Growing up, I lived in a healthy and stable household. My parents are very hardworking, protective, and loving. The obstacles and generational trauma they went through influenced them for me to not experience the same. My father was in foster care throughout his life and experienced physical and mental abuse while still trying to connect with his neglectful mother. My mothers family was deep in poverty and was surrounded by adultery from her parents. Even though my family is still low income, they showed me what it means to genuinely love as a family and definitely influenced the family I want into adulthood. Even though my parents raised in the best way they could, a lot of family members have not with their children. My aunt is an alcoholic and addicted to drugs and doesn’t have that much longer to live. Her ex husband was physically abusive to her and the children. Her children are always on their own, basically raising themselves. They are the sweetest people ever, but I can tell they have the most damaged hearts. That is just one of the many various examples of my family that are happening worldwide. In my household, it's not perfect but it's beautiful. However, being surrounded in the outside world full of broken families, abuse, neglect, trauma, anxiety, depression, and PTSD because of how they grew up or their personal experiences that impact their life could turn into a generational war. For this reason, that’s what influenced my decision to become a Clinical Social Worker for children. Children are our future. Every single affirmation, encouragement, or extra step to let them be in a better environment can motivate them into success for the rest of their lives and instill the same into their children. My decision to become a social worker became a huge inspiration because of all the generational cycles around me from family. While there are other reasons such as having a passion for helping others to the best of my ability and it's such a diverse career, the way most of my family is, influenced my career choice even more since it made me consider, how many more children or people are going through similar problems in their household?

The year 2019 made me feel mixed with unworthiness and uncertainty, but then soon led me to believing I can get through all things, especially with God. I was an empty, lonely, and isolated soul in an all white school for the first time. I was in middle school and beforehand I always attended a black school. Being surrounded by a different culture made me feel inferior, wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t beautiful enough, and wouldn’t make any friends. It was difficult for me to be social to others and have a simple conversation with anyone except my family. However, throughout it all my academics were excellent and still tried to keep my bright optimistic mind. As months passed, my father was going on a trip with his brothers in California in the mountains. As a child, my dad grew up in deep poverty, neglection, and trauma. He was in many homes while being in the foster care system, saw many deaths, and a toxic constructed family. But while my dad was driving up to the mountains, he had intense pains in his neck and head and went to the hospital and the doctor told him he had an infection in his throat which was life threatening. With all of that going on, my mom and I were still home and it took about 2 weeks for my parents to tell me what’s happening. I was sitting in the cold and dark living room on facetime with my dad as my mom was sitting beside me with an anxious face. I saw my father in a hospital bed and a saddened face and expressed to me his sickness and the potential risks. My heart shattered, my tears instantly flowed. I began to think about the last time I laughed with him, hugged him, or simply said “I love you”. My mom beside me, filled with distraught. After all of the trials my dad went through in his childhood, I was angry because he deserves a good life and to properly be loved. Also, it's important to realize, I had no friends and was still isolated from everyone at school with no shoulder to lean on but my moms. As the days went on, my anxiety grew because I didn’t want my dads last breath to be in a hospital hundreds of miles away. After a long month, my dads sickness was cured. God healed my dad. There was immediate relief and excitement for him to come home. Before my dad came back from California, he met up with my brother, whom they haven’t talked to for years because they had a distant and confusing relationship. God didn’t only heal my dads sickness, He healed his relationship with his son. He brought our family together. Throughout it all, I maintained my academic excellence with a smile on my face everyday. Throughout it all, I stayed strong for my beautiful mom who tried not to worry everyday. Throughout it all, God remained faithful. Praying to God every night to heal my dad required so much strength and courage. Even though instilling faith into your mind, heart, and soul is challenging when experiencing trials, it's essential to believe Jesus will take care of the situations in your life. Thank you for providing this scholarship to others because it made me truly think about the significance of faith in God based on my personal experiences. God bless you.

Growing up, I observed so many aspects of my life. I watched the birds outside the windows searching for food for their young, our neighbors talking with ease, and at school everyone is all striving for success during our senior year. But one key perspective I observed the most is my family. I have numerous members of my family that suffer from mental, social, and academic health illnesses. For example, my father suffers from anxiety and PTSD due to his traumatic past of foster care, neglect, and military service. I have cousins that experienced hardships with speech development which affected their academic performance. I have aunts who experience depression. Seeing all of these issues in these beautiful people is one of the major reasons that inspired me to help people. Whether that be helping someone in the grocery store I work in, helping a classmate on an assignment, doing yard work for my disabled father, or community service in mental health establishments, I am passionate about doing these tasks. The world will never be perfect with perfect people in it, but at least I can attempt to make an impact in as many lives as possible. Therefore, I desire to major in social work to gain my bachelors and masters degree. I love aiding people in all aspects of their lives from seeing the various trials from my family members. In addition, I also have noticed in school from kindergarten to now being a senior of the difficulties of some students in learning and lack of focus. I truly believe that God provided this sense of passion in my heart, mind, and soul to make that active effort to inspire others. Specifically, I want to be a school social worker in high school because those four years are the most life changing parts of anyone's life. In the last year, it transforms your life into a brand new beginning in adulthood. I personally have struggled with preparing myself for this last year mentally and I’ve seen many others experiencing the same issues. As a result, being a highschool social worker will stimulate young adults minds and hearts not just about where they are now, but where they will be tomorrow. The beaming gift for loving people no matter what their experiences and difficulties are gives me hope everyday to continue to strive to accomplish it after I graduate. The Team Teal Scholarship will benefit myself financially to achieve my degrees in social work but for beyond, benefit and impact all the lives of others who are going through the unimaginable.

I have always brought dedication in my studies even during my tribulations and personal circumstances. After completing my junior year of high school, I have so much pressure built in my mind of prioritizing my academics so I can apply to universities with some confidence. But now in my senior year, my mental health has been so drained. I'm constantly in the fear of failing in my future because I always feel I'm not doing enough. I have developed a strong sense of anxiety since I was 13 years old. Participating in class, tests, and quizzes are main tasks I struggle in with school. I don't want to say the wrong answer or mess up the tests which contribute to my final grade. My anxious behavior makes my academic performance feel useless and the love for learning escapes from my mind, just wanting peace. I also developed a major eating addiction my junior year of high school. There were so many essays, quizzes, and overall assignments that contributed to most of my stress. In order to cope, I ate anything I could find even after being full. This addiction made me gain almost 40 pounds. My confidence was completely gone. I hated looking in the mirror, going to school, and interacting with others. The low confidence in myself brought even lower confidence in my work. If you don't feel confident in your own skin, you can't be confident in everything you want to achieve. Towards the end of the junior year, I knew I didn't want to bring so much negativity into my senior year. So I have lost the majority of the weight so far. While the anxiety is still present, I did gain some confidence back within myself but for my studies I still continue to struggle with the idea of not being good enough. My exhausted mental health has additionally weakened my relationship with Jesus. I focused more on my academics than reading my Bible daily and praying. This shift in my prioritization made my grades be great, but my foundation with God to become weak. I noticed there should be a change in my actions and focus more into my mental health and started participating in my hobbies again. I am currently in a club called Big Brothers/Big Sisters where we mentor, give advice, and just support middle and elementary students. I love being around children so knowing they can go home knowing me or any person in the club impacted them in any way, makes my soul so happy. I also love being in nature. Seeing the trees, animals, flowers, butterflies, and all of God's creations makes me feel grateful and reminds me that the storms we all experience are just temporary. Being in nature also reassures me everything I have worked so hard for will show in the end so not to give up. I also call my favorite cousins more now because they make me laugh, give me additional support, and just take my mind off of all of the problems I'm facing. Lastly, I have been journaling and listening to gospel music daily to calm my heart and head space. Journaling allows me to express myself and gives me a self reflection on how to improve my actions. Gospel music decreases all of my anxiety but increases all of my joy. Someone's mental health can impact them in their academic activity, relationships, personal emotions, and how they treat others. That is why taking a step back to take care of your mental health advances your state of mind, heart, and soul daily.

The engagement of working with children of all age groups has always sparked an interest in my heart. Just the idea of impacting someone so young and can possibly take that support into their adulthood gives me an uplifting spirit. For that reason, I want to be a school social worker because I love being in educational settings and communicating with children. I have personally experienced anxiety while developing in my teenage years. This altered my perspective on the importance of mental health, not just for myself but for the world around us. Children deserve to be helped in emotional, mental, social, and academic aspects. I want to reassure every child I work with that they matter, they are loved, they are beautiful, and they are going to be in a better space from where they are now. When establishing my career choice I did notice a few sacrifices I would have to make. One of the major ones is my family expectations. Most of them want me to be more involved with engineering, mathematics, business, or physics. Those career fields are absolutely incredible and I respect what some of my family members are trying to inform me. But I would rather pursue a career that I wake up everyday and have a passion for. I want to drive to work every morning and can't wait to be in the process of involvement with children with open, curious minds. I personally don't mind the salaries, as long as I can survive on my own. But I do mind if children aren't being supported the way they are supposed to in all settings, especially school. Therefore, social work burns that drive and passion in my mind and heart by still going towards what I love more than my family's expectations. This in a way hurts me because my family's opinions matter in every decision I make. So them not really agreeing with what I want to do as a career makes me feel like I'm disappointing them. However I have to prioritize my future for myself and not anyone else. I have also sacrificed limiting how shy and reserved I am. I have always been known as the quiet and responsible girl all the way to my senior year of high school. In order to be a school social worker, I have to be open and interactional with the community around me, distinctly in schools.

I have experienced anxiety since I was 13 years old. Not knowing how to cope and regulate my chaotic emotions impacted my mind and heart. During this time it was 2019 and I was in a white school for the very first time as a young black girl with beautiful locs in the constant stage of comparison to other people. I was in the stage of comparison about my hair, academic performance, skin tone, and personality. I felt a deep aspect of isolation in my soul because I had no friends or companions. During this challenging time my father went to California for his birthday trip with his brothers. While on the trip, he had an intense pain in his neck and went to the hospital and found out he had a life-threatening infection. My father suffered from a traumatic childhood. He grew up in Brooklyn, New York in foster care. His tragic and heartbreaking moments developed PTSD, bipolar disorder, and depression into adulthood. He has always been an amazing father to my brothers and I but observing him during his mental struggles expanded my empathy for individuals going through the same trials. Knowing my father can pass away hundreds of miles away, terrified me. Thinking I can't hug him, cry on his shoulders, and just hold his hand raised my anxiety day by day. Having no one to talk to except my mother and cousins, made me feel helpless and a desire for rescue from all of the panic attacks and frustrations. The way I couldn’t breathe just the thought of anything happening in school while doing my work and to witness the distressed look on my dads face on facetime everday made me lose so much strength that he instilled in me for so long. A month later, God cured my father and immediately thanked His name because He is so awesome in everything He does. My anxiety still grew especially when my dad or mom had check ups at the doctor or felt sick. Then the worries grew even more about making excellent grades, succeeding in the future, and just making my family proud of me. Now 17 years old, the anxiety still forms in some time periods of my life but, its more healthier coped now. I journal, pray to God about my feelings, and talk to others at my mothers job because she's a manager at a mental health facilit. But I began going to a new high school once I moved to a small town and met the greatest friends ever. They support me, we laugh endlessly, and take all of the fears of the future away. I also have an amazing school social worker that aids in my anxious behaviors and mindset. I love her support and guidance because I never had a counselor or social worker influence me emotionally growing up. Before even connecting with her, I already established I want to be a social worker due to seeing the mental tribulations my father went through and the anxiety I have come across. Just in my family and personal experience, there are so many other children, young adults, and people going through the same obstacles feeling there is no way out from the pain. Therefore, that is why I want to be a social worker especially working with children because mental health is important with everyone, no matter the age. I also want to inform children that you are so much more than a mental instability and can accomplish anything. The experiences of mental health and seeing it in my father provided my passion for helping others as a career in the future, gained my relationship with others by being a good listener, and helped me understand how complex the world is. Being aware of mental health within yourself and others is important because you understand everyone is different with various mindsets so treat everyone with kindness and respect. The idea of mental health helped me further realize that with God any mental challenges can be improved or worked through. I thank Him for all of the experiences my family and I went through because it emphasizes perseverance and indescribable strength. I also thank Him because He led me to my future career of working with amazing children in school systems.

From the moment I started preschool, a book has always been in my hand. In the car, bus, during lunch, and everywhere I went I loved gathering new information in books. My favorite genres from middle school to now in high school is romance, poetry, and religion because I love reading about different perspectives of relationships and about how impactful God is in so many individuals lives. Poetry gives me a space to be open, brings peace into my mind, and read about others expressing themselves so openly which warms my heart. For instance, I recently read a religious book named "Confidently You", Joyce Meyer where it provides having confidence as a woman but also having that confidence in having faith in God during all circumstances. The comparisons being made with others and living in the constant stage of low esteem can truly impact someone daily. That was one of the main reasons I purchased the book because I had a time period where I gained weight during my junior year of high school and it let to a huge lack on confidence in my faith, appearance, my relationships with others, etc. Reading this influential book allowed me to be in a space to be dedicated to be happy in my own skin again. I lost most of the weight and became so much more happier with myself and relationship with Jesus. This increased my goals in caring more about my health and overall well being. This experience additionally made me think about other teenagers going through the same or traumatic circumstances and I already knew I wanted to be involved with social work but this made me want to be involved in children's lives even more because we never know what's going on in their homes, lives, and internal struggles. Reading as a whole just brings positivity in my soul, heart, and mind. I'm forever grateful for being in the opportunity to read books because not everyone can do the same. During the summer I volunteered at a library in the small town of Jackson I moved to when starting high school. I loved every second of it because it gave me a chance to really be around a library setting for long periods of time. I continued to read many other religious books during my time of volunteering and continued to shape my goals with God and rebuilding my strong source of faith in my heart. Seeing all of the kids coming into the libraries as well gives me a sense of nostalgia from 5 year old me picking up a new book and starting that journey of gaining knowledge.

The feeling of overwhelment became driven in my bones. My mind becomes absolutely focused on the deep fear of the future and negative possibilities. Then my soul craves to breath and rest with a soon peaceful heart. The emotions I have felt since I was 13 years old is anxiety and it's one of the most heartbreaking mental health issues I have not only seen but actually been through myself. The shaking and breathless cries have become a lot better since then and now being 17 but I still think about a question no one has ever asked me about my mental health or overall well being. The question is simply how the anxious feelings developed and what continues to trigger it. I always wanted my parents and teachers to ask me this so they could understand me better and help me with those triggers. They have supported me by breathing slowly with me when having panic attacks and holding my hand. But never asked how and what continues to make it occur. Now being so passionate about mental health and knowing how it can take a huge toll on someone's mind and heart, I desire to be in a field to help others with the same trials. I also want to know how not just anxiety but other mental health problems develop and what are the continuous triggers that impact others so badly. I always knew I wanted to help others as a career but wanted it to be as diverse as possible. During my junior seminar class, where we think and plan about our future goals, I came across social work after doing a career survey. I began to research every day, watching daily videos on a regular day of a social worker, and writing notes on how they help others in so many aspects of their life. I grew a love and passion for social work daily. The passion also grew due to my experience with anxiety and the question I always wanted to be asked. I came to a realization that I can answer these questions every single day with children, veterans, elders, adults, and overall beautiful people with struggling emotions. My goal is to aid others mentally, socially, academically, and spiritually because everyone deserves to have questions they have about themselves answered and taken into consideration. I will take every opportunity, steps, and dedication to take care of others and ask them significant questions that I always wanted to happen to 13 year old me.