world, where education and knowledge gets you far.

Quarantine has brought many challenges into our field of view that no one saw coming. For me, it meant giving up the last portion of my junior year, and now the entirety of my senior year (as it is looking from this point in time). Missing junior prom, senior dinner dance, our last homecoming and spirit week, and our senior nights for sports has been unfortunate, but it makes us appreciate the little time we do get to spend together each week. We get to spend only a couple of days in person, all split up into groups and social distanced to ensure everyone's safety. This meant no extracurriculars, no fall play and spring musical, and no community service work either that we were allowed to do. Before COVID, I had planned to dive into more projects that aligned with my creative passions, including Project Linus (providing homemade blankets to children in need), Little Dresses for Africa (homemade dresses, shorts, and cloth menstrual pads for children and teens), working with a local homeless shelter to create care kits, homemade blankets, and mural work in the buildings to spread positivity. Murals I designed for my school were put on pause and then canceled, which was devastating after all the hours my team put in, excitement slowly fading as our plans began to crumble. This year, I am not able to continue all of my clinical rotations in my New Vision Program, taking all the classes at my home school that I had scheduled, and all of our normal senior year activities. However; I realize having an optimistic mindset is the only way that we can move forward, appreciating, and being thankful for all the hard work so many people have put in to try and adapt to our current situation as best as possible. Self-isolation has brought me some good, it gave me time to fully assess myself mentally and get to the root of my traumas and anxiety I had been too busy to address before. Having the time to pick apart and go through all the pieces, I saw what makes me, me. I got into a good at-home workout schedule that helped me make up for the lacrosse seasons I was missing. Learning how to meditate properly and practice mindfulness made me realize that I needed to spend more time for myself in order to balance out the stress. Journaling was a good way to see how far I've come during this journey and also document my experience of COVID to look back on. Analyzing my strengths and weaknesses, I slowly built myself back together like a puzzle. I am grateful for that period of self-realization because it gave me a list of things to better myself. We are still in these crazy times, but I've learned that (especially in my generation of kids) we can overcome a lot, even if we at first doubt everything to no end. I find it interesting how good we are able to adapt, and really appreciate what we do have after losing so much, some more than others. Despite the hardship we are facing, we will come out stronger in the end, our generation growing more mature through this difficult time.

“What the hell was that?” I choked out into the air, my breathing uneven and choppy, my voice sounding distant and not my own. Those words echoed through my empty bedroom, bouncing off the walls that finally crumbled around me mentally. My head pounded and I could hear ringing in my ears from collapsing onto my scratchy carpet minutes prior, too weak to grab the phone that lay inches from me and dial 9-1-1. I had been drowning in my head for months, and now my body had finally caught up. I started to seize, and every breath was a battle. All of the oxygen felt depleted at that moment, and it seemed like I was fighting for my life. 17 minutes. My focus on my overturned alarm clock was the only thing that had brought me back to reality. As the clock ticked in a rhythmic pattern, I fell into a state of hypnosis, the calm and serene sounds of the forest coming through my windows contrasted heavily to the harsh acceptance of memories (and lack thereof) from my traumatic childhood due to my immature, young biological parents. My tears soaked the carpet as I swam alone in the open ocean of my thoughts. Thrashing against the waves around me, I dove into my earliest memories, fearful and paranoid that I would be sucked too deeply into the water, never being able to surface. However; I noticed I was fearing the wrong thing all along. It’s not the water itself, but rather what’s in the water that petrified me to no end. Treading through the ink colored water, I felt the pain in my chest, my oxygen supply running out. I frantically whipped my head around, hoping, praying for an escape. Sometimes good memories flow past me in the most alluring and enticing way possible, like sirens singing heavenly harmonies. But nothing ever comes that easily, as when I allow myself to accept the complete memory, their harmonies turn ugly. Just before I lose all hope and strength, the distant calling of my name echoes through the endless void. The sound vibrates through the water, hitting my ears and bringing me back to wherever I was before the attack. After those treacherous 17 minutes of struggling through my first panic attack, I realized that not everyone has someone to pull them out of the water when they start to “drown”. For those with Alzheimer’s disease, grasping reality is a daily struggle that gradually gets worse due to their loss of memory. Struggling with my corrupted memories, I resonate with that detrimental feeling of panic when certain recollections become murky and start to fade away. Reaching out and grabbing all the pieces that start to slip away, while also trying desperately to fight off the false memories no matter how hard they try to tempt you… it’s exhausting. Eventually, as the degeneration continues, patients can lose their ability to function properly. As they sink beneath the surface, into the depths of their unknown, they begin to drown without ever having the peace of sanity, feeling completely alone and abandoned at sea. Since I was in first grade, I knew I wanted to be a pharmacist, and the last ten years have brought me a lot of insight. After having multiple relatives pass away from Alzheimer’s, I have gained first-hand experience from pharmacists that have worked with our family and completed personal research and self-study on neurodegenerative diseases and medicines. Going into pharmacology and neuroscience will help me to find a cure for the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. Like a lighthouse, wishing to help those drowning patients, I will be the beacon of light that shines on the ocean waves, giving them the courage to triumph over their fears of uncertainty, and giving them hope when all seems lost.

“What the hell was that?” I choked out into the air, my breathing uneven and choppy, my voice sounding distant and not my own. Those words echoed through my empty bedroom, bouncing off the walls that finally crumbled around me mentally. My head pounded and I could hear ringing in my ears from collapsing onto my scratchy carpet minutes prior, too weak to grab the phone that lay inches from me and dial 9-1-1. I had been drowning in my head for months, and now my body had finally caught up. I started to seize, and every breath was a battle. All of the oxygen felt depleted at that moment, and it seemed like I was fighting for my life. 17 minutes. My focus on my overturned alarm clock was the only thing that had brought me back to reality. As the clock ticked in a rhythmic pattern, I fell into a state of hypnosis, the calm and serene sounds of the forest coming through my windows contrasted heavily to the harsh acceptance of memories (and lack thereof) from my traumatic childhood due to my immature, young biological parents. My tears soaked the carpet as I swam alone in the open ocean of my thoughts. Thrashing against the waves around me, I dove into my earliest memories, fearful and paranoid that I would be sucked too deeply into the water, never being able to surface. However; I noticed I was fearing the wrong thing all along. It’s not the water itself, but rather what’s in the water that petrified me to no end. Treading through the ink colored water, I felt the pain in my chest, my oxygen supply running out. I frantically whipped my head around, hoping, praying for an escape. Sometimes good memories flow past me in the most alluring and enticing way possible, like sirens singing heavenly harmonies. But nothing ever comes that easily, as when I allow myself to accept the complete memory, their harmonies turn ugly. Just before I lose all hope and strength, the distant calling of my name echoes through the endless void. The sound vibrates through the water, hitting my ears and bringing me back to wherever I was before the attack. After those treacherous 17 minutes of struggling through my first panic attack, I realized that not everyone has someone to pull them out of the water when they start to “drown”. For those with Alzheimer’s disease, grasping reality is a daily struggle that gradually gets worse due to their loss of memory. Struggling with my corrupted memories, I resonate with that detrimental feeling of panic when certain recollections become murky and start to fade away. Reaching out and grabbing all the pieces that start to slip away, while also trying desperately to fight off the false memories no matter how hard they try to tempt you… it’s exhausting. Eventually, as the degeneration continues, patients can lose their ability to function properly. As they sink beneath the surface, into the depths of their unknown, they begin to drown without ever having the peace of sanity, feeling completely alone and abandoned at sea. Since I was in first grade, I knew I wanted to be a pharmacist, and the last ten years have brought me a lot of insight. After having multiple relatives pass away from Alzheimer’s, I have gained first-hand experience from pharmacists that have worked with our family and completed personal research and self-study on neurodegenerative diseases and medicines. Going into pharmacology and neuroscience will help me to find a cure for the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. Like a lighthouse, wishing to help those drowning patients, I will be the beacon of light that shines on the ocean waves, giving them the courage to triumph over their fears of uncertainty, and giving them hope when all seems lost.

Currently, I am on a journey to learn as much as I can about Alzheimer's disease, the ins, and outs of the illness that is wreaking havoc worldwide. I have been passionate about studying pharmacology since I was a child, and in the past few years have grown significant interest in neuroscience after dealing with relatives who have the disease in different stages. I am working on studying and memorizing the top three-hundred drugs in use today to have under my belt before college and pharmacy school. I love reading articles and whatever I can get my hands on about the different approaches people take to try and crack into the large puzzle that is neurodegenerative disease. Unfortunately, a lot of the best journals out there add up in cost, not to mention the expense of purchasing books on the topics as well. With this grant, I can learn more about neurodegenerative diseases and their theorized origins, and overall how the brain works in a better light that would shine on the path to my success. With this information I can be more successful in my future academic endeavors after finishing highschool.

Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to be a pharmacist. I looked up to the women I would see at the counter when we would get our medications, in hospital and community pharmacy settings. In the last few years, I have grown passionate about Alzheimer's disease, and I hope to be a part of the research team that finds a cure for the illness. Looking up to women in the field that are constantly setting the bar for young women everywhere in the industry, I especially am inspired and motivated by Dr. Reisa Sperling. Sperling is a renowned professor at Harvard Medical school and is the director of groundbreaking Alzheimer's research at multiple hospitals and research facilities. She is a pioneer in the field and mentors other women who are also dedicating their lives to the science of dementia. As a professional and a woman in STEM, she goes beyond boundaries set by the patriarchy that is in the STEM field. She inspires me to push myself forward in the world of medicine and ignites my passion for Alzheimer's research constantly. I hope to get my Pharm. D and a Ph.D. in Molecular Pharmaneurocology after completing my undergrad work in pre-pharmacy studies and neuroscience. I love to learn and my curiosity to explore what's available around the world, what studies have been done, and all the journals that come out about different approaches and perspectives on the treatment that can be put in place for those affected. I hope to be able to travel the world and work together with individuals that share the same passions I do and empower the next generation of young girls to do the same, as these women have done for me.

“What the hell was that?” I choked out into the air, my breathing uneven and choppy, my voice sounding distant and not my own. Those words echoed through my empty bedroom, bouncing off the walls that finally crumbled around me mentally. My head pounded and I could hear ringing in my ears from collapsing onto my scratchy carpet minutes prior, too weak to grab the phone that lay inches from me and dial 9-1-1. I had been drowning in my head for months, and now my body had finally caught up. I started to seize, and every breath was a battle. All of the oxygen felt depleted at that moment like I was fighting for my life. 17 minutes. My focus on my overturned alarm clock was the only thing that had brought me back to reality. As the clock ticked in a rhythmic pattern, I fell into a state of hypnosis, the calm and serene sounds of the forest coming through my windows contrasted heavily to the harsh acceptance of memories (and lack thereof) from my traumatic childhood due to my immature, young biological parents. My tears soaked the carpet as I swam alone in the open ocean of my thoughts. Thrashing against the waves around me, I dove into my earliest memories, fearful and paranoid that I would be sucked too deeply into the water, never being able to surface. However; I noticed I was fearing the wrong thing all along. It’s not the water itself, but rather what’s in the water that petrified me to no end. After that, I spent a lot of time accepting that my past is a part of me forever, and I can either grow from it or stay stuck in the same suffocating spot forever. With these anxiety attacks and my disordered binge eating habits that I have been dealing with since middle school, I grew so much hatred for my body and mind. I looked in the mirror and didn't see myself, only a shell of the once happy girl that loved being around everyone and who would brighten up the room with her optimism. I spent so much of my time trying to make sure other people felt good and loved, that I disregarded my own mental health. I still struggle with my self-image at times, and loving yourself is no easy feat coming from a place of such deep pessimism, but I have found ways to change my mindset that help rewire my brain when I catch myself resorting to its old habits. Today, I work out to feel stronger and to be healthy, instead of thin and "pretty". I eat to nourish my body and care for it so it will continue to help me do great things. I meditate, journal, and take time to be mindful, giving my brain a rest that it desperately needs after a long day. Now more than ever I love myself for me, and all I do every day.

“What the hell was that?” I choked out into the air, my breathing uneven and choppy, my voice sounding distant and not my own. Those words echoed through my empty bedroom, bouncing off the walls that finally crumbled around me mentally. My head pounded and I could hear ringing in my ears from collapsing onto my scratchy carpet minutes prior, too weak to grab the phone that lay inches from me and dial 9-1-1. I had been drowning in my head for months, and now my body had finally caught up. I started to seize, and every breath was a battle. All of the oxygen felt depleted at that moment, and it seemed like I was fighting for my life. 17 minutes. My focus on my overturned alarm clock was the only thing that had brought me back to reality. As the clock ticked in a rhythmic pattern, I fell into a state of hypnosis, the calm and serene sounds of the forest coming through my windows contrasted heavily to the harsh acceptance of memories (and lack thereof) from my traumatic childhood due to my immature, young biological parents. My tears soaked the carpet as I swam alone in the open ocean of my thoughts. Thrashing against the waves around me, I dove into my earliest memories, fearful and paranoid that I would be sucked too deeply into the water, never being able to surface. However; I noticed I was fearing the wrong thing all along. It’s not the water itself, but rather what’s in the water that petrified me to no end. Treading through the ink colored water, I felt the pain in my chest, my oxygen supply running out. I frantically whipped my head around, hoping, praying for an escape. Sometimes good memories flow past me in the most alluring and enticing way possible, like sirens singing heavenly harmonies. But nothing ever comes that easily, as when I allow myself to accept the complete memory, their harmonies turn ugly. Just before I lose all hope and strength, the distant calling of my name echoes through the endless void. The sound vibrates through the water, hitting my ears and bringing me back to wherever I was before the attack.        After those treacherous 17 minutes of struggling through my first panic attack, I realized that not everyone has someone to pull them out of the water when they start to “drown”. For those with Alzheimer’s disease, grasping reality is a daily struggle that gradually gets worse due to their loss of memory. Struggling with my corrupted memories, I resonate with that detrimental feeling of panic when certain recollections become murky and start to fade away. Reaching out and grabbing all the pieces that start to slip away, while also trying desperately to fight off the false memories no matter how hard they try to tempt you… it’s exhausting. Eventually, as the degeneration continues, patients can lose their ability to function properly. As they sink beneath the surface, into the depths of their unknown, they begin to drown without ever having the peace of sanity, feeling completely alone and abandoned at sea.        Since I was in first grade, I knew I wanted to be a pharmacist, and the last ten years have brought me a lot of insight. After having multiple relatives pass away from Alzheimer’s, I have gained first-hand experience from pharmacists that have worked with our family and completed personal research and self-study on neurodegenerative diseases and medicines. Going into pharmacology and neuroscience will help me to find a cure for the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. Like a lighthouse, wishing to help those drowning patients, I will be the beacon of light that shines on the ocean waves, giving them the courage to triumph over their fears of uncertainty, and giving them hope when all seems lost.