All sounds in the room were muffled as I could only hear my breath begin to speed up. Knowing I was the next person to read, I frantically reviewed the next paragraph several times, my eyes darting up and down the page. Pronouncing each word carefully in my head while my leg under the desk was shaking rapidly. At that moment I looked up to see my teacher motioning me to read. I thought to myself nothing can possibly go wrong. I read this paragraph in my head countless times but as I kept on reading my voice became quieter and I stumbled on several words throughout it all. My nerves began to kick in and I got stuck on a word I couldn’t quite figure out how to say. Slowly panicking, my teacher came to my rescue by continuing the paragraph herself. I always had this struggle whenever I had to read in front of the class. I faced the same struggle when meeting someone new, ordering food, or going shopping and having to talk to the cashier. And just like in class, I had mentally prepared what I had to say in my head but it unfortunately never came out the way I wanted it to. For most of my life, I avoided these interactions, to not give myself another opportunity to mess up again. I figured it would be best if I just stayed home, fearing that I would make myself go through another embarrassing act. I wanted to be seen as the cool, outgoing person that everyone loves but I didn’t check off all of the checkmarks that needed to be made. I began to read self-help books on social anxiety trying to see if their tips and tricks would help me get out of this avoidance cycle that was restricting my life and depriving me of experiences. I learned that isolating myself in order to “protect” myself was not the right way to go about it. I realized that instead of dreaming of wanting to be more like this person in my head, why not at least try. I slowly began to change my perspective and outlook on interactions that I would before replay in my head over and over to find what mistakes were made. I finally had started high school and saw this as a fresh start. To try not to let the little things get the best of me. Not saying it was easy, I had my days where I thought it was all useless, but I still continued to put myself out there. I joined clubs but it was not a success as I still struggled to interact with others. It wasn’t until I joined the cross country team where I found my passion for running. Even though I still was uneasy about talking to others and wasn’t the best runner, I stayed because I fell in love with it. That passion soon helped me branch out and I got to meet my best friends. Now I’m voluntarily approaching people, giving advice as an upperclassman to my teammates trying not to focus on how awkward I may sound but to just get my message out there. I scream out their names during a race, coach them on the sidelines, and that’s something that I never saw myself doing. Although I still get the same thoughts and fears when facing situations this time I don’t let it stop me. I don’t let it stop me from continuing to face them. These experiences that I have now due to the change in my mentality have brought me so many new people in my life and have helped me make memories I will never forget. Facing these challenges I once avoided, had turned themselves into my greatest achievements because, without them, I never would have grown into the person I am today. All the people including myself would be strangers to me. So I continue to live my life, despite the embarrassing moments and mistakes I make throughout it because I know I’m human and I’m stronger than the thoughts that once held me back. Going forward with college and even my future career, I will use this same mindset to surpass any barriers that restrict me from what I want to achieve. My intentions before were a way to try to escape feelings of fear but facing my challenges head-on, left me with a much better feeling of accomplishment.

I never wanted to miss a day of school. Missing a day felt like a punishment and I begged my mom to take me even when I was sick. My parents always saw the potential and love I had for school. Growing up with immigrant parents, I knew all they wanted was to give me a better life and for them, a great education would grant me that. Living in a poor neighborhood, they knew my elementary school didn’t have the best education and began to search for ways to transfer me to a better middle school. My parents soon discovered the program, No Child Left Behind. A program that gave children from low-income places a chance to go to a middle school outside of their area while giving them bus transportation. The education I received there had prepared me so much and soon I was looking for a high school. I had to enter a lottery to attend the one I planned to go to because I lived outside of the area and luckily I got in. Since middle school, I dreamed of being in the STEM field and decided to join the engineering academy at my school. I explored the advanced courses for science and math and took a summer math class to widen the scope of my interests. I joined the Women in Science and Engineering Club that arranged visits to places where I got to meet women in male-dominated fields. Other than the engineering-related activities, I became a member of the California Scholarship Federation and got a leadership role where I helped students with volunteering. My friends and I formed the club, Letters for Care. Being the secretary of the club, I arranged all the events while communicating with club members. This club focused on delivering letters to our local healthcare workers and seniors that we thought might need a helpful note during the pandemic. My high school also helped me discover my love for running and I soon joined cross country and track. My passion for art has grown over the years. I saved up money to buy new art supplies and sketchbooks that have made their place as a pile in my room. I spend hours perfecting my painting skills, exploring new techniques. For a while, I focused a lot on drawing architecture but over time I became curious about other forms of art. I now try to range my skills in drawing portraits, animals, and interior design. Art has helped me express myself without having to put it into words. It made me appreciate all of life’s little things and helped me find the beauty in everything. It’s helped me with my perfectionism and I realized that flaws can be made into something unique. I know that higher education will give me the chance to pursue the desires that I've held onto for so long. I will be able to live my life doing something I love. I want to become that architectural engineer that would make up one of the few women in the STEM field. Knowing that my parents tried so hard to get me to this point, I want to keep ongoing. Although my parents can’t really afford to get me a higher education such as paying for college, I’m eager to look for other ways to get to my goals. I’m already thankful enough that I managed to receive a great education growing up with their help. Education has helped me grow as a person and learning more helps me gain a greater knowledge of the world.

I still remember seeing the tiredness in my mom’s eyes as she looked at me and smiled. As a child, I knew that breast cancer was not something to smile about. With all of her treatments, all the energy was sucked out of her. Her sleepless nights filled with constant pain had placed a great fear in me but still, she told me to keep on smiling. My mom was never one to take a break regardless of whether she was exhausted or not. It was best to get up on her feet and keep herself busy because to her, life was all about action. Despite the doctor telling her to rest, she always felt the need to do something. In her troubling journey battling cancer, she would conceal her dismay to put the worries of others at ease. Constantly trying to bring comfort to people around her, made her become someone that no one ever forgets. There’s no other person in the world who I find stronger than my mom, although with her height being at 4’11, others may say otherwise just by looking at her. However, she had fought one of the greatest battles in life and that is what inspires me to this day. Growing up, I was often told how my mom was like a superhero. Known for her resilience and courage, she managed to look out for others. She has given many individuals strength even when she was the one that needed it the most. Years have passed since she fought cancer and her story is still shared with new people. The way she was able to teach a type of mentality that encourages people to keep going despite the challenges life brings, is the reason I look up to her so much. I aspire to have the same impact on others and that will define my legacy. I want to fulfill my purpose on this big blue marble we live on. If I am able to transform the lives of at least one person, then I did exactly what I wanted. It’s how I want my legacy to be because it’s all about leaving something special to someone that they could hold on to. I want to be remembered for my actions and words just like how I will always carry on the words that my mom has told me. All of her love and strength she has given out has rescued so many from their dark places. I take many of my mom’s wise words to heart but there’s one thing that is close to home. It’s one piece of advice: keep on smiling.