“Have courage and be kind,” something I learned from Cinderella, and remember because of this painting's journey. I first had the idea for this painting a year before I started it. I put it in the back of my mind, always having the fear I would not be able to execute it, having doubts in my skills as a painter, but it was something I dreamed about making. So, when I took a painting class and was given the opportunity to paint a self-portrait for the final project, my mind instantly knew what I was going to do, I set my plan for this painting into motion. When I told my teacher about my ideas, he told me “I trust you,” this gave me a whole new level of confidence and desire to bring my vision to life. I had 3 weeks, I painted day and night every moment I got. Each day the painting looked more and more beautiful and the day for my final came, getting a chance to take a couple steps back and stare at the painting in front of me, but sadly, I did not finish it. All the confidence and excitement I had, disappeared. I had to carry my incomplete painting to campus; all I wanted to do was just stay home and accept my defeat in silence. I was the only person in the class with incomplete work. I told myself a multitude of things I did wrong, you should have worked faster, you were on your phone, everything which distracted me was at fault. To face my professor, who had put trust in me, I could only think I let him and myself down. I was truly a fool to think I had the skills to complete something so ambitious. My fears resurfacing. I got stuck in my head, and it made me forget the message behind the painting, kindness. “An Indulgence of Kindness,” the title I gave it, is a depiction of how I view and share kindness. From a distance I will be seen as selfish, but there are 3 plates, each plate with a slice of cake representing a person in my life and how much kindness they truly deserve. However, I eat as much as I want, because no matter what everyone else does, I should be most kind to myself, especially when I fail. I was not kind, I was hateful at the worst time, when I needed to uplift myself, I brought myself down. So, I had to take a breath and learn from this experience. I came back to the painting with kindness, I sat back down and got to work, painting over my mistakes and filling in the areas left incomplete. Every day I had the fear I would just make it worse, but with some courage, I told myself “I will finish this painting, and it will be great.” With the ups and downs of my journey I finished it, and I was in shock, I truly did it. I felt an overwhelming amount of emotion to look at my idea no longer just exciting in my head or sketches, but in real life in layers of paint and labor, a passion project reaching its end. I still have fears when approaching new projects, fearing the outcome isn't going to be what I wanted, or that I don't have the skills, but I learned from this experience to “Have courage and be kind,” cause with those simple words I can create anything and will be magical.

Don't look back, I keep telling myself. Look at what the future can offer you. I am sometimes scared of growing up, going into the world, and my joy and experiences all going away. I know the world is complicated and I can't change it in a day to suit me. I can't even learn everything in the world to ease my discomfort. Life is sometimes uncomfortable and strange. It brings you people when you least expect it. When I made the decision to go far for college it was scary, being in a new place, it was like being in a wild forest. The first semester I didn't make any friends, but the second semester I met some friends, and they introduced me to their friends and now suddenly, I had a group of people that uplifted me. Meeting them makes me feel proud of my decision. The announcement of “The Wild Robot” sent chills through my body. I am a huge fan of Dreamworks, so I knew this was something which was not going to disappoint. The first time I was introduced to this story, I related so much to Roz, someone coming to a new place and not really belonging. Any efforts to fit in just made it worse. Then when she is required to be a mother to Brightbill, she is put into this situation in which she must approach it differently, changing the way she interacts with Brightbill and the other animals. Which is similar to how I had to approach this new place and people, but the changes weren't just for others but myself, these people brought the best out of me. A shy person was becoming bright and amazing, like a sun. I was growing up, something I had previously feared, I was now embracing. I know there is going to be a point when I leave college. The people I have met here I might never see again, and the movie has taught me it is okay to let go and leave. This was a wonderful experience, and I will never forget it. The movie's style was breathtaking like an actual Van Gogh, moving right before my eyes. As someone who loves to write stories and draw, movies like “The Wild Robot” inspire me to bring stories to life and give them a new representation. The opportunity to work in the animation industry is a dream of mine, to work as a concept artist, on movies just like "The Wild Robot”. I will always carry the idea of facing challenging new places as I do belong, because I was put there for a reason.

“Guardian” a faint whisper, it tells me to “wake up” and its voice only getting louder. I woke up to a floating white cube, a Ghost that is what it was called. I don't know where I am. All I see around me is snow, destroyed cars, and a building. It tells me to go inside. I followed its directions into a building and fought my way through some of the ugliest creatures. They were alien pirates. I was a warlock. At first it seemed so out of place a warlock holding a gun, the mix of fantasy and Sci- Fi instantly got me hooked. Once I was able to use my magic to fight aliens it was over for them. I have followed the game Destiny over the years not only because of the game play but the artistry and creativity it took to make. My cousin first introduced me to this game in middle school and even now in college, I still play it, but only the first one because I don't have any space on my PS4 for the second one. I even introduced Destiny to my roommate and we both now play it. Also, the music which I occasionally listen to, beautifully composed, doesn't feel out of place but adds to the wonder. The environments I get to travel and see are so inspirational. The people who made this game really put a lot of effort into making this run-down world, infested with aliens look so beautiful, and when you walk around you get to stand and just look at the view. The silence in all the chaos happening around you. The game is truly transportive and while it is not a world I would choose to live in, being a warlock may just convince me. Fantasy has been at the center of my life for many years. I love the endless possibilities magic can give a person, and the adventures you go on with your friends. I have written stories and drawn characters, all just to get a sense of what it would be like to live in a world full of magic. Video games give me an escape which Movies and TV shows don't allow me. To see the world through my perspective, for me to be the hero. This level of detail and love has inspired me to create a story of my own. To create the visual/concept art for it. To graduate college and work in the animation, or gaming industry. I would like the chance to bring a story to life for others to see, to give inspiration to others as Destiny has given me.

It was my enemy, who no one else could see. Depression took something from me, something I cared deeply about. I have always been a creative person as a kid, I liked to draw and make stories to go along with them. The joy of just being free to create, my imagination having the wildest ideas. Depression sucked it from my soul leaving behind an empty shell of what I once was. All the light and creativity in my eyes turned dark. I didn't know Depression could have that power. They were strong at making sure I never picked up my pencil. I could see them laughing from the corner of my eye, this parasite. All I could think is I want my life back. It was out of my control, my body never felt mine. I was different to the people around me, while I saw everyone as butterflies, they saw someone that was no longer there. I tried to draw, but it never looked right. I ripped the page up, and threw it away, and from the corner someone was mocking me, I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted my revenge. To stick it in their face to no longer hear their laugh, to get my soul back. I had no idea where to start, but I took it one day at a time, setting small goals for myself. My biggest one was to graduate high school and get accepted into a college. Every mistake I made I heard him, but I didn't let him get the last laugh, I tried again. Depression grows weaker over time. It was like the warmth came back to my fingertips, a spark of what I once had, but different. I became a different person, but I liked this new version of myself. I took that spark and did everything I could to protect it, I started to enjoy drawing again. It wasn't great going so long without practice, but I didn't rip up the paper I hung it up. I saw that spark turn into a blazing hot fire. I was no longer an empty shell. I learned that I will never get back what Depression took from me, but I did make something new with what I was left with. I had to find new ways to feed my creativity, in some ways it felt like starting all over and having to learn it all again. I would have to say my family and friends never giving up on me really helped, their spark and joy helped me grow mine. I have every desire to prove to myself and stick it to Depression by now graduating college and entering my dream career as a visual and concept artist for animation. There for sure will be ups and downs, but I won't lose this new stronger fire to Depressions ever again.