Throughout my life, I have loved to create. I started to draw as soon as I could hold a pencil. Movies were extremely fascinating to me; I would write a report on each one after I watched them. I would design clothes and make my brothers model them. There was no form of art left untouched. Ideas would always be flowing in and out of my head. From a young age, I knew that whatever I ended up doing as a job needed to let me have a creative outlet. All my life, I have struggled with mental illness and my sexuality. As a child, I would burn myself. I did not know why I did this, but it felt like a release. I learned that I could feel the same release by expressing myself in a healthy way. If I felt drawn to burning my skin, I would start a painting instead. Self harm is in no way an easy thing to overcome, especially at such a young age. I am lucky that my parents introduced something so important to me in my youth. I truly believe that art saved my life many times. Art forms were the only way for me to truly express how I was feeling. The only healthy distraction I have had was creating. I turn to it when I am not only extremely low, but extremely high. It is something that can be there for me always. Instead of explaining to my loved ones how I felt with words, I would often draw them a picture. No one quite understands how my brain works, so I feel like it is easier for people to try to understand through art. Art is the most personal part of my life. Pursuing a degree in film and media is one of the best decisions I have ever made. It allows me to put my ideas into physical form. I love to share my ideas with others while also listening to creative minds. I wish to be able to share my stories with others. As a queer black woman, I have not seen many people like me represented in the media. Helping people through art is extremely beautiful and rewarding, especially because that is what saved my life. Sharing messages is all I have ever wanted to do. With this degree, I can learn the tools needed to share my messages and ideas in a way that will impact countless people. I want to make a difference, even if it is only one person.

This piece represents the themes and deeper meanings of a book that changed my life, The Secret History. Books and art have in many ways changed and saved my life, and I am grateful that I am able to share this important part of myself. “ The Secret History is an inverted detective story narrated by one of the six students, Richard Papen, who reflects years later upon the situation that led to the murder of their friend Edmund "Bunny" Corcoran – wherein the events leading up to the murder are revealed sequentially.” This is a work of art in book form about the grey areas of morality and what is truly “right” or “wrong.” Henry wants to reach a greater state of being but can’t find it in normal ways of life. He longs to lose himself and be free. “…what could be more terrible and beautiful, than to lose control completely?” Henry goes at extreme lengths to achieve this, bringing his peers into the equation, eventually getting in a situation of blackmail. As the months go on of constantly watching what he does and negativity following him everywhere he goes, he gradually loses his sanity. Henry prefers to feel like he is above everyone and loves to be in control of everything around him. He tries to fix his problems by more drastic, vile measures, inevitably creating more problems. Henry can not tell the difference between extreme intelligence, lack of morality, and obsession. The red ribbon represents his tie to his past and the death of his old self. As he fell deeper into madness, more of him died. The color red represents passionate emotion, such as anger and obsession. The blues and purples represent sorrow, death, and loneliness. Henry feels loneliness because he feels as if he’s above them all and they don’t understand anything at his level. The reason he’s doing everything he does is because he wants to achieve a higher level of living. In my opinion, this dates back to his accident. He felt like a normal person, then turned to reading in most of his free time; it is all he could do. Henry then dropped out and found other ways to be superior in college. It is still not good enough for him. The background color is what I imagine a mix between obsession and beauty would look like. It is still a warm color, but soft at the same time. It represents the beauty in obsession and how everything molds together. It is not one clear line. “Death is the mother of beauty.” and “Beauty is terror.” are perfect quotes to encompass the meaning of the painting. Henry symbolizes beauty because of his intelligence and demeanor. The skeleton symbolizes death in all aspects. His morality and sanity “died” along with his old self. This painting is homage to Michaelangelo’s Creation of Adam. Henry feels like he is all powerful, like a creation straight from an angel. Like in the painting, Adam is on the left as is Henry, and the angel reaching out to him is on the right, like the skeleton's hand. I chose The Creation of Adam because of the events that happened when Henry created a new version of himself.