I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

Being incarcerated, time stops. Your world pauses, but the world of your family and friends keeps turning. As of four years ago, I am a convicted felon. Conspiracy to commit murder is now a label placed upon me. I was 16 years old when I first became incarcerated. I am now 20. I have been in four different facilities: juvenile detention, county jail, prison, and a juvenile rehabilitation center. I am currently serving 15 years of prison time. I have done four years of that 15 already. I have changed my mindset in the four years I have been incarcerated. I grew up being taught by my dad that you are what you do, or in a more common saying, your actions and choices define who you are. In the last four years, I have learned differently. I have learned that I define who I am, and my choices and actions cause my mistakes and successes. I am a daughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, student, personal trainer, mentor, teacher's assistant, peer counselor, a groomer/dog trainer, and a woman that was lost. I am a woman that is discovering who she is and what her purpose is. I am in my second year of college. I am working on my AA transfer degree. I have taken and passed the certification class to become a personal trainer and level 1 mentor. I’m in the process of becoming a certified peer counselor, I am also in the process of becoming a certified groomer. I have completed Aggression Replacement Therapy (ART) and I am in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). I graduated from Girls Advocacy and Impact Network (GAIN). I have taken a finances class, so I know how to work with my finances while I am incarcerated and after I am incarcerated.

Something that I learned that changed my perspective of my life was to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. Never give up!

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

Joy means to find things that make me happy. Joy means to do things you enjoy doing. I find joy in reading and in writing poetry. Not What I Thought Change from one place to another But it's all the same... I wish the years I just wish the years could go by like tears One after another... Until my time is done I want to go home See my family Wear my own clothes Eat what I want to Sleep when I choose to Have the ability to lock and unlock my door as I please I never would have thought I would be in this position I used to watch tv I swore I would never be here That I would never wear this orange But here I sit wearing that exact orange In a juvenile prison for females Looking at 15 years Almost 3 down Well that never turned to 15 years here But let me tell you this... Places like this can humble a person a lot more than one would think Hope sometimes seems so far away Hope is so close it's almost touchable, sometimes I may feel hopeless a lot of the time But hope is the only thing that holds me together Hope is all the world has right now Hope can get us through Help Offered Patiently by Everyone We have to hope in each other Help each other Hope Believe Smile Have fun Love one another Hope is what is holding me down Hope is my foundation I believe in others I believe in myself I love others around me The most important thing for me right now is... To hope that everything is going to be okay I hope my hope is enough And I believe my hope IS enough!

I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I want to be known as the girl that got locked up at the age of 16 and she turned a negative situation into something of hope and how she helped others even when she struggled. I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Never give up!

Something that I learned that changed my perspective of my life was to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. Never give up!

Something that I learned that changed my perspective of my life was to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. Never give up!

Something that I learned that changed my perspective of my life was to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. Never give up!

I admire Mary Jane Patterson because she was the first African-American to get her bachelors degree in 1862. I admire her because I feel like I kind of understand her. I am not and African-American but I am incarcerated and I feel like education is one of the last things the justice system worries about, in the facility I am in I will be the first to ever graduate from college. I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems.

My favorite way of helping others is through generosity. Generosity means giving without expecting anything back, at least that's what it means to me. I feel like if I'm generous with others then one day in life someone will give back to me when I need it the most. I love giving to people, especially when they really need it because even the smallest thing can change a persons world. Generosity can give someone hope. I've always been the person to go to if someone needed something because I would give it to them if I had it or not, if I didn't have what they needed they I would help them find it. Being generous to people not only makes the other people happy but it also makes me happy to see that it has been able to make a slight change in their lives. When I first became incarcerated I didn't have anything for myself because my family doesn't have money to help me, so when I needed something I worked for it. I braided hair, threaded eyebrows, and cooked for people. At one point I was doing braids for 20 to 30 dollars because I did them tight but I didn't hurt their heads when I was braiding and the braids lasted weeks if they left them in. I was doing so well that when new people came in and had nothing I would give them things so they weren't going without, especially since I knew what it felt like to go without.

Something that I love about myself is how determined I am. I love this about myself because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I love to read, it puts me into another world and it makes me smile to think of all the different stories I've read. I am currently reading 'The Outsiders' which is a sad but inspirational book. I love fantasy and romance books the most. I am working on trying to buy the book series 'Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter' and 'The Black Dagger Brotherhood' book series. I strongly believe that reading helps me with my moods because I was diagnosed with severe depression, bi-polar, and border line multiple personality disorder. When I am reading I am the happiest me I could possibly be. Something else that makes me happy is writing poetry. Here is one of my poems: Does She See Me? By Fe Hadley I wonder if she even sees me I’m so tired of standing in the background Being used when people want something Then thrown aside when I’m not needed Well you know what? I’m fed-up with everyone’s shit I’m tired I’m holding on by threads I put everyone first But I’m the last person people think of, for anything I do so much for everyone It’s like everything I do is forgotten Well you know what, I’m done I do things for people and I get yelled at So you all can do it on your own Does she see me? Does anyone see me? Or am I trying too hard to be seen? So does she see me as the friend I’m trying to be? Am I still invisible to everyone? I’m done being invisible So… See me, world See me for who I am not for what people want you to see me as Because I’m here just like everyone else But I’m different so don’t be shocked I have hopes and dreams too

Something that I learned that changed my perspective of my life was to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. Never give up!

I love to read, it puts me into another world and it makes me smile to think of all the different stories I've read. I am currently reading 'The Outsiders' which is a sad but inspirational book. I love fantasy and romance books the most. I am working on trying to buy the book series 'Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter' and 'The Black Dagger Brotherhood' book series. I strongly believe that reading helps me with my moods because I was diagnosed with severe depression, bi-polar, and border line multiple personality disorder. When I am reading I am the happiest me I could possibly be. Something else that makes me happy is writing poetry. Here is one of my poems: Does She See Me? By Fe Hadley I wonder if she even sees me I’m so tired of standing in the background Being used when people want something Then thrown aside when I’m not needed Well you know what? I’m fed-up with everyone’s shit I’m tired I’m holding on by threads I put everyone first But I’m the last person people think of, for anything I do so much for everyone It’s like everything I do is forgotten Well you know what, I’m done I do things for people and I get yelled at So you all can do it on your own Does she see me? Does anyone see me? Or am I trying too hard to be seen? So does she see me as the friend I’m trying to be? Am I still invisible to everyone? I’m done being invisible So… See me, world See me for who I am not for what people want you to see me as Because I’m here just like everyone else But I’m different so don’t be shocked I have hopes and dreams too

As of four years ago, I am a convicted felon. Conspiracy to commit murder is now a label placed upon me. I was 16 years old when I first became incarcerated. I am now 20. I have been in four different facilities: juvenile detention, county jail, prison, and I am currently in a juvenile rehabilitation center. I am currently serving 15 years of prison time. I have done four years of that 15 already. I have changed my mindset in the four years I have been incarcerated. I grew up being taught by my dad that you are what you do, or in a more common saying, your actions and choices define who you are. In the last four years, I have learned differently. I have learned that I define who I am, and my choices and actions cause my mistakes and successes. So in the last four years, I have participated in different clubs, groups, certifications, and schools, trying to figure out who I am. What I have discovered in the last four years is: I am a daughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, student, personal trainer, mentor, teacher's assistant, peer counselor, a groomer/dog trainer, and a woman that was lost. I am a woman that is discovering who she is and what her purpose is. I have spent a lot of my life trying to please everyone around me, which has caused me not to set aside time to take care of myself. When incarcerated, there is nothing but time. I have thrown myself into almost every group/club that has been offered to me, going in head first determined to give everything a chance. I am in my second year of college. I am working on my AA transfer degree. I have taken and passed the certification class to become a personal trainer and level 1 mentor. I’m in the process of becoming a certified peer counselor, I am also in the process of becoming a certified groomer. I have completed Aggression Replacement Therapy (ART) and I am in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). I graduated from Girls Advocacy and Impact Network (GAIN). I have taken a finances class, so I know how to work with my finances while I am incarcerated and after I am incarcerated. I have truly spent the last four years trying to figure out who I am, what I like, and how to forgive myself and others that have hurt me in the past. I’ve always heard the saying, forgive and forget, but when I think of this saying, I think more along the lines, I will forgive, but I will never forget. I say I will never forget. If I forgot the mistake/situation that caused me to learn something important, I would have learned it for nothing because then I would forget the lesson I learned, along with the mistake/situation. Without all the things that have happened to me in my life, I would not be who I am today. I would not have all the opportunities that I have now. I would not have my life story to share with everyone. If I were not who I am now, I probably would not be filling out this scholarship application. I would not be my person. I would not be doing something that I am passionate about doing.

As of four years ago, I am a convicted felon. Conspiracy to commit murder is now a label placed upon me. I was 16 years old when I first became incarcerated. I am now 20. I have been in four different facilities: juvenile detention, county jail, prison, and I am currently in a juvenile rehabilitation center. I am currently serving 15 years of prison time. I have done four years of that 15 already. I have changed my mindset in the four years I have been incarcerated. I grew up being taught by my dad that you are what you do, or in a more common saying, your actions and choices define who you are. In the last four years, I have learned differently. I have learned that I define who I am, and my choices and actions cause my mistakes and successes. So in the last four years, I have participated in different clubs, groups, certifications, and schools, trying to figure out who I am. What I have discovered in the last four years is: I am a daughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, student, personal trainer, mentor, teacher's assistant, peer counselor, a groomer/dog trainer, and a woman that was lost. I am a woman that is discovering who she is and what her purpose is. I have spent a lot of my life trying to please everyone around me, which has caused me not to set aside time to take care of myself. When incarcerated, there is nothing but time. I have thrown myself into almost every group/club that has been offered to me, going in head first determined to give everything a chance. I am in my second year of college. I am working on my AA transfer degree. I have taken and passed the certification class to become a personal trainer and level 1 mentor. I’m in the process of becoming a certified peer counselor, I am also in the process of becoming a certified groomer. I have completed Aggression Replacement Therapy (ART) and I am in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). I graduated from Girls Advocacy and Impact Network (GAIN). I have taken a finances class, so I know how to work with my finances while I am incarcerated and after I am incarcerated. I have truly spent the last four years trying to figure out who I am, what I like, and how to forgive myself and others that have hurt me in the past. I’ve always heard the saying, forgive and forget, but when I think of this saying, I think more along the lines, I will forgive, but I will never forget. I say I will never forget. If I forgot the mistake/situation that caused me to learn something important, I would have learned it for nothing because then I would forget the lesson I learned, along with the mistake/situation. Without all the things that have happened to me in my life, I would not be who I am today. I would not have all the opportunities that I have now. I would not have my life story to share with everyone. If I were not who I am now, I probably would not be filling out this scholarship application. I would not be my person. I would not be doing something that I am passionate about doing.

My best skill is writing poetry to inspire people. I plan to improve it by continuing to write and try new things in my writing. Here is one of my poems: Where I’m From By Fe Hadley July 12, 2021 I am from education, From baby food and dog food I am from verbal abuse Berating, blame, Tasting like bitter vinegar I am from sunflowers Whose yellow petals were my sunshine in the darkest of days I am from cherry-pineapple up-side-down cake and aggression From Hadley and Chisholm I’m from the abuse and love From you are a worthless piece of shit You are my princess however you are I’m from be strong and courageous, And Father, help me I’m lost I’m from Tacoma and a little bit of everything else, From carnitas asada and jambalaya From the Native American tribes of Navaho, Blackfoot, and Cherokee I’m in the justice system Every picture and letter lost Never knowing if they’ll be found again To be looked at and read, have loving hands hold them again I am from before my parents loved each other Always dreaming my parents would get along I am from the moments of my parents drunkenness On the run to get away from it all Not sure how to handle any of it Always fighting a new battle These battles will soon end.

I want to study creative writing because I love writing poetry. My hopes and dream is to publish a book of my poems, maybe even two. I wish to help people who are struggling know that they aren't along in their struggle and that there are people in this world that care about them. Here is one poem I wrote: Not What I Thought By Fe Hadley October 7, 2020 Change from one place to another But it's all the same... I wish the years I just wish the years could go by like tears One after another... Until my time is done I want to go home See my family Wear my own clothes Eat what I want to Sleep when I choose to Have the ability to lock and unlock my door as I please I never would have thought I would be in this position I used to watch tv I swore I would never be here That I would never wear this orange But here I sit wearing that exact orange In a juvenile prison for females Looking at 15 years Almost 3 down Well that never turned to 15 years here But let me tell you this... Places like this can humble a person a lot more than one would think Hope sometimes seems so far away Hope is so close it's almost touchable, sometimes I may feel hopeless a lot of the time But hope is the only thing that holds me together Hope is all the world has right now Hope can get us through Help Offered Patiently by Everyone We have to hope in each other Help each other Hope Believe Smile Have fun Love one another Hope is what is holding me down Hope is my foundation I believe in others I believe in myself I love others around me The most important thing for me right now is... To hope that everything is going to be okay I hope my hope is enough And I believe my hope IS enough! I have been struggling through out my entire life and I thought I was alone but I now know that I'm not alone and I want to help others to know that they aren't alone in their struggles. Here is another poem I wrote about where I come from: Where I’m From By Fe Hadley July 12, 2021 I am from education, From baby food and dog food I am from verbal abuse Berating, blame, Tasting like bitter vinegar I am from sunflowers Whose yellow petals were my sunshine in the darkest of days I am from cherry-pineapple up-side-down cake and aggression From Hadley and Chisholm I’m from the abuse and love From you are a worthless piece of shit You are my princess however you are I’m from be strong and courageous, And Father, help me I’m lost I’m from Tacoma and a little bit of everything else, From carnitas asada and jambalaya From the Native American tribes of Navaho, Blackfoot, and Cherokee I’m in the justice system Every picture and letter lost Never knowing if they’ll be found again To be looked at and read, have loving hands hold them again I am from before my parents loved each other Always dreaming my parents would get along I am from the moments of my parents drunkenness On the run to get away from it all Not sure how to handle any of it Always fighting a new battle These battles will soon end.

I feel like the best way for society to effectively empower women is to not require them to fit into one category to be considered the "right kind of woman". I feel like society at large has a majority of people that make women feel like they have to dress, act, and strive to achieve their standards to be accepted. But the best way to empower women it to take those requirements away and accept each and every woman exactly as she is. As a woman myself I believe each and every woman is beautiful in her own ways weather she is wearing pjs, or in workout clothes, sweat pants and a baggy shirt, or all dressed up, each of us are beautiful. One of my favorite women empowerment quotes is, "Dream with ambition, lead with conviction, and see yourself in ways that others might not see, simply because they've never seen it before"- By Vice President Kamala Harris. This is one of my favorite women empowerment quotes because we have to see ourselves in ways others don't because if we see ourselves the ways others do then we would always be trying to change for them when it shouldn't be like that. We should only change for ourselves if we want to. I feel like a good song to explain what I'm trying to say is 'She's Everything' by Brad Paisley. Here are the lyrics: She's a yellow pair of running shoes/ A holey pair of jeans/ She looks great in cheap sunglasses/ She looks great in anything/ She's: "I want a piece of chocolate."/ "Take me to a movie."/ She's: "I can't find a thing to wear."/ Now and then she's moody/ She's a Saturn with a sunroof/ With her brown hair a-blowing/ She's a soft place to land/ And a good feeling knowing/ She's a warm conversation/ That I wouldn't miss for nothing/ She's a fighter when she's mad/ And she's a lover when she's loving/ And she's everything I ever wanted/ And everything I need/ I talk about her/ I go on and on, and on/ 'Cause she's everything to me/ She's a Saturday out on the town/ And a church girl on Sunday/ She's a cross around her neck/ And a cuss word 'cause it's Monday/ She's a bubble bath and candles/ Baby, come and kiss me/ She's a one glass of wine/ And she's feeling kinda tipsy/ She's the giver I wish I could be/ And the stealer of the covers/ She's a picture in my wallet/ Of my unborn children's mother/ She's the hand that I'm holding/ When I'm on my knees and praying/ She's the answer to my prayer/ And she's the song that I'm playing/ And she's everything I ever wanted/ And everything I need/ I talk about her/ I go on and on, and on/ 'Cause she's everything to me/ She's the voice I love to hear/ Someday when I'm ninety/ She's that wooden rocking chair/ I want rocking right beside me/ Every day that passes/ I only love her more/ Yeah, she's the one/ That I'd lay down my own life for/ And she's everything I ever wanted/ And everything I need/ She's everything to me/ Yeah, she's everything to me/ Everything I ever wanted/ And everything I need/ She's everything to me

Fall Down, Get Back Up- by Surviving Child 1) One Step At a Time- by Jordin Sparks 2) Rainbow- by Kacy Musgraves 3) Most Girls- by Hailee Steinfeld 4) Brave- by Sara Bareilles 5) How Far I'll Go- by Auli'i Cravalho 6) Redeemed- by Big Daddy Weave 7) You're Gonna Be Okay- by Jenn Johnson

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I didn't feel alone. They treated me like a normal person, my family abused me and treated me horribly. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. They treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. My dream life looks like my dad supporting my in my dreams and goal, it also looks like I'm no longer incarcerated and I am helping people that are incarcerated with their mental health problems so they have a better chance in society when they get out.

Something that I learned that changed my perspective of my life was to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. So if I could share one sentence with the world it would be, to never give up!

I have been incarcerated for four years and I don't have the attitude most do after a year of being incarcerated because I am positive and optimistic. I have been a big sister/mentor to quite a few people I've been incarcerated with and I always hope I can inspire hope in them that anything is possible. Just like I have to keep inspiring myself from day to day. In the four years that I have been incarcerated I have gotten my GED, became a certified personal trainer, certified level one mentor, earned 34 college credit, became a dog trainer, I got T.A. job, started a grooming course to become a certified dog groomer, and I am going to be starting a cosmetology program. I am working on writing a book of poems and I help do all the art for any major holiday for the facility I'm in. But with all of those things under my belt I still crave the time I spend mentoring others because all of the things I've done I did to prove that I could when people told me I couldn't. I also did it to prove to myself and to the people I mentor that it is possible to do the things people say that we can't do because we have a record. I stay true to myself in my daily life by mentoring others because it reminds me of where I used to be and where I am now. Of all the things I have achieved and did to show myself, as much as everyone else, that I can do anything.

I hope to inspire hope through my mentorship of others. I have been incarcerated for four years and I don't have the attitude most do after a year of being incarcerated because I am positive and optimistic. I have been a big sister/mentor to quite a few people I've been incarcerated with and I always hope I can inspire hope in them that anything is possible. In the four years that I have been incarcerated I have gotten my GED, became a certified personal trainer, certified level one mentor, earned 34 college credit, became a dog trainer, I got T.A. job, started a grooming course to become a certified dog groomer, and I am going to be starting a cosmetology program. I am working on writing a book of poems and I help do all the art for any major holiday for the facility I'm in. But with all of those things under my belt I still crave the time I spend mentoring others because all of the things I've done I did to prove that I could when people told me I couldn't. I also did it to prove to myself and to the people I mentor that it is possible to do the things people say that we can't do because we have a record.

My favorite way of helping others is through generosity. Generosity means giving without expecting anything back, at least that's what it means to me. I feel like if I'm generous with others then one day in life someone will give back to me when I need it the most. I love giving to people, especially when they really need it because even the smallest thing can change a persons world. Generosity can give someone hope. I've always been the person to go to if someone needed something because I would give it to them if I had it or not, if I didn't have what they needed they I would help them find it. Being generous to people not only makes the other people happy but it also makes me happy to see that it has been able to make a slight change in their lives. When I first became incarcerated I didn't have anything for myself because my family doesn't have money to help me, so when I needed something I worked for it. I braided hair, threaded eyebrows, and cooked for people. At one point I was doing braids for 20 to 30 dollars because I did them tight but I didn't hurt their heads when I was braiding and the braids lasted weeks if they left them in. I was doing so well that when new people came in and had nothing I would give them things so they weren't going without, especially since I knew what it felt like to go without.

If I could share one sentence with the world it would be to never give up, because I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. They treated me like a normal person, where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. Once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed, I knew I had to take the steps to change it in the future for others. So if I could share one sentence with the world it would be, to never give up!

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. My dad never thought I would be going to college because of my mental health disorders and then I became incarcerated, so then he really didn't believed I would go to school. I believe one change that would make education better for future generations would be to make it available to everyone and make it more valuable. And the best way to help people with mental health is if education was more available to people who could be of help to people with mental health problems. I have spent the last four years believing my dad that I would never go to college and make anything of myself but here I am with 34 college credit done. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out. I am now in college and have taken certifications that I will be able to use after I am released. I am fighting to show that I can do anything I put my mind to. I can achieve the unthinkable!

The wises thing that I hold close to my heart is, 'you may be pushed down seven times but you get back up eight times.' This is the wises thing I've heard because I got bullied throughout school and then I got locked up, went to trial, and I am now doing an appeal to go back to trail because my trial was unfair. I never really understood that saying until I became incarcerated because once incarcerated everything I do has been documented, watched, and observed. My every move is taken with a grain of salt and I have been knocked down a lot but I refuse to stay down, I get back up to keep going. I was put in a juvenile detention center at the age of 16, then at 18 I went to county jail, at 19 I went to prison, and then I was moved to a children's rehabilitation center because I was a juvenile when I was charged. I was knocked down in juvie by bullies, in county I was knocked down by my mental health disorders because I was in my room for 23 hours a day at the age of 18 by myself, I was knocked down in prison by being put into a quarantine pod and expected to know where everything was and the rules, and in the juvenile rehabilitation center I have been knocked down many times by bullies, my family not believing I can make something of myself, and covid-19. The wise-word, 'you may be pushed down seven times but you get back up eight times,' will always be with me, forever and always.

Generosity means giving without expecting anything back, at least that's what it means to me. I feel like if I'm generous with others then one day in life someone will give back to me when I need it the most. I love giving to people, especially when they really need it because even the smallest thing can change a persons world. Generosity can give someone hope. I've always been the person to go to if someone needed something because I would give it to them if I had it or not, if I didn't have what they needed they I would help them find it. Being generous to people not only makes the other people happy but it also makes me happy to see that it has been able to make a slight change in their lives. When I first became incarcerated I didn't have anything for myself because my family doesn't have money to help me, so when I needed something I worked for it. I braided hair, threaded eyebrows, and cooked for people. At one point I was doing braids for 20 to 30 dollars because I did them tight but I didn't hurt their heads when I was braiding and the braids lasted weeks if they left them in. I was doing so well that when new people came in and had nothing I would give them things so they weren't going without, especially since I knew what it felt like to go without.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I have spent most of my life with mental health disorders and that causes me to be an out cast at school, at home, and I was bullied. The people I surrounded myself with had mental health issues so I wouldn't feel alone any more. I had the friends I had because they made me feel accepted but they weren't the best people for me to be around. But they treated me like a normal person where my family abused me and treated me horribly because I wasn't the perfect child. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released. This scholarship would help me take the first couple of steps towards fulfilling my dream in helping people that I have spent the last four years around. This scholarship would give me the chance I would never have had if I hadn't found bold.org. I have always been interested in psychology but once I became incarcerated and knew what it felt like to be locked in a cell and be stuck in my head with all my mental health disorders and not have the help that I needed. Being incarcerated for four years and being moved through four different facilities and not having mental health help has put my mind into helping those that are incarcerated with their mental health because I personally know what it is like to be in a cell for 23 hours a day with one hour out.

I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I have no one helping me with my mental health. I struggle with severe depression, severe anxiety, boarder-line multiple personality disorder, PTSD, bipolar, and OCD. I don't think putting people on medications is the only and most effective way to help people with mental health, I think things like art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and mindfulness exercises can also help people that struggle with mental health problems. Make mental health help more available to people who need it. I feel like people that are incarcerated need mental health help more than most because they sit in a cell with the same four walls for months, years, and sometimes for life but they don't receive the help unless they are literally going crazy, talking to people that aren't there or screaming and hitting the wall with their entire bodies because there was a demon there, ect. But people like me that can still live life they don't want to help because it isn't severe enough for them to care. I now dream of getting a degree in art therapy, music therapy, counseling, and psychology so I can start the process of helping those that are incarcerated with mental health problems because I feel like it is very important that they get the help that they need in there so they don't come out into the community and not be prepare to deal with the emotional overload of the world, because while being incarcerated the world stops for you but in the community the world keeps spinning and advancing so there is a lot to take in when released.

Being patient is important to me because if I didn't have patience then I wouldn't be the person I am today. I learned to have patience with the people around me and myself because if I didn't have patience than I probably wouldn't be doing this scholarship application, I might not even be alive... I was abused growing up in almost every way possible but I kept being patience, even though I probably shouldn't have been. I am currently incarcerated, over the last four years I have been told I'll never be anything and I'll never achieve anything in my life. With patience I am now a certified personal trainer, certified mentor, I am working on my certification of dog grooming, I'm in college (I am almost done with my AA), I am a TA, and I am going to be joining a cosmetology program with in the next two months. Being patience is important to me because without it I wouldn't be who I am today and I wouldn't be doing all the things I am today.

I want to make a book of all the poems I've written since I have been incarcerated and get it published. For the last four years, I have been incarcerated, and all of my poems are about my experiences while being incarcerated, and of emotions, I've felt but didn't know how to share with other people verbally, so I put them into poems that I have gradually started to share with people. I want to use my poetry as the first couple of steps towards helping people that are incarcerated with mental health because in the justice system mental health is one of the last things that are thought about. I want to help make a change, starting with something I love to do, writing poetry.

Something that gives me hope about the future is the appeal I am doing right now for a charge that I have been fighting for four years now and I have accomplished a lot in the last four years that I can take to court with me. This appeal has given me hope that society will give me a second chance to explain what really happened. With this appeal it has also given me the chance to show society that I am not sitting on my butt doing nothing, I have actually been doing a lot, including college. Getting my college education will help me fulfill my dream of helping people that don't get a lot of help, and that gives me hope because I know personally what it feels like to not have anyone there to help me. I have spent the last four years supporting myself and being there for myself because in this environment no one helps anyone else because that kindness is seen for weakness. I have hope that with my college education I can help people like the ones I've been incarcerated with.