Humanitarianism is everything to me. I think that all people are unique, beautiful, and worthy, but I also know that not everyone is given the same opportunities and chances to succeed. As humans, I find it more than necessary that we help each other in times of need–even in the smallest ways. I have been completing community service and humanitarian projects since my fifth grade year. While high school community service hours might seem more relevant, I do believe that the missions I completed at just eleven years old shaped who I am today. My elementary school had an optional mentor program where fifth graders could sign up to be randomly paired with a younger student at the school; the fifth grader was supposed to meet with this student weekly and work with them on school, sociability, etc. I was paired with a girl named Lydia. The first day I met her, she was so timid that I could not even get her to talk to me, but I found out exactly what she was struggling with and came up with activities and practices we could do to help. We met every week: we read together, we talked about our days, we practiced math problems, and we shared rewards for all of our little victories. By the end of our time together, Lydia was such a bright light. Five years later, her mom invited me to come watch her dance recital–and she was amazing. Still to this day, that was the most rewarding experience. Participating in the Jr. Beta Club in middle school, I had so many more opportunities for community service and humanitarian projects, including Piggies for Preemies and bellringing for the Salvation Army. High school is when I really found a focus for my humanitarianism. I spent the first few years in FCCLA, participating in chapter and state community service projects, including the Rae of Sunshine foundation (I even served as the Chapter VP of Community Service for one year!). This year, I decided to take a step back from FCCLA as I dove further into my personal art as well as my school’s art club. Through the art club, I have carried out more community service projects than I even did with FCCLA. I was one of the leaders of the Arts in Healing project carried out by my art teacher, as I offered creative input, assembled student art into one big piece, and advocated for the project to members in my community. I, and some other art students, have also voluntarily painted windows in our community (the police department for Red Ribbon Week, elementary schools for various occasions, and the public square for Christmas) and headed a couple of campus beautification projects for our high school. Most recently, I helped out with Chalk the Walk, which was an event held by the health department where people could draw on the sidewalk with chalk to raise awareness for sexual abuse and child endangerment. From FCCLA to working in a therapy office to painting windows, I have had a lot of experience with humanitarianism, and I plan to implement it into the rest of my life. While my future is still a little cloudy, I know one thing for sure: I want to make this world a better and more beautiful place for people to live in. After all, we are all human, and we are all worthy.

While women everywhere face inequality and discrimination on a consistent basis, I have experienced my fair share of the patriarchy specifically within the realm of music. During my several years of navigating the music industry as a young woman, I have been subject to gender bias, sexualization, and rather insulting ulterior motives. Dealing with this level of patriarchal behavior has been highly discouraging, forcing me to question my willingness to continue pursuing music. To add to my own experiences, these trends can also be followed into the heart of the music industry. Statistically speaking, 34% of female respondents to the "Be The Change: Gender Equality in the Music Industry" study, conducted by Luminate, Tunecore, and Believe, have reported incidents of sexual harassment or abuse in the music industry; additionally, 53% of the respondents felt that men are typically paid more than anyone else in the music industry. Considering these statistics, it is not hard to believe that I have already, at only seventeen years old, had to witness significant amounts of adversity. Being a young girl with a big voice and a shiny guitar has served me well when it comes to locking down gigs. My appearances on stage have hands down been a culture shock in my small, rural town–which comes with its positives and negatives. On one hand, many people tend to be fairly intrigued by how I contrast with the societal norms of my town, which gets me tons of exposure and opportunities, but this intrigue can go sour very quickly. In my short time being a performer, I have been frequently sexualized by boys and grown men alike. Knowing that this happens makes me incredibly self-conscious any time I step up to a microphone. Somehow my love for music gets translated into something so filthy, undermining all my talent and hard work. At such a low level of exposure, I have even dealt with one particular man following me to every show and watching me with an abnormal obsession. Expanding on the undermining of my talent and hard work, oftentimes, I experience sexualization from people within the world of music. Male musicians with masked sexual motives have reached out to me on multiple occasions, asking to collaborate with me or play for me. Some women might find this situation flattering, but I feel that it extinguishes my worth as a musician. To find out that I am only being sought after because of the way I look is always a humongous damper on my confidence. However, because there is no cure for adversity–no attainable end to the patriarchy, I am forced to look past the discrimination, the offensive words, and the sexualization; I am forced to keep moving and stand tall in the face of adversity. I still have a lot of life to live, and one thing is certain: no matter where I go, there will always be challenges that I have to overcome simply because I am a woman. This is very frustrating and very discouraging. Having to put up with insufferable men preying on my every move will probably never get easier, but I will get stronger–and I will use that strength to carry me anywhere I want to go. As I charge through life, encountering difficult situations at every turn, I will never forget who I am, where I came from, and what I want. Never will I let a man tell me what I can and cannot do. Never will I let a man get me down. Never will I let a man dictate my life.

Growing up, I was never the kid that played with Barbie dolls; I was the kid that asked for books for Christmas. However, ever since I watched Barbie in theaters, I have been obsessed. From the cute and girly ambience of Barbie Land to the heavy feminist undertones, I could not get enough of the movie (which I proved when I went back to the movie theater to watch it for the second time). This is probably the most exciting scholarship essay I have written thus far, and I am absolutely thrilled to create my own Barbie Dream House! First off, my Barbie Dream House would absolutely be located on the beautiful island of Key West because my dream home should obviously belong to my dream location. My three-story, Key West-inspired Barbie Dream House would be overlooking the water near a pier where I would tie off my yacht and my multiple jet skis. Built from multicolored wood paneling and white vinyl siding, my Barbie Dream House would feature large windows, allowing the sunlight to pour in and light up every room of the house. To accompany the white, wood, and glass look of the exterior, the house would be surrounded with beautiful landscaping, potted plants, and multiple gardens of herbs, fruits, and vegetables. Upon opening the front door, there would be a beautiful foyer filled with large plants, original artwork, and a grand piano–encompassing my three favorite things into one room: plants, art, and music. The foyer would branch off into an open-concept living room, kitchen, and dining room. Inside the living room would lie a cozy olive green couch, along with a couple accent chairs, stools, a 70” flat screen TV, a warm fireplace, a bohemian-style rug, and–of course–more plants! The kitchen would contain cabinets the same color of the couch as well as decorative ceramic dishes and more plants. Throughout the house, I would have a master bedroom and bathroom, four spare bedrooms, five spare bathrooms, a gym and sauna, an office, a dramatic closet room equipped with the infamous Clueless outfit generator, and a craft room full of knitting, painting, and ceramics materials. In addition to all of the amazing interior features, walking out the back door would lead to a large in-ground pool, cabana, tiki bar, and pool house. Of course, it would not be my Barbie Dream House if the backyard were not full of awe-inspiring landscaping and plants. The greenery of the backyard gives the large, dramatic features a jungle-like illusion, tying heavily into the Key West setting. While my Barbie Dream House might not be the pink mansion typical of Barbie installments, I think it would be absolutely gorgeous. Realistically, I believe a smaller, less dramatic house would be more fitting to myself and my personality, but this was a super fun concept. I think that, no matter the background, every little girl has dreamt of living some kind of Barbie fantasy with the big house and the in-ground pool and the fancy closet and the pink convertible and the loving boyfriend–I know I have. Dreaming is fun, even if those dreams are unattainable–like living in a big house on the water in Key West with a yacht and a million plants.

@jordanraemusic

Ever since I was a babbling toddler, not yet able to string words together to make clear sentences, I have been reading. Oftentimes, my childhood pictures feature me holding a giant book in front of my tiny face, creating my own stories from the illustrations. I have seen pictures of me on the couch, on the toilet, cuddled up in my bed–fully immersed in the pages of my book. Growing up, some of my favorite books were installments of the Junie B. Jones series, which I would read to my mom every morning on the way to school. Not only did I find so much satisfaction in giving life to the words on the pages, but I loved the stories–and more than anything, I loved sharing those stories with other people. When I was in kindergarten, I remember being asked to read to the fifth graders at my elementary school–and man, I was excited. I felt so blessed being given the opportunity to get up in front of the big kids and read a book; this would have been the first time I had felt a true purpose for myself, and I was only five years old. Since then, my love and appreciation for books has only grown, my taste has expanded, and my ability to interpret what I am reading has improved. While reading used to mean giving life to flat text, it now means discovering the life already existing within the flat text. At this point in my life, I have taken approximately seventeen English classes–some being college-level–and have many more ahead of me as I move forward to college. All of these classes have forced me to not read just to read but to read to find meaning. This forced classwork has transformed into habit, and habit has transformed into a deep appreciation for literature. Being a senior in high school, most of my time is dedicated to applying for scholarships, preparing my portfolio for college, spending my last moments with my loved ones, and trying to figure out how to be an adult. My busy schedule has put harsh restrictions on my ability to read for recreation. These days, most of my reading includes either a textbook for class or a required reading for a scholarship application. When I can steal those rare moments of free time, though, I love to throw myself into a book. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon has been my favorite book for several years; I make a point to read it at least once every year. I find this book to be so much more than an average young adult novel. While it does follow the romantic timeline of two teenagers in New York (pretty typical of a YA novel), it also supplies readers with the differing perspectives of multiple people in a single city and the connections made between those people in a single day. I have yet to read another book like this one, what with its unique layout and heavy themes of fate and love and loss. That is what I find so beautiful about literature. In just a few hundred pages, authors manage to make their mark–their signature. Overall, I believe that I would not be who I am without my lifelong love for reading. Books have given me a passion for reading, writing, and understanding, which has played a monumental role in shaping my future. Just like the authors of the books that gave meaning to my little life, I want to help change someone’s life–for the better.

In a way, music serves as a single-word definition for my life. While this might sound dramatic, music became a large part of my identity from a very early age. Some of my most vivid childhood memories include dressing up in feather boas and tiaras and performing freestyle, self-written songs for my parents, who tell me that I have been singing nearly as long as I have been talking. At this time, music was essentially unexplored territory for me. I did not yet understand the depth of the words and the sounds running through my brain. Something I did know, though, was that music gave me a sense of purpose–a feeling of belonging. Listening to my favorite songs, I would feel this unidentifiable emotion rush through my body, and this has only grown over time. When I was just a seventh grader, I decided to go a step further with my love for music; I took my first step in transforming my dreams into reality. I have been a part of multiple bands over the past several years, but my first band–the one I formed in seventh grade with three of my closest friends–will always be the most meaningful. Our name was Quarter Til 12, and we thought we were single-handedly carrying Grayson County’s music scene on our backs. This was my first experience playing with other people my age, which completely altered my perception of music. Fronting a band quickly veered my musical preferences from solo artists to bands. The entire band dynamic became an immense interest of mine. At the ripe age of thirteen, I started idolizing bands like Nirvana, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blur, Marcy Playground, and my all-time favorite, Cage the Elephant. I would sit and watch live band performances for hours and take mental notes of every move they made. My fascination with the band dynamic led to an obsession with my own band, which was never reciprocated by the other members. I would dedicate the majority of my free time to practicing, finding new songs to play, and writing songs of my own, desperately reaching for an escape from my small town. Aside from my love for and obsession with music, my motivation was also being fed by desperation. From the moment I entered that awkward, middle-school stage, I was desperate to get out. I was miserable at school, at home–I was miserable all the time. Mild social anxiety eventually turned severe, which led to general anxiety, which led to depression. I was easily at my worst, and the only thing keeping me afloat was music. The more I listened to and the more I learned about my favorite artists and songs and albums, the more I learned about myself. Under all of the teenage angst and emotional outbursts, I was able to discover a new me–a more mature me that viewed the world with true ambition and excitement rather than just destructive desperation. My eyes opened to new dreams and possibilities, all fueling my newfound positive outlook on life. What started as a curious obsession with the musical world grew into an entire arch of self-discovery and development. After years of being uncomfortable with who I was and my ability to present music, I have finally grown into a confident young woman, eager to take on the challenges of my post-secondary life. Upon high school graduation, I will be attending Belmont University in Nashville (a.k.a Music City, U.S.A.). The strides I have made in the realm of artistic identity are unbelievable, and I owe it all to music.

Describing who I am in just 600 words is a daunting task. As a girl of only seventeen–almost eighteen–years, I wear a lot of hats and juggle a lot of responsibilities. I think of myself as an artist, musician, writer, student, performer, creator, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, dog lover, and the list goes on. However, I am fully aware that my worth as a human being cannot be measured in titles; it goes much deeper than that. My unbridled drive and dedication to being the best possible version of me single-handedly shape who I am, and these exact traits have brought me to where I am today. For the past few months, the majority of my time and energy has been spent preparing for my upcoming freshman year of college. I have spent countless hours perfecting my admissions essay, searching for scholarships and financial aid, recalling all of the important events and accomplishments from my years in high school, and learning everything I can about my dream college and safety schools–and I am only a month into the school year. Due to the overwhelming cost of my dream college, I have been writing new scholarship essays almost daily. While my ambitions have wavered tremendously over the years, I have finally settled on a concrete plan for my near future. If everything works out, I will be attending Belmont University in Nashville, TN as a member of the Belmont Global Honors Program where I will double major in Creative & Entertainment Industries and Studio Art. Assuming I am accepted to the honors program, I will have the opportunity to dedicate an entire semester of my four-year college career to studying abroad. Now, all of this does come at a cost: attending Belmont University will cost me $55,000 per year without scholarships, adding up to a whopping $220,000 for a four-year education. While I do not come from a low-income household, this price is extremely intimidating and far more than I can handle. Utilizing my existing skill set combined with the further education I will receive from Belmont University, my main goal looking forward is to make a positive impact on the world. I firmly believe that one person can make a difference as long as they believe in their cause. No matter what career path I end up taking, I am confident that I will use my position and my skills for good. Not only will I ensure happiness and satisfaction in my own life, but I will also ensure happiness, satisfaction, and opportunity in the lives of others. Through the various programs and opportunities offered by Belmont University, I could have the chance to get a headstart on this positive action. When it comes to my education and my future, $10,000 can go a very long way. As I am competing against many other applicants, I greatly appreciate the time being taken to read my essay and my story. Receiving one of the available scholarship awards would have an unbelievable impact on my future and everything that I hope to accomplish. I would use this money to help fund my college education, which would, in turn, fund my future and my impact on the world.

Whenever I am asked to choose my favorite season, my immediate response is summer. After months of cold weather and short days and winter slumps, I find so much happiness in the sun and the warm air. I will admit, though, snuggling up with a warm blanket and drinking a hot cup of coffee is a type of comfort that summer cannot bring. Every year when September rolls around, even though I have to say goodbye to summer, I find myself surrendering to the “it’s fall y’all” culture. Of course, one of the most quintessential parts of this culture is the long-awaited release of Starbucks’ fall drinks. The phrase “Christian Girl Autumn” has recently been adopted as slang for a “basic white girl in fall.” As everyone knows, Christian Girl Autumn would not be Christian Girl Autumn without the infamous pumpkin spice latte–and this is where I am a little different. As much as I have tried to get into the whole pumpkin spice vibe, I cannot seem to make it work. My coffee shop staples usually feature caramel or white chocolate flavoring, and rarely do I venture out from my regulars. Luckily Starbucks’ fall selection does not stop at pumpkin spice. Additional menu options I have seen are the Maple Pecan Latte, Caramel Apple Spice, and, my personal favorite, Salted Caramel Mocha. Being a senior in high school has proved to be far more stressful than I ever imagined. Between applying to college, trying to figure out how I am going to afford college, maintaining my 4.0 GPA, running a small business, playing shows, and keeping my relationships stable, I rarely have even an ounce of free time to take care of myself. Even though this is a busy, stressful time, I try to find ways to make it feel worthwhile–my favorite way being to work in the warm environment of a coffee shop. To me, there is nothing more satisfying than ordering a hot coffee and completing tasks on my to-do list–and that is where the Salted Caramel Mocha comes into play. There is something so comforting about holding a warm coffee: the warmth seeping through the cup onto my hands and heating my whole body. It is a wonderful feeling, but nothing beats the feeling of the first sip. Tasting the perfect mix of mocha and warm caramel and sea salt defines my entire perception of the fall season. Fall, to me, is symbolic of change, of comfort, and of letting go. Just as the trees let go of their summer leaves, this simple sip of my warm Salted Caramel Mocha allows me to temporarily let go of my negative feelings and welcome change. That warm liquid traveling down into my stomach feels almost like a hug–reminding me that everything will work out in the end. In addition to the symbolism behind the Salted Caramel Mocha and the overall fall season, Starbucks and its fall drink collection also create a community. Sometimes all it takes to boost motivation and, in turn, productivity is to work in an environment with other people overcoming similar struggles. My favorite part of sitting in a coffee shop is observing the people around me. This observation and healthy comparison remind me that I am not alone; everyone around me has deadlines and expectations to meet. Although summer is coming to an end and colder, shorter days are upon us, I am thrilled for all of the coming days spent with my Salted Caramel Mocha, breathing in the new, fresh air and reflecting on all of the change happening around me.

From “Sparks Fly” to “Blank Space” to “Lover,” Taylor Swift’s music has always been a big part of my life. I have never been one to create an entire playlist made up of Taylor Swift songs or to freak out over her new releases, but I have always appreciated Taylor Swift not only for her music, but for who she is. Last November, I remember watching all of my friends go crazy trying to get tickets for the Eras Tour. Teachers were actually excusing my friends and classmates from schoolwork so they could sit in the virtual waiting room and hope to be one of the lucky few to actually get tickets. Personally, I have never considered myself a “Swiftie,” but watching all of these people fall over themselves to get to see Taylor Swift was insane–and definitely boosted my respect for her. Even not being a superfan like most of my friends, as a musician, I look to Taylor Swift as a musical icon. My music preferences usually veer away from mainstream pop and country, but even still, the skill and dedication that Swift carries with her is baffling to me. I decided to watch her documentary, Miss Americana, a couple years ago, and I remember being absolutely blown away by everything I watched. In that hour and twenty-five minutes, I saw a strong, determined, and extremely talented woman bounce back from mounds of adversity. Not only did she bounce back, but she shattered records and single-handedly set entirely new standards for her industry. She forced the entire world to reevaluate their blind opinions and see her for more than just a pretty girl who dates a lot of guys–to see her for the person she really is. Her willpower to spread “Taylor’s message” over the “music industry’s message” is inspiring, and that brings me to my next point: Taylor’s Version. My best friend is a Taylor Swift fanatic. This past year, I have heard enough Taylor lore from her to last a lifetime, but one thing I found particularly interesting is the album re-releases. I find it incredible that she has gotten to the point in her career where she can break away from “the man” and make the music she always wanted to make. It is a truly inspirational story from the lens of a young, female singer-songwriter such as myself. Taylor Swift knows what it is like to be a little girl with big dreams, and she also knows what it is like on the other side of those big dreams. Whether it be lessons in songwriting, perseverance, performing, or even just needing a sweet escape, Taylor Swift has it all. She has managed to move mountains with her music for so many people, including myself. To address the prompt, how has Taylor Swift’s music helped me discover or understand something new about myself? Well, Taylor Swift, her music, and her journey are all proof that women can always overcome adversity in the creative industry. Listening to her music, not only am I brought back to simpler times singing the karaoke version of “Sparks Fly” with my best friend, but I am reminded that, like Taylor Swift, I can make my dreams come true through strength of heart, strength of mind, and strength of soul.

I know I am not special for saying that Disney was a huge part of my life growing up. Disney has undoubtedly touched the hearts of millions of kids and adults alike, so really, I am just one in millions of people with an unbreakable love for the program. Some of my most vivid memories from my childhood consist of sitting in front of the TV watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with my sister while our parents made Mickey Mouse pancakes, and I will cherish these memories forever. I can confidently say that my favorite thing about Disney is the sweet nostalgia it brings me. As a senior in high school, less than a year away from leaving the nest and venturing out on my own, I really treasure looking back on special moments from my childhood–the simplicity and carelessness of it all. While I still have a lot of life left, there is no doubt that responsibilities and obligations have already started to build up. Clicking on the Disney + icon on my TV today is not the same as five-year-old me flipping to the Disney Channel to watch Jessie or Austin & Ally, but it is something. Entering the safe world of Disney provides me with an escape from my jam-packed, stressful life. Any time I hear the words, “...and you’re watching Disney Channel,” a warm comfort rushes through me. Nothing can beat that feeling. One of my favorite Walt Disney quotes is, “Adults are only kids grown up.” No matter how much people change and develop, their inner kid never dies. Looking at my parents, I have to remember sometimes that they were children once too. They have these same feelings of nostalgia that I do–both for their childhoods and for the childhoods of mine and my sister. I think that is what makes Disney so beautiful and so meaningful. Somehow, it can connect everyone to one another by giving them all a common ground, which is that feeling of youthful innocence. Some days, I believe I would give anything to go back in time to the days when I would watch the Disney Channel in my parents’ bed before school. I would give anything to experience that feeling all over again. I would give anything for that to be the most significant moment of my day, but sadly, that is not realistic for me anymore. Even though there is no way for me to go back in time and relive my childhood memories, re-watching old Disney shows and movies can feel almost parallel to time travel. Through all of the growing pains I will endure in the coming year, I can always feel safe knowing that Disney is there. Any time I need an escape from reality, I know that one click of a button can provide me with that, and that is special in a way that words cannot describe. Walt Disney left a legacy on this world that no other person could recreate. He gave children and adults alike an escape from all of their bad days and their sadness and their grief. He created a world outside of reality–a world of whimsical characters and meaningful storylines–a world that, no matter what happens, will always end in “happily ever after.”

Throughout my conscious life, I cannot remember a time where I have felt anything but loved and cared for. I am incredibly lucky to have been born into such a loving household, but knowing how that household started makes me even more grateful. My parents fought from the ground up to give me and my sister everything we have, especially my mom. To put this bluntly, my mother had a horrible childhood. She was born to very selfish, unloving parents who spent most of their time out partying rather than at home taking care of their four children. Her father was always in and out of work, and her mother never worked a day in her life. Because of this, the family of six was constantly surviving on the bare minimum. My mom was forced to grow up before she should have, with little to no love or support, and she vowed to never let me and my sister have the same experiences. Any time I start to feel discouraged or hopeless in any aspect of my life, I have my mom to turn to. I can easily think about how she put herself through college and, after eight years of hard work and dedication, graduated with her Bachelor’s Degree. I can think about how she achieved her title as Director of Accounting and Finance at Abound Credit Union’s corporate office and is on the track to becoming CFO one day. I can think about how she managed to accomplish such incredible things with no support–financial or otherwise–from her parents. Nothing that she has was simply handed to her; she had to fight tirelessly for all of her achievements, and that is more admirable to me than any celebrity or public figure could ever be. In my eyes, my mom is a superhero. Because my parents have worked so hard to give me and my sister the incredible, memorable childhood we have had, I sometimes find it difficult to fully comprehend what my mom has gone through. I cannot even begin to imagine the struggle of getting through college alone. Financially, college is going to be straining for me, and I have support from my parents. Paying for a four-year degree over the course of eight years on top of additional bills and expenses is unthinkable to me. While my dreams and passions could not be more different from my mom’s, her simple drive, dedication and persistence show me that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to. Knowing that I am cut from that woman’s cloth is enough motivation to get me through any slump. Her story tells me two things: (1) Challenges only make me stronger, and (2) Nothing and nobody can stop me from becoming who I want to become. More and more every day, she makes me realize that no bad day or hard test or hurtful comment is going to destroy me. These obstacles are put into my path so that I can adapt to challenges and become a stronger woman. Never will a day go by that I am not grateful for my mom and the values that she has passed down to me. Never will I not be grateful for her fight to give us a better life than she had. Never will I not be grateful for Monica Grant.