Hobbies and interests
Advocacy And Activism
Acting And Theater
Athletic Training
Ballet
Biomedical Sciences
Cognitive Science
Counseling And Therapy
Dermatology
Gymnastics
Volunteering
Makeup and Beauty
Movies And Film
Reading
Adult Fiction
Fantasy
History
Historical
Psychology
True Story
Tragedy
Suspense
I read books multiple times per week
Candace Muhlhauser
295
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FinalistCandace Muhlhauser
295
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FinalistEducation
Arizona State University Online
Bachelor's degree programMajors:
- Engineering Science
Miscellaneous
Desired degree level:
Master's degree program
Graduate schools of interest:
Transfer schools of interest:
Majors of interest:
Career
Dream career field:
Mechanical or Industrial Engineering
Dream career goals:
Future Interests
Advocacy
Volunteering
Philanthropy
Jackanow Suicide Awareness Scholarship
"Come home immediately"
That single text message will haunt me for the rest of my life.
It was from my mother. I quickly thought, what had I done wrong? Nothing came to mind. I responded "I'm out with friends, I'll come home when I can", then continued to joke and laugh with my friends. Again I received another text from my mother:
"Come home now. It's a family emergency."
Worried now, I wondered what it might be. Had someone gotten in an accident? We had a family friend who had been ill, maybe they took a turn for the worse? Or maybe my sister who had been depressed had gotten herself hospitalized again. Soon after I noticed that I recieved an email. I noticed the sender and the start of the subject line. It was my sister's boyfriend, and all it said was "All my love..."
I felt weak. The world spun and I found myself sitting on the ground halfway back to the table with tears silently slipping down my cheeks. While I didn't know with certainty, I had my suspicions. I don't know how long I sat there crying, moments, maybe minutes. However, it felt like hours. My closest friend eventually saw me there silently sitting in a heap on the ground and asked what was wrong.
"I think... I think my sister is dead..." I said weakly. The table fell silent. He came over and helped me to the car and immediately took me home.
When I finally got home I could barely hold myself together. I saw my parents crying in our back room, some dear family friends already there with them. As I came in I barely managed to get the words out, "How bad is it..." I asked trailing off. My mother choked out the words, "She's dead. Suicide. We don't know the details yet." And that's when it hit full force. It was real. She was dead. Thinking it and knowing were entirely different. I had worried the whole way home about what had happened but now found myself in the worst of those possible worlds. I felt weak. I felt sick. The pain came in waves each more overwhelming than the last. I remember the surreal feeling of looking down at myself, at my family, a disembodied feeling. I was in shock, in the worst pain of my life. But I knew I was in shock. I knew it would only get worse from there. It took me 7 years to get back to a place where I could experience true, unadulterated happiness. It took me countless hours of therapy to get myself out of the deep depression and grieving hole that I lived in.
That tragedy in my life changed me. It made me realize that life itself is so fragile and all can be gone in seconds. Now as an adult, I find that this mentality has pushed me to pursue things in life I was always too afraid to go after. It taught me to appreciate every moment I get to spend with my loved ones. Above it all, it taught me the importance of loving yourself. Flaws and all.
Single Mother's Education Scholarship
Becoming a single mother changed the entire course of my future. I dreamed of traveling and experiencing the world. I wanted to pursue a life as a brand consultant for a luxury brand company. I had my life all mapped out and had a very clear picture of what I wanted in my future. Instead, at 19 I found myself pregnant. I was encouraged to marry my high school boyfriend to provide a "family unit" to raise my daughter in. My once predictable, stable, and comfortable life, was flipped upside down. This happy marriage and family unit I was promised, turned into a house of nightmares. I suffered physical, emotional, and financial violence at the hands of someone I thought would love and protect me. It took me 3 years to finally gain the courage to leave that situation.
Now I found myself utterly alone and terrified of what my future holds. I had no degree. I had no job. I had no way of supporting myself, let alone me and my child. I found myself working two full-time jobs just to make ends meet. The derailment of my dreams and future left me feeling at a complete loss on what I should do with my life. I was a child, barely beginning to learn and understand myself and the world; now my daughter depended solely on me to o raise her. There were many nights that I felt like a complete failure in life. I was 21, divorced, financially unstable, and barely getting by. How was I to provide for my daughter and be a strong role model in her life, if I could never get my life together?
Over the course of the next 12 years, I worked in various industries and finally found myself working in medical sales. This career path allotted me the opportunity to save enough money to re-enroll in college. I had to rely on my grit and perseverance to keep pushing me forward in life, even when my troubles seem insurmountable. As of today, I find myself enrolled in the Ira Fulton School of Engineering program at Arizona State University, pursuing a degree in Human Systems Enigeering. I hold a 4.0 GPA and am a Teaching Assitant for Physics and Biology classes at the university. I found my passion in STEM and understanding how humans and technology interact with one another. After years of struggling, I am proud of the woman I have become. I showed myself that I am capable of overcoming any obstacles or setbacks that the universe throws my way. I have become the role model to my daughter that I dreamed of. My daughter is 13 now and she has witnessed me at my lowest and has seen me rise to where I am at today.
I have shown her that it is never too late to pursue your dreams. That hard work, perseverance, and grit there will be nothing that you cant achieve. For the first time in my life, I feel truly happy about the woman I am and what my future holds for me.