This started when I was in high school. I couldn't have a Boyfriend because I had family thinking I was going to get pregnant and drop out of school. I never lived with my dad but we had family going behind my mom's back and telling him how bad of drug addicts and alcoholics we were. Once I became a senior in high school I felt like my own family was stopping me from doing senior stuff and exploring the world. I finished high school and had a college picked out. I chose to go because I wanted to experience life away from home. I ended up pregnant during the second semester in college I decided to stay and finish that semester. I felt as if I let everyone who said I'd never make it win. So I end up picking on going to the community college as my baby would be born that Oct. I finished that semester out and let my family know that I wanted to go back to the school where I first started and finish what I started there. My mom steps up and tells me to go and leave my son home with her so that I can focus on college and complete the 2 semesters I need to finish. I do that and finish with my AA degree. That feeling felt good because even with my own family (auntie/uncles) they thought the worst of me. All because I chose to have a boyfriend in high school. I have gone on to have three more sons and have now adopted a daughter. Having 5 children in total. Going this far with my education I feel like I have to still prove myself to those who have thought so low of me. Now working for a school system I feel like I have to set a better example and get more education to so my children and their friends to not be afraid and go after it. Being Native American in a public school and showing them we too can get that same understanding and we can beat the odds that are given to us. I am a first-generation college student. My dad has 9 children and my mom is 3 children. Being the first and my children watching now has made them start to think about what they want to do with their lives. My oldest son is 14 years old and he has seen me struggle and struggle and has told me Mom this is my plan and when I finish I hope I make enough so you don't have to work this hard. That choked me up knowing I am just their mom and not their dad but I set enough there for him to beat the odds too. He as has a father who's in and out of the jail system because of alcoholism. His father beat him like he was a grown adult at the age of 12 years old. He has since pushed himself more in his education that he's getting. So being Native American and pushing yourself to do better pushes those you love and hold close to your heart do that much better.

My mental health is okay most days. The days I struggle with the most I have learned to reach out and say todays to much and i have to much on my plate. Being a single mother, with sons in sports and in the process of adopting my daughter. Days it gets so over whelming I thinking why did I even start classes this semester. Those are the days I want to withdraw and call it good. Those are the days I take it out on myself the most because it's times I promised my sons i would make it to their sporting events or its times I told them i can afford their shoes for their sporting events. I do not like telling them we have to pick and choose playing in sports. Because this is something positive for my sons to do. It helps them stay busy and not just waiting on mom all the time. It helps them gain friendships i would hope that last a lifetime for them. I work and taking classes in the evening time so trying to show up and support my children the best way i can has been working hard. Learning to be more on i need help when life really hate me hard has gotten to the point i have gained enough people to say they will come to help me. If that means getting them to practice another town away or helping taking my daughter for the evening or the weekend so i can get my homework finished. Once i opened up more on who i can trust i learned people really do care about you. Some are so much in your corner they'll come to your home and make dinner for your whole family and then clean up the crazy mess that is left be hide. That has been the biggest lesson i have been learning that has much as their are people who want to see you fail there that much more people in your life that want to see you finish something you've started. I also have picked up reading the bible. Every day it is a must that i read something and learn what it means. That way carry myself that much better and learn to not let myself get so over whelmed that i will be okay and my children will be okay. That they have never seen their home without.

Being a single mother and living life has been me since I first went to college. I have taken breaks for my mental health. But what am i to say being a mother and telling my children they cant start a sport and not finish something. But i can know i can try and afford college i have gone back. I promised myself I wouldn't allow my children to see the kind of childhood i had seen growing up. Growing up think if there is going to be water for me to shower. Ride home after school because i wanted to try out a sport. Food on the table because mom didn't make it home to cook dinner. Having to move two hours away thinking it would be better for me but it had only gotten worse. Wanting to finish my college classes I started so i can tell my children i never gave up. I love hearing how my children never had plans for going off to college and them even thinking they'll give trade school a go. Learning to be a mom and learning that riding a bike wasn't always easy. That the bumps given to us in life was like a bridge that needed to be crossed. I know my five children may not see it all right now. But them seeing us adopt our baby girl and the possible life that she could have gotten compared to the life they have. I am 34 years old still thinking what am i going to do with my life. I haven't even worked a job that will give me good retirement. Wanting to be able to be hired at a job that'll offer something like that. That way my children won't have to worry for me when they get older and start their own families. My future goals aren't about me they are about the younger children like my daughter i adopt due to drugs. When my children started seeing how see she. They would ask questions like mom do all of us babies shake like that. Explaining to them they she was withdrawing from meth was hard. Because they haven't been near people who even would drink. Hoping that my future helps save more life's like that daughter i adore today. The strong baby that the town i live in became to adore and love full heartly.

Living with a single was hard. Days my twin, sister and I had to get ourself to school because mom did not make it home the night before. Mom stayed at work all night and would take cloths to her office because she did not want to miss work or needed to be on time. My twin and I both learned on catching rides from that lived closes to us. Most days we just walked the extra 10 miles after school just so we didn't have to ask anyone for a ride and explain ourself. Days we had to go without eating or lights getting shut up or we had no running water. The summer I moved to my aunts house and away 2 hours from my twin. My mom wasn't a drink or a drug mother. She was just a mom who struggled to support us alone. When we reached the age to able to start working at 14 and 15 years old. That's the day i had to support my own hobbits. I was in cross country basketball, track, and JROTC. Living with an aunt who was kept her eye on me and barley let me do just anything. I had to earn a lot other peoples trust and love. When I became a single mother to my children i made myself a promise I wasn't going to make my children struggle like i did and wanted them to enjoy all the memories they could make. I work hard to get to my children's events. Support them in anything they do. Ensure my car is always updated and able to make drives that get them to their practices and whatever extra active they planned. Having a 14 year old who had no goals to watching him create them because he wants mom to retire at a young age. So I can watch him finish growing and when he has children i can always feel healthy enough to love them the way i have loved them. My children have never had to learn about lights being turned off or water not running because i couldnt pay the bill. The only thing they had to worry about his mom not having enough money to get them their deserved sports shoes. They know if they dont get shoes the first few weeks into practice that mom makes it happen. Since going to school my school all have gained and trusted me enough to know i dont give up easy and i want to finish.

My mom tried to not show my brother and twin sister she was struggling. She did whatever she could to give us the best life. We did not have the best clothes or shoes. She would have to take us and goodwill for our schools. We even ended up having to live with our aunties or other family members. Everyone called us good kids or ugly. Some days my sister and I would have to sleep in different places because we couldn't find rides home. The family we would be staying with only cared for their child(ren) and got them back and forth to sporting events. My mom got so sick everyone told us she even was on drugs and had aids. Had us believing we had aids too. But as we got older we were able to get jobs at 14 and 15 years old. So we could get our clothes and look half okay. We learned to save enough to ensure we can give others gas money to get a house home. When our water would get shut up we would pay that for our mom. Having barely even bread to eat sometimes was even a struggle. My mom would cry and tell us she was so sorry for making us have a life like that. Even her being a sober mother that didn't use she felt horrible. But I thank her for giving her the best life I could have ever asked for. Makes given me such great life lessons. I learned to get a job to learn. I learned that no matter what my children will only be taken care of the way I want them to be. It showed me not to give up. Now I work two jobs to make ends up for my children and me. But the only way I know I can learn anything and provide my children with a good life is by being educated. I can truly look at my mom and tell her she showed me all that. The even amount of love always gave me hope. I learned to accept people no matter where they come from. What they wear. My mom tells her children, thank you for being my grandchildren and the live I wasn't able to provide you, my children. I can lie down in my bed and not have to worry if they are being fed or if they have been fed. My grandbabies can call and ask me Grandma do you need anything.

I currently work for a women's shelter and in a school. Getting myself an education has been the biggest goal in my goal as I have 10 eyes looking at me. Four children are my own and one child I foster. I want to be able to provide stability in my childrens lives. Already having to work two jobs just to make ends up. I know right now is a struggle. But when my children tell me "Mom you need it to happen" reminds me how much of a role my life and its life lesson come from me to my children. When I work with abused women and they come in with their children. I have a hard time knowing addiction. I thought the only way I will understand where and why is getting an education. Me being educated will help someone else. If I want someone to know or if I am going to know. I have to get out there and find out and learn it so I can't turn someone away. Being in one woman's shoes of being abused. scared I was never going to see a good road. Fearing for your life thinking this will be the last time I see God's creation. I won't forget how it feels to have your hair being used to choke you. How does it feel when being told to shut up or this knife will make you? When I got away from that life. I knew I had to find myself. Well studying it's taken my mind off certain PTSD moments. I founding myself telling saying I am m IMPORTANT! I am LOVED! I am STRONG. As my children get older I want to be able to work one job. So I can be able to watch them play football or wrestle. Wanting to provide a home of abuse free, and telling my sons (4) their lives are important. The more I learn the more I try to change my lifestyle so that I can help my sons be better men. Or I will be a better mom, a better person. My boys are always telling me I am going to bet you in a race. But it's not about who crosses that finish line first I tell them. It's about if you started the race right and what you do during that race. Will you be able to have enough energy to run another race afterward or will you quit?

Graduating with my BA is who important to me because I started this wanted to better my children's lives. My mom has since pushed me more because I will be the first in our family to earn a BA degree. She said that way if anything happens to me I will be able to go knowing that my children set great examples for my grandchildren. Scholarships are what pay my way throw college right now since I am a single mother raising four children. They sports days have since started so extra gas money, buying shoes that are needed for their sports and their sporting events fees. I am close to getting my BA degree in Human Services: Mental Health. I am so excited to finish this. Once I am finished I plan to use it and help with my tribes local CPS office. I am hoping to get more hands on with this and then starting my Masters degree to so I can be a Native American in psychology. As we do not have much of those in my state.

My passion for mental health came about with my oldest son. I kept being told he had ADD/ADHD. But as a mother I thought he was just being a boy. So my journey in the mental health field because of him. Until I started dealing with my own PTSD. Now that i am going into my senior year in my 4 year degree I have learned a lot. It is now pushing my to go for my masters degree. As I am seeing it that for the state of SD there is not a lot of help to help with those dealing with any type of mental health issues. My future plan is to get a masters degree once I get my BA degree and return to my small community and help children. Those to scared to speak up and asking for help. As being a Native American suicided is amongst our culture. I hoping they see a change and they see that someone with their back ground knows they are hurting. I have seen children come from homes with nothing to sleep on but a bed made of blankets. Cry to go home because that is their peace their home. But not be able to return because they do not have running water, lights or food to feed them. That is what is pushing me. My four sons watching me. Hoping they know they no matter how busy I am studying they are able to speak to me.

I have been a single mother since I started my college journey. I became a mother at the age of 20. I lived so far from my family right in the middle of my second semester into college I found out I was expecting my first born son. I had no choice but to finish out the semester and return home. After being home with my son and raising him. My own mother pushed me right back out the front door. Leaving my first born was the hardest decision I made. I took a break once I earned my AA degree. I returned back to college in Spring of 2018. I not only one another child. But I chose to return back with a new born and three other sons. Leaving me have four children. I have struggled missing family events to ensure homework is done. I had baby sitters for them during the evening times. My sons having sports practice. Having to drive extra miles on the road to get them to where they need to be. It has really opened my eyes. My children are now setting their own goals. I had so my set backs but push forward because those little voice and eyes are what push me. I can not tell my sons to start something and them see me not finish. This goal to be the first in my mother and fathers family to earn a 4 year degree is something i set out for myself and for my children. I was in the social work field but i had to make a choice between my degree or my schooling. I choice schooling. Once I finish my degree i am hoping i can return back to the Social work field and work to protect abused children.