Compare and contrast: a skill I learned very early in life. In elementary school my friends and I would compare our snacks, our pencil cases, our backpacks, our favorite toys, and even our shoes. Our comparisons were never taken as a competition, but rather insight into our own personal interest. As I grew older, my comparisons no longer had the childlike innocence, but became a foundation for lies. After graduating elementary school, I had my fears about transitioning into middle school. Everything was bigger, especially the expectations. My mom placed me in the Math and English honors courses due to my well standing grades in both subjects. Despite my grades, I felt that taking those honors courses would be too hard. I was scared that everyone else would be smarter than me and they would question my ability to succeed in the class. My tears and worries failed to persuade my mother, because by the time Fall came, I was stepping into my Math and English Honors class rooms. A sense of intimidation flooded my mind, as I sat in my seat. However, I thought I should attack my fear from a positive outlook. Unfortunately, my outlook quickly faded. Although I never greatly struggled in my honors courses, early on I began to compare myself against my classmates. With every mistake, wrong answer, or bad test score I made myself believe that I could not live up to the expectations. My self-esteem plummeted. I was lost in a sea of lies. I began to ask God why I was a failure; that’s when He laid it on my heart to read Genesis again. As I read about the fall of man, the traits of the Devil began to stand out. He used manipulation and deceit to persuade Adam and Eve that eating the fruit from the tree of good and evil would open their eyes and they would become like God. That is when I realized that I too had been deceived. I learned that the Devil will latch onto our fears and flaws and use that as a way to bring us down. I was so focused on my mistakes that I downplayed any success I had. When talking with God He kept reminding me that I was made perfectly in His image as stated in Genesis 1:27. I am human, which means I will have shortcomings, but it does not mean that I am not worthy, untalented, or anything in between. He reminded me that He has a purpose for life, “plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster” as stated in Jeremiah. As I continue to move through life I keep this revelation close to my heart. A reminder to prevent myself from focusing on my faults. God truly spoke to me at that time in my life. With His guidance and encouragement I have learned to accept my flaws knowing that they do not define my worth.

Most times people are stuck in their own narrative. Naturally we are all focused on our own lives. Our minds are occupied by the tasks thrown on our plates. Everyday, as we move through life, people are watching. They are taking note of how we behave, how we react, what we say and do, but we do not usually think about that. At least, we do not consciously think about it. For the past thirteen years of my life I have been a part of a Mandarin Immersion program. With Mandarin Chinese becoming a popular language, my parents wanted me to be ahead of the curve. I joined the program at my elementary school about half way through the year. I remember feeling everyone’s eyes on me as I walked through the door; sitting in the back row of the rainbow; and noticing that out of all the people in my class I was one of five that were not of Asian descent. I did not know it then, but challenges were in my near future. My class had been named the “guinea pigs” since we were the first to go through the program at our school. There was no set curriculum or foundation or standard, therefore it was difficult for students and parents to have an expectation of what we should be learning. When searching for extra support, besides my teachers, no external help was offered. Despite my circumstances I managed to overcome my situation. I came to my teachers for extra help during school and attended summer programs to retain what I learned that year. Reflecting on my time during the program and remembering the lack of support, I left the program with a bitter taste. However, I knew that it was important for me to help improve it so future children didn’t experience the same challenges. To support the children entering the Mandarin Immersion Program now, I volunteer with the Mandarin Booster Club to help children engage more with the program. I have created audiobooks for the students, volunteered for story time, made cultural presentations, and even planned a few of the cultural events. I feel a sense of responsibility to ensure that students can enjoy learning the language and feel that they have the resources and support to succeed. Even though I had dedicated my time to the program, I did not realize my full impact until a lady came up to me during one of the events. During my time in elementary school a picture of me was put on the website. As the lady was browsing the website she came across my picture. Although she knew nothing of me, just seeing me gave her a sliver of hope that her children would succeed in the program. Seeing the parents and children’s excitement as they share their accomplishments with me always brings a smile to my face. My heart fills with joy knowing that I have made a lasting impact on the people who are a part of this program.