In the summer of my sophomore year of high school, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I felt like I did not earn my achievements. My doctor had me go to the onsite therapist who saw me for six months. She retired during the pandemic, and I am in the process of getting into a new therapist. Mental illness is an invisible ailment that is easy to discredit. I have encountered many people who think it is an excuse to be lazy or mean. I wish to educate others on the reality of mental illness, not the romanticized depiction in media. Instead, the debilitating impacts it can have on hygiene, commitment, and relationships. Depression is not always the want to die; it is a prolonged down period. I find it hard to take care of my basic needs, like brushing my teeth every day. My school counselors described anxiety as being afraid on tests or feeling nervous. That definition never resonated with me. If other neurodivergent people could have a comprehensive explanation of anxiety disorders, maybe they could get the guidance they lack. I may have recognized my problems rather than ignoring them until I had pretty bad depression that summer. Now, I support my friends with their mental well-being, whether that entails being there during their manic episodes or randomly saying, "I love you." We need more organizations like the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) that are by neurodivergent people for neurodivergent people. Those with Mental Illness need to hear the facts and coping mechanisms. They don't need to "cheer up," they have to cope with the disorder. They need access to mental health facilities. If we keep the conversation going, people like my friends can get the help I'm lucky enough to receive.

This meme was sent to me by a good friend of mine who knows my obsession with biological processes like the enzyme shown in the Tik Tok. I love the implications made by the Fifty Shades of Grey audio they chose that makes the enzyme bonding much less innocent. One cannot see the punchline coming on the first watch, and I find that to be comedy gold.

My mom has been sick all my life. She has taught me just how strong women can be no matter how sick or in pain she is. She has made it to my dance recitals almost every year, my brother's boy scout events, and our eighth-grade graduations. She's cooked every night she has been physically able and always walked us to the bus before I could drive. It wasn't for her being my amazing mom, I would never have made it as far as I have. She and my dad have always tried to make up for her downtime by doing hikes, crafts, cooking, and so much more. I'm glad I have my mom behind me supporting everything I aspire to be. Her perseverance through her illnesses will never be for naught. I will make myself the Natalie she knows I will become. I never want her to fear for me and always make the strongest woman I have ever met prouder than she already is. When I have kids, adopted or otherwise, I want them to have even half the love and respect I have for my mom. In the future, I want to love and cherish those kids just as much as my family has spoiled and loved me. I want to be there through any ailment, just like she has, even if it could hurt me in the long run.

STEM is a broad term for the very basics of all life. All of the equations and theories are tied to the very essence of life. Understanding how to build structures to save species on our planet, making medicine to keep us alive, and understanding what makes us, us is the key to being human. STEM is what drives us, whether we like it or not. Personally, I have always loved the biological sciences. The logistical reasonings for how we came to be and how we will be no more has always fascinated me. Viruses, diseases, bacteria, and other transmission vectors and vehicles have fascinated me most of all. Why do they make us sick and how can humanity combat them? In my future pathology career I hope to study them further and diagnose these ailments to pave the way for treatments. Studying STEM at a college level would expose me to so much more biological and virological knowledge than I could ever glean from my Honors or even AP courses. I could pave the way for medical school and a pathology career for myself. All I need is a jumping point into then expanding world of scientific knowledge the educated world can provide.

Legacy. It is something all humans want, but will never be able to define. People want to leave a legacy with little idea of what a legacy means to them. Many may say it means being successful, but they live by others' definitions of success rather than their own. Personally, a legacy is a life I want to leave behind. It is a feeling of accomplishment, happiness, and fulfillment. This can range from creating an entire country to living a happy life in poverty. It is purely subjective to define a legacy, let alone success. To me, success is to be happy with your life. Money and material possessions should not define one's happiness. If you are happy with your career and want to wake up each day, then I think that is a successful life. Whether that job is as an entrepreneur or garbage person should not impact the value of that legacy. Another layer to a legacy is the effect one has on others. For example, Elizabeth Báthory was probably happy with her life, but she was also a prolific serial killer. I do not really see that as a great legacy to have. I want to leave behind a lifetime of saving lives, a happy spouse, and happy children. Most importantly, die with few regrets.

"Shitty is Shitty"- my mom. Like inertia, things that suck will continue to suck until changed by a greater force. One must make peace with what sucks unless they seek to change it. Does the medical system in America suck? In my opinion, yes. But I do not have the power to change that, so I can only share my opinion until I can, or just make peace with it. I cannot heal those, like my mom, with Crohn's disease, so I have to make peace with the fact that she will be sick for the rest of her life like she has. It sucks, but I am unable to change that. So it will continue to suck until something that can change this rears its head.

My mom has been sick all my life. She has taught me just how strong women can be no matter how sick or in pain she is. She has made it to my dance recitals almost every year, my brother's boy scout events, and our eighth-grade graduations. She's cooked every night she has been physically able and always walked us to the bus before I could drive. It wasn't for her being my amazing mom, I would never have made it as far as I have. She and my dad have always tried to make up for her downtime by doing hikes, crafts, cooking, and so much more. I'm glad I have my mom behind me supporting everything I aspire to be. Her perseverance through her illnesses will never be for naught. I will make myself the Natalie she knows I will become. I never want her to fear for me and always make the strongest woman I have ever met prouder than she already is.

My mother has always been sick. I have accompanied her to hundreds of doctor's appointments since I was a little kid. I remember the day that she finally received her Crohn's disease diagnosis after almost 30 years of enigmatic symptoms doctors previously told her were fake. Her Gastrointestinal doctor took biopsies and sent them to a lab and they determined her ailment. If it weren't for those pathologists, my mom would be in so much more pain than she is now. Now, almost ten years later I want to help others on the path to relief. I would love nothing more than to study these samples and catch diseases before they proliferate. There are so many more people in the world who, like my mom, are looking for a diagnosis, whether it be cancer, Celiac disease, or something much worse like Huntington's. They deserve answers and medical help. While all of the diseases listed are incurable, if I can help these people, at least, feel better, then I'm satisfied. I've seen firsthand how a diagnosis changes a life; it feels like puzzle pieces falling into place. My mom has been able to see new doctors, get pain medication, and even see experts like those at Vanderbilt. She can now spend more time with the family and less time in pain. This is the part that the pathologist that diagnosed her does not see. They will never know just how much impact they had on my family. I have no idea who that person was, or how many biopsies they had seen that day, but I am forever indebted to them. I want to be that hero behind the scenes. Patients may never know who I am or even think of me, but I want others to be able to live a better life as my mom has. Even if that means dealing with human feces or watching blood be drawn, knowing full well I will pass out. I've always put others before myself, and I am determined to continue doing so. People will always need doctors and pathologists. The lack of recognition is perfectly fine with me. I never want credit for helping people. Helping people is a thankless act and is so much more than holding the door for others. It's doing selfless things expecting nothing in return. I would never mind examining feces if it meant I could save a life. Knowing I actually helped someone is worth volumes more than any salary or thank you. Human life is worth so much more than any material possession. Pathologists don't always know who they are helping either. Maybe I'll be diagnosing the next Bill Gates with Celiac and he can get the medical help he needs before achieving greatness. I may never know, but I can always imagine helping a single mother making the best of her circumstances or a young man about to create the key to curing cancer. I can change the world by simply keeping the world alive, and that's just fine with me.

In the summer of my sophomore year of high school, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I felt like I did not earn my achievements. My doctor had me go to the onsite therapist who saw me for six months. She retired during the pandemic, and I am in the process of getting into a new therapist. Mental illness is an invisible ailment that is easy to discredit. I have encountered many people who think it is an excuse to be lazy or mean. I wish to educate others on the reality of mental illness, not the romanticized depiction in media. Instead, the debilitating impacts it can have on hygiene, commitment, and relationships. Depression is not always the want to die; it is a prolonged down period. I find it hard to take care of my basic needs, like brushing my teeth every day. My school counselors described anxiety as being afraid on tests or feeling nervous. That definition never resonated with me. If other neurodivergent people could have a comprehensive explanation of anxiety disorders, maybe they could get the guidance they lack. I may have recognized my problems rather than ignoring them until I had pretty bad depression that summer. Now, I support my friends with their mental well-being, whether that entails being there during their manic episodes or randomly saying, "I love you." We need more organizations like the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) that are by neurodivergent people for neurodivergent people. Those with Mental Illness need to hear the facts and coping mechanisms. They don't need to "cheer up," they have to cope with the disorder. They need access to mental health facilities. If we keep the conversation going, people like my friends can get the help I'm lucky enough to receive.

Music has always been important to me. I was literally dancing before I learned to run. Music inspires me to draw, paint, dance, sing, play the ukulele, and so much more. LGBTQ+ musicians have shaped my views of the world; and are the reason I'm suspecting I may be a Lesbian (I'm Questioning). Musicians like dodie, King Princess, Ashnikko, and girl in red made me realize just how beautiful sapphic relationships are. They made me question if I am heterosexual. In every song I listen to, I hear myself. My hopes, dreams, weaknesses, comforts, downfalls, loves, hates, and fears. They see me; not as a number but as a person.

A biochemistry degree would open the door for me to help many people like my mother. I want to be a Biochemical Laboratory technician. Meaning I would test samples of blood, biopsies, and other bodily fluids. Diagnoses can save lives, and I want to help discover things early and do just that. If I can help diagnose a little girl cancer-free or catch Crohn's disease in a young man, then I am part of improving lives. The technician part of this job means I will not have to break this unfortunate news. Perhaps one day, I may seek a Ph.D. in Pathology to move up in the ranks. With a Pathology doctorate, I would be the one to collect samples and test them. These degrees would be a testament to my dedication and perseverance. They would mean that I can pursue a demanding career all on my own. I could actually help people find the truth they have been seeking. I still retain the relief my mother felt when she discovered she has Crohn's disease. If I can bring that same comfort to others, then I would consider my life a success. Diagnoses are an origin point to feeling normal again. They help give people their lives back. Once I graduate with my bachelor's, I intend to apply to a large hospital's laboratory and begin my career. If I really like the job, I may go back to get my Ph.D.

My family and friends are what make life worth living. The good mornings, smiles, inside jokes, adventures, and meals are small yet so significant. Without them, life would lose its luster, and I never want to know a world without them in it. My friends Aleisha and Lily have taken so many day trips with me since we got close. With them, I am finally living the American teenage dream. A lake day, video games, gem mining, thrifting, and aimless drives finally make sense in their company. One of my fondest memories of 2020 was a socially distanced trip to a sunflower field and gem mine with Aleisha and her family. We took so many pictures together since it was a first for both of us. I cannot wait to hang out with the whole group again once the pandemic subsides.

During this pandemic, the international spotlight has been shining more than ever on STEM careers. These people are medical staff, engineers, lab technicians, or infectious disease experts. If it were not for Pfizer or Moderna's scientists, the vaccine would not have rolled out in only nine months, let alone exist. Hopefully, post-pandemic, STEM professions will help to guide humanity toward healthier and safer habits. Health organizations will be able to tackle the unintended health detriments of quarantine. The pandemic has worsened mental health all across the world. The WHO (World Health Organization) will be able to move funding to youth outreach programs. Other than mental health, health organizations need to prepare for the next pandemic. Coronavirus took such a toll because few preparations were in place. Something as simple as a money reserve or a task force could save a plethora of lives. PPE, beds, ventilators, hazard pay, and stimuli if need be. A fund could take the strain off of the national budget during a crisis. Engineers will be able to create ventilators capable of helping more than two patients at an affordable cost. Toward the beginning of this pandemic, shortages of medical equipment cost thousands of lives. Companies such as Tesla converted their factories to meet the demand. Hospitals should save the additional equipment, or at the very least keep them somewhere safe in case they need them again. Lab technicians should study new diseases and their respective treatments. If they can catch the next disease early, they could save millions of lives. Working alongside those like Anthony Fauci, they could keep the public in the loop and safe from new pandemics.

Here's Pibbles chewing on our Christmas tree. The big guy has always liked the crunchy noises of the tree limbs.