For DonorsFor Applicants
user profile avatar

Ariana Carr

2,095

Bold Points

1x

Finalist

Bio

I am an autistic student who wishes to pursue psychology and/or sociology. I also love music; I’ve been in band and choir since the fourth grade and I recently started musical theatre during my junior year.

Education

Saint Michael's College

Bachelor's degree program
2024 - 2028
  • Majors:
    • Psychology, General

Stevens High School

High School
2020 - 2024

Miscellaneous

  • Desired degree level:

    Master's degree program

  • Graduate schools of interest:

  • Transfer schools of interest:

  • Majors of interest:

    • Psychology, General
    • Psychology, Other
    • Clinical, Counseling and Applied Psychology
    • Social Work
    • Social Sciences, General
  • Not planning to go to medical school
  • Career

    • Dream career field:

      Mental Health Care

    • Dream career goals:

      To help people with mental health issues and disabilities, specifically autistic people but I want to help anyone I can

    • Bagger/cashier

      Market Basket
      2022 – Present2 years

    Arts

    • Concert band, concert choir, marching band, and musical theatre

      Music
      Matilda the Musical, a lot of concerts, parades, playing field shows at football games, Music in the Parks competition, Monadnock Valley Music Festival
      2020 – Present

    Public services

    • Advocacy

      I posted on social media advocating for marginalized groups
      2020 – Present
    • Volunteering

      Sullivan County Humane Society — Cleaning cages, socializing the cats etc
      2023 – Present

    Future Interests

    Advocacy

    Volunteering

    Elevate Mental Health Awareness Scholarship
    I'm autistic, and wasn't diagnosed until the age of 15. I started getting bullied in elementary school and it continued throughout middle school because people didn't understand why I was the way I was. I wish I could say that changed once I got a diagnosis and opened up about it, but it just got worse. As a result of the bullying and harassment I've endured throughout my childhood and teenage years, I have developed depression and severe anxiety, which causes me physical health problems such as debilitating migraines and stomach aches. Although these experiences have been awful, I still advocate for change. I use my social media platforms often to raise awareness about the struggles that minorities face. I share stories about people who have experienced similar things to myself, and even worse, the devastating outcomes that can occur, such as self harm and even suicide. It is incredibly difficult for me to keep relationships and friendships due to people not understanding the way I am. This has caused me even further mental health issues, which in turn makes it even more difficult to keep these relationships and friendships. It is a vicious cycle. Luckily, I've found a girlfriend and a core group of friends who understand me, although many of these friends are online friends who I can't see in person. It helps to have a group of people in my corner to vent to, talk to, hang out with, etc. Despite my experiences, I have persevered through my high school years while maintaining high grades and leadership in many groups and organizations within my school and community. I have struggled a lot, but I always keep going and end up pushing myself towards my goals regardless. It’s been very difficult because my mental health issues cause me physical health problems as well, which in turn has caused me to miss a lot of school the last few years. Yet I still have great grades and actively participate in so many extracurricular activities, which I believe shows how important it is to me that I push myself to do well. My experiences have made it so that I want to study psychology and pursue a career relating to mental health. I'm not sure what exactly I want to do yet, but I'm leaning towards being a therapist so that I can work with youth who are experiencing mental health issues, bullying, and other problems that contribute to mental health concerns. When somebody needs help I am going to keep advocating for them until they get the appropriate treatment. I want everyone to be able to access adequate healthcare, and that includes mental healthcare, such as counseling and medication. A lot of people don't speak up about mental health issues for a myriad of reasons, such as thinking they won't be believed, or not wanting to be seen as weak. But mental health should not be stigmatized. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength and willingness to go on and get better, and I want to help as many people as possible with this. Thank you for your consideration.
    VNutrition & Wellness’ Annual LGBTQ+ Vitality Scholarship
    I want to be either a social worker or a school counselor and help people, especially youth, get the help and support they need to be the best they can be. Being autistic and lesbian, I've struggled with my mental health due to my social struggles and inability to fit in. I've always stuck out like a sore thumb in any crowd because I'm so different. I have anxiety and depression as well. I want to help people, especially those like me. I want to help advocate for people who are scared to advocate for themselves. Mental health is a stigmatized subject, even though it shouldn't be, and I want people to get the appropriate treatment they need despite that stigma. Everyone deserves to be happy and thrive in life, and I want to help people do just that. I believe that by being a social worker or a school counselor, whichever one of these career paths I decide, I will be able to fulfill this goal. I want to touch as many lives as I possibly can. I know how it feels to suffer in silence. I didn't get help for my mental health until after I was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 15. I have suffered from severe anxiety my whole life, and it wasn't until this evaluation and diagnosis that I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. This was when I was put into therapy and put on a new medication dosage, which really helped. I was on medication before, but I needed more than just some medicine in my body suppressing my anxiety. I needed to learn coping skills to work through it. During this time I also figured out that I was LGBTQ+, which helped me feel better, knowing some of the reasons I felt so different from everybody else. Everyone deserves to have their needs met, and I want to help people make that happen. I have a strong sense of justice, a common autistic trait, and when things aren't fair, I have an urge to make it better. Sometimes it's hard for me to know what to do to help, because I have trouble reading social cues such as facial expressions and tone. I often need people to state directly what they feel or what they need, and most people don't communicate that way. Sometimes they don't know what they need, or sometimes they are embarrassed due to the stigma around certain subjects, or maybe it's a whole different reason. Either way, I want to do my best to help. Everyone deserves to get the help they need. Everyone deserves to be happy, no matter what their background is.
    Aserina Hill Memorial Scholarship
    My name is Ari and I am a senior at Stevens High School in Claremont, a small town in New Hampshire. I am autistic, so I have a couple of "special interests" that I hyperfixate on often, such as music, unicorns and sparkly things, and more importantly, advocating for what I believe in. I'm lesbian and I have a beautiful girlfriend named Onyx, who is transgender, so I often advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and specifically trans rights. I also advocate for autism acceptance, racial equality, and equality in general. I'm in a ton of extracurricular activities, because I can't pick just one or two; I want to make a positive difference in my school in every way possible. I am in Key Club, student council, yearbook, the positive bystander journey group, my school's restorative justice student panel, and the gay straight transgender alliance, to name a few. I am also in concert and marching band as a clarinetist, an alto voice in choir, and I also participate in musical theatre. Outside of school, I am a member of the New Hampshire Student Voice leadership team (my role has changed often, from communications director to social media director to chapters assistant) and I've been doing gymnastics at my local dance and gymnastics classes since I was six years old. I've been working as a cashier and bagger at a local grocery store for a bit over a year, and I also volunteer at my local humane society. Helping the cats is one of my favorite ways to be involved in my community, and I am committed to making a positive difference in all of these ways. After high school, I want to attend Saint Michael's College in Colchester, Vermont. I was accepted there with a $30,000 per year scholarship for earning their book award, related to high academic achievement and commitment to social justice. I want to double major in psychology and sociology, and hopefully become either a school counselor or social worker (I'm not exactly sure which one I'd like to do yet). I want to help people with their mental health specifically, and in other ways if I can. If I could start my own charity, the mission would be about equality for everyone. I want minority groups to be equally included in everything that the majority is included in. Volunteers would do things such as fundraise for causes we believe in (equal rights for everyone) and pledge to stand up for what they believe in, and do something about discrimination when they see it, whether it's to tell an authority figure, or if they are comfortable and have the courage to step in themselves they could do that. Everyone deserves to thrive in society, and I want everyone to experience happiness and inclusion.
    Operation 11 Tyler Schaeffer Memorial Scholarship
    I want to be either a social worker or a school counselor and help people, especially youth, get the help and support they need to be the best they can be. Being autistic, I've struggled with my mental health due to my social struggles and inability to fit in. I've always stuck out like a sore thumb in any crowd because I'm so different. I have anxiety and depression as well. I want to help people, especially those like me. I want to help advocate for people who are scared to advocate for themselves. Mental health is a stigmatized subject, even though it shouldn't be, and I want people to get the appropriate treatment they need despite that stigma. Everyone deserves to be happy and thrive in life, and I want to help people do just that. I believe that by being a social worker or a school counselor, whichever one of these career paths I decide, I will be able to fulfill this goal. I want to touch as many lives as I possibly can. I know how it feels to suffer in silence. I didn't get help for my mental health until after I was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 15. I have suffered from severe anxiety my whole life, and it wasn't until this evaluation and diagnosis that I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. This was when I was put into therapy and put on a new medication dosage, which really helped. I was on medication before, but I needed more than just some medicine in my body suppressing my anxiety. I needed to learn coping skills to work through it. Everyone deserves to have their needs met, and I want to help people make that happen. I have a strong sense of justice, a common autistic trait, and when things aren't fair, I have an urge to make it better. Sometimes it's hard for me to know what to do to help, because I have trouble reading social cues such as facial expressions and tone. I often need people to state directly what they feel or what they need, and most people don't communicate that way. Sometimes they don't know what they need, or sometimes they are embarrassed due to the stigma around subjects such as mental health, or maybe it's a whole different reason. Either way, I want to do my best to help. Everyone deserves to get the help they need. Everyone deserves to be happy.
    Ryan Yebba Memorial Mental Health Scholarship
    I'm autistic, and wasn't diagnosed until the age of 15. I started getting bullied in elementary school and it continued throughout middle school because people didn't understand why I was the way I was. I wish I could say that changed once I got a diagnosis and opened up about it, but it just got worse. As a result of the bullying and harassment I've endured throughout my childhood and teenage years, I have developed depression and severe anxiety, which causes me debilitating migraines and stomach issues. Although these experiences have been awful, I still advocate for change. I use my social media platforms often to raise awareness about the struggles that minorities face. Although my autism is the reason I am bullied, I am also lesbian, which is another reason people are often bullied. I share stories about people who have experienced similar things to myself, and even worse, the devastating outcomes that can occur, such as self harm and even suicide. My experiences have given me insight on how important it is that schools do more about bullying, as I've experienced firsthand that administration doesn't always do enough and the bullying continues regardless. I also advocate for mental health treatment to be easier to obtain, as I didn't get therapy until after my diagnosis of autism, which got me my official diagnosis of social anxiety disorder as well. I had been on medication before, but medication can only do so much. I needed to learn coping mechanisms to help me with my mental health issues, not just take medication to suppress them. My experiences have made it so that I want to study psychology and sociology, and pursue a career relating to mental health. I'm not sure what exactly I want to do yet, but I'm leaning towards being a school counselor or a social worker so that I can work directly with youth who are experiencing mental health issues, bullying, and other problems that contribute to mental health being a concern. I want to continue advocating for the things mentioned above, so that fewer (and hopefully, eventually none) young students have to go through what I did. When somebody needs help I am going to keep advocating for them until they get the appropriate treatment. I want everyone to be able to access adequate healthcare, and that includes mental healthcare such as counseling. A lot of people don't speak up about mental health issues for a myriad of reasons, such as thinking they won't be believed, or not wanting to be seen as weak. But mental health should not be stigmatized. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength and willingness to go on and get better, and (although I want to touch as many lives as possible) even if I can help just one person do that, I will be happy.
    Netflix and Scholarships!
    13 Reasons Why, although triggering to some, is the only show I've ever watched on Netflix so I'm writing about that. It's a very interesting show to me, touching on topics that I care a lot about such as suicide, sexual assault, and mental health. It doesn't do it in the best of ways all the time (Tyler's brutal assault scene made me physically sick and gave me nightmares, and I believe it should have been portrayed a lot differently), but the show can start a dialogue about many important topics. As someone who has struggled with mental health issues and suicidal thoughts myself, I was excited to watch this show, although I had heard a lot of mixed reviews and feelings about it. After watching it, I could see why. The scene I was triggered by, among others, can be very traumatizing to watch for people who haven't been through it, let alone those who have. But I believe some of the best shows are the ones that can start a conversation about important topics, and 13 Reasons Why does just that. After watching, I had conversations with my mom, my younger sister, and a couple of friends who had also watched the show. We were all in agreement that the graphic scene was sickening to watch, and we discussed how that happens in real life to people and how difficult it is to convey how awful it is. That being said, these kinds of topics are very interesting to me, as I want to help those struggling with mental health when I get out of college. Although some parts were unrealistic, I think that it helped me to see how some of these kinds of experiences affect the people who went through them. I've never experienced sexual assault, but I want to help those who have, and seeing how awful it truly is (while also watching other shows about it, and having friends who have experienced it) will help me to help others. Starting conversations about these topics is also helpful because hiding away from them will not make it go away. Mental health, suicide, and sexual assault are unfortunately common in our society, and we need to acknowledge that to do something about it. The scene where Jessica starts a survivor movement in an assembly shows how common this problem is. Although this show can be disturbing at times, I think it's a necessary conversation to have. Shows that can start a dialogue about important topics are generally my favorite shows, and this one did just that. Even though that scene upset me, I am glad I watched the show.
    Mental Health Empowerment Scholarship
    Did you know that 70-80% of autistic people struggle with a comorbid mental illness? I am one of those people. Although autism isn’t a mental illness itself (it’s a disability/neurodivergence), I also have struggled with anxiety my whole life. It was the worst in middle school and the beginning of high school. I have been bullied since the fourth grade and I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until my freshman year, which I believe contributes to my mental health struggles over the years. My mental health also affects my physical health in the form of stomach problems and migraines. As mentioned earlier, I wasn’t diagnosed as autistic until my freshman year. Being female, I masked my autistic traits more and it was harder for the adults in my life to notice. That, combined with the lack of information and education about autism when I was younger, especially about autism in girls, meant that no one knew. I’m the one who figured out I was autistic; I have an autistic friend who I was close with in the eighth grade, and she had a blog about her experiences, which I related to. I started doing tons of research, and that’s how I figured it out and brought it up to my parents. I always knew I was different, which I believe created a lot of my social anxiety. Other kids knew I was different too, and they teased me for it. I was the “weird” kid due to my struggles with social skills, as well as my “odd” traits, such as sensory issues, stimming (a calming behavior autistic people tend to do, like flapping their hands, fidgeting, or rocking back and forth), and slow processing. I didn’t understand when others were joking or being sarcastic. I couldn’t read their facial expressions or gestures. This made communicating with my classmates a nightmare. I developed severe social anxiety. I couldn’t present in class without stumbling over my words because I was nervous about what others would say about me. I was in band and choir (and still am) because I enjoyed them, but I would choke during solo auditions that I desperately wanted to do because I didn’t have the confidence to project loudly enough. I remember my first solo during sophomore year; I was ecstatic that I finally got to experience that. In middle school, I started throwing up from anxiety. The migraines and other stomach issues started freshman year. I had to have an MRI on my head and an endoscopy in my upper stomach to rule out any serious issues. I remember my mom writing an email to the administration at my school begging them to do something about the horrendous bullying that I was experiencing, and detailing how the doctors told her that my anxiety was likely the cause of my physical issues. I was never physically harmed by my bullies, but I was tormented after my diagnosis because I spoke up online about my experiences. I remember saying the senior prank bothered my sensory issues and ending up with over 300 comments, between the kids at my school belittling me and telling me I should go to a “special school” and my friends, mostly online ones, standing up for me. Despite this, I still advocate for mental health awareness and autism acceptance. I am on medication and in therapy now, which is helping my mental health. I am still healing, but my mental health is a lot better because I found people who care for me, and I’m finding healthy coping mechanisms. I learned that it does get better.
    Our Destiny Our Future Scholarship
    Making a positive impact on the world is my whole life goal summed up. I want to improve life for everyone, especially those who have struggled like I have. I'm autistic, so I have a very strong sense of justice, and when something isn't right, I need to do something about it. Currently, I volunteer at my local animal shelter. I love helping the kitties, especially since I have four of my own. That's pretty much the extent of my volunteer service outside of school. But I'm active in many clubs in my school, such as Key Club, Student Council, and National Honor Society. All of these clubs work to make a positive impact. In Key Club, we do a lot of fundraising for the community, like for our local Kiwanis Club chapter, UNICEF, and our local soup kitchen. Student Council does more in-school service, like organizing school dances, pep rallies, and other events, as well as considering student feedback and bringing it up with school administration to make the school a better place. In NHS we do a lot of volunteering and fundraising since some of the pillars are service and leadership. I recently helped organize an NHS fundraiser for the animal shelter that I volunteer at. We didn't have any ideas so I brought that up. I also volunteer to do fundraising for student groups I'm in. My music department is raising money to perform at Universal Studios in Florida in April 2024. I've been a very active part of that, volunteering to help with concessions we sold at school events to raise money. The same thing also goes for my senior class fundraising. There aren't a lot of ways for us to raise money, so we often do concessions at home games and other events. My career goal is to help neurodivergent people and people with mental health issues. As I said before, I'm autistic, and I also have anxiety and depression that I've been battling for years. I want to help people see the good in the world and make people feel happy. Making positive changes is what I live for. I try to go out of my way to do random acts of kindness and make positive changes, despite my anxiety about some of it. I'm learning and growing as a person through this. Making a positive impact is the most important thing to me. I know that it isn't possible for everyone to be completely happy and for everything to be perfect, but I know that I can do my best to make things as amazing as they can be, for the sake of everyone. I want to bring joy to people. I want to see them smile. Everyone deserves to be happy.
    Bright Lights Scholarship
    Everyone has a story, and mine is experienced a lot differently than a lot of others. I'm autistic, which affects every aspect of who I am and what I do, and I'm also lesbian. Some people think that's some kind of awful thing, but the only awful thing about it, in my opinion, is the rampant discrimination that I and other minorities experience. Socially, I'm one of the most awkward people you'll ever meet, and I've only ever had a few friends at once. I like it that way though; I can focus on other things that matter to me. My studies are important for me to focus on, as I want to pursue psychology in college. I know I want to help people who have faced the same struggles as I have, and I also want to help anyone else who is struggling with their mental health. LGBTQ+ people and neurodivergent people are also more likely to struggle with mental health issues, due to discrimination and bullying for being different. Another goal of mine is to help neurodivergent people get the supports they need to thrive in the world. Having been diagnosed as autistic at 15 rather than a young age like 4 or 5 like some of my other autistic friends, I missed out on a lot of supports I could have gotten in elementary and middle school. As a result of that and the constant bullying I experienced that no one seemed to do anything about, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I want to prevent other people from experiencing that sort of thing. It's so difficult to live like that, not having the accommodations you need. To go to college, I need to pay a lot of money. This scholarship would help contribute to that. The college I'm looking at, which recently accepted me, is Saint Michael's College. It costs $66,000 a year to go there, and we don't have the funds for that, but I visited their campus and it's just right for me. So, scholarships are the way to go, even small ones. Every bit counts. It's so important to me to be able to help others who are struggling like I have. Having support from people who understand my experiences has drastically improved my mental health, and I want to do the same for others. Everyone deserves to live a happy and comfortable life as themselves.
    VonDerek Casteel Being There Counts Scholarship
    Everyone has a story, and mine is experienced a lot differently than a lot of others. I'm autistic, which affects every aspect of who I am and what I do, and I'm also lesbian. Some people think that's some kind of awful thing, but the only awful thing about it, in my opinion, is the rampant discrimination that I and other minorities experience. Socially, I'm one of the most awkward people you'll ever meet, and I've only ever had a few friends at once. I like it that way though; I can focus on other things that matter to me. My studies are important for me to focus on, as I want to pursue psychology in college. I know I want to help people who have faced the same struggles as I have, and I also want to help anyone else who is struggling with their mental health. LGBTQ+ people and neurodivergent people are also more likely to struggle with mental health issues, due to discrimination and bullying for being different. Another goal of mine is to help neurodivergent people get the supports they need to thrive in the world. Having been diagnosed as autistic at 15 rather than a young age like 4 or 5 like some of my other autistic friends, I missed out on a lot of supports I could have gotten in elementary and middle school. As a result of that and the constant bullying I experienced that no one seemed to do anything about, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I want to prevent other people from experiencing that sort of thing. It's so difficult to live like that, not having the accommodations you need. To go to college, I need to pay a lot of money. This scholarship would help contribute to that. The college I'm looking at, which recently accepted me, is Saint Michael's College. It costs $66,000 a year to go there, and we don't have the funds for that, but I visited their campus and it's just right for me. So, scholarships are the way to go, even small ones. Every bit counts. It's so important to me to be able to help others who are struggling like I have. Having support from people who understand my experiences has drastically improved my mental health, and I want to do the same for others. Everyone deserves to live a happy and comfortable life as themselves.
    Mental Health Scholarship for Women
    Did you know that 70-80% of autistic people struggle with a comorbid mental illness? I am one of those people. Although autism isn’t a mental illness itself (it’s a disability/neurodivergence), I also have struggled with anxiety my whole life. It was the worst in middle school and the beginning of high school. I have been bullied since the fourth grade and I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until my freshman year, which I believe contributes to my mental health struggles over the years. My mental health also affects my physical health in the form of stomach problems and migraines. As mentioned earlier, I wasn’t diagnosed as autistic until my freshman year. Being female, I masked my autistic traits more and it was harder for the adults in my life to notice. That, combined with the lack of information and education about autism when I was younger, especially about autism in girls, meant that no one really knew. I’m actually the one who figured out I was autistic; I have an autistic friend who I was close with in the eighth grade, and she had a blog about her experiences, which I related to. I started doing tons of research, and that’s how I figured it out and brought it up to my parents. I always knew I was different, which I believe created a lot of my social anxiety. Other kids knew I was different too, and they teased me for it. I was the “weird” kid due to my struggles with social skills, as well as my “odd” traits, such as sensory issues, stimming (a calming behavior autistic people tend to do, like flapping their hands, fidgeting, or rocking back and forth), and slow processing. I didn’t understand when others were joking or being sarcastic. I couldn’t read their facial expressions or gestures. This made communicating with my classmates a nightmare. I developed severe social anxiety. I couldn’t present in class without stumbling over my words because I was nervous about what others would say about me. I was in band and choir (and still am) because I enjoyed them, but I would choke during solo auditions that I desperately wanted to do because I didn’t have the confidence to project my voice or instrument. I remember my first solo during sophomore year, I was ecstatic that I finally got to experience that. In middle school I started throwing up from anxiety. The migraines and other stomach issues started freshman year. I had to have an MRI on my head and an endoscopy in my upper stomach to rule out any serious issues. I remember my mom writing an email to administration at my school begging them to do something about the horrendous bullying that I was experiencing, and detailing how the doctors told her that my anxiety was likely the cause of my physical issues. I was never physically harmed by my bullies, but I was tormented after my diagnosis because I spoke up online about some of my experiences. I remember saying the senior prank bothered my sensory issues and ending up with over 300 comments, between the kids at my school belittling me and telling me I should go to a “special school” and my friends, mostly online ones, standing up for me. I am on medication and in therapy now, which is helping my mental health. I am still healing, but my mental health is a lot better because I found people who actually care for me, and I’m finding healthy coping mechanisms. I learned that it really does get better.
    Maida Brkanovic Memorial Scholarship
    I am a high school senior who will be a first-generation college student. Being autistic and being the first person in my immediate family to attend a four-year college, I am determined to make it work. I want to make my parents proud. They couldn't afford to attend four years of college. Even though the financial aspect of attending college is going to be a struggle for me, I want to study psychology and sociology in college and have a career that helps people like me who struggle with mental health. Being a first-generation college student influences my determination to go to college and to make it work. Since I'm autistic, my family and I both have our concerns about how I'm going to do living on my own and being in college, but I am making my best efforts to make it happen and to do well. I desperately want to help those who are like me. Sophomore year, I struggled with autistic burnout due to constantly masking my autistic traits, as well as a ton of bullying that I experienced throughout my school years. However, I've faced these challenges head-on and pushed through them, being in the top 10 of my class and participating in lots of extracurricular activities despite my spotty attendance and declining physical and mental health. I am doing a lot better now, but my anxiety still gets the best of me sometimes. But I am committed to pushing through this challenge just like I have pushed through every other difficulty I've faced in life. Being a first-generation college student gives me challenges such as financial worries and stress about how college is going to work since I don't have many people I can ask about that kind of thing, but the way I see challenges is that they are opportunities for me to learn and grow. I haven't always seen challenges that way; I've been knocked down by tough situations before and made to think that I am not good enough. However, I've learned that I can do what I set my mind to as long as I put in the effort and that I deserve to hold myself to the best standards I can. Being a first-generation student means that I need to persevere and help myself grow. I am a very resilient student, which is shown by my growth and strength throughout many challenges. Being a first-generation college student, and my willingness to power through the difficulties of that, shows that I have the resilience and determination needed to thrive in college. Despite my health struggles, both mental and physical, over the last few years, I've been determined to help people like me since day one, and I am going to make it happen no matter what.
    Elizabeth Schalk Memorial Scholarship
    Have you ever felt completely powerless? Being an autistic girl who wasn’t diagnosed until the age of fifteen, I know all too well how difficult it is to deal with mental illness. Autism isn’t a mental illness, but being autistic makes you more vulnerable to comorbidities, or conditions alongside autism. For me, that’s anxiety and depression, among a couple of chronic physical illnesses. Autistic people are four times as likely to experience depression and/or anxiety as neurotypical people. I’ve had anxiety since I was little. I don’t remember when I actually realized I had it. My mom saw it in me, since she also has anxiety. I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, alongside autism spectrum disorder, in 2021. I was 15. My anxiety makes it incredibly difficult to do basically anything. When I just leave the house, I begin to feel nauseous and sick. During middle school, I would often throw up from it. I was put on medication, which helps, but I still struggle daily. Near the end of my first semester of my sophomore year, when I was sixteen, I struggled a lot with autistic burnout. Autistic burnout is different from an allistic person’s burnout because, while allistic burnout is often caused by the stress of work or school, autistic burnout is often due to the fact that we mask our autistic traits, or pretend to be allistic in order to fit in with others. Autistic burnout affects our whole nervous system. Since I hadn’t been diagnosed until a year prior, I struggled a lot with burnout. My anxiety was at an all-time high. I was in two honors classes in this semester, which was not helping my mental state. I was having suicidal thoughts because I was so stressed and I was feeling extremely depressed. I was realizing how much I missed out on supports, especially in my middle school years, because I wasn’t diagnosed earlier. Autism often gets missed in girls because we mask a lot more in order to fit in with others. I also desperately needed an update to my 504 plan, which gives me accommodations such as being able to leave the room if I get overwhelmed, and being able to wear headphones. My counselor had said I would get an update, but it wasn’t happening. My mental health was deteriorating. I stopped doing work for a couple weeks because I was mentally and physically exhausted. My loved ones were really worried about me. Eventually, my honors biology teacher, who I am still grateful for to this day, brought me to the guidance office while I was having a rather difficult day. I was having a meltdown due to the smallest noises in the classroom. She told the guidance counselor that I needed my 504 updated. She really got this meeting going and I am very thankful for that. I got support I needed, and I was put on medication which also helps to manage my depression as well as the anxiety. I also started therapy. Almost two years later, I am thriving a lot more. I still struggle with anxiety and sometimes feel depressed once in a while, but I have a loving girlfriend as well as friends, family, and a therapist that all support me and love me for me. I am grateful for everyone who has helped me. I am a lot more strong and resilient now. Mental illness doesn’t have to stop you from happiness. You are brave and can push through with the right supports. As hard as it is, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself.