As a teenage girl, I’ve always felt an assumption around the kind of people that struggle with mental health. The stereotypes of people ‘faking’ it or using mental health stuggles as an excuse or attention grab. As someone who is a people pleaser, I hate feeling like a burden or annoying especially to my inner circle of friends and close family. This want to hide any sort of discomfort or personal struggle was okay when it came to over looking a stomache, but sophomore year my need to seem okay became really harmful as I silently struggled with Bulemia. I found myself often unhappy with my appearance, as an athlete my sting muscles just appeared as weight and fat when I looked in the mirror. I knew I couldn’t stop eating, that would inevitably affect my performance. So instead, after anything I ate I immediately searched for the nearest bathroom to pull my trigger. Ideally this had no effect on the people around me, no one had to know I was struggling, it wouldn’t effect my performance at practice. I quickly spiraled, I was binging on anything just to reject it. As I became more aware that this wasn’t a sustainable or healthy mentality, I only became more ashamed and wanted to hide from everyone. I was cancelling dinner plans with my friends, and so thankful when my mom wasn’t putting on a family dinner. Eventually I found the courage to talk to my mom, who immediately worked with me to find a recovery plan and help in anyway she could. As an adult, I hope to find a way to help ensure that the next generation of teenage girls don’t see needing help for mental health as a burden. I don’t believe the focus needs to be on awareness as much as we need to focus on breaking the habits. I’ve always been surrounded by and aware of eating disorders; they run rampid throughout both side of my family for generations. For me though, the awareness made me even more ashamed that I too had fallen into this pattern. With my education I hope to use my past mental health struggles to create something that makes girls able to be honest and vulnerable without having to make it a big deal. Creating a safe space for open discussion, but also prioritizing removing stigmas around eating disorder culture and struggles. I want to use my education to ensure that my future daughters never feel the need to hide there metal struggles from the society built around them.