Zakita D. Bond Memorial Scholarship

Getting overwhelmed in life is inevitable. However, single moms have a lot more stressors than other people and it's hard to find the time to unwind without feeling any guilt. People who don't have children get to choose when they unwind after a stressful day, whereas single moms sometimes don't know the next chance they'll get to unwind and sometimes it's interrupted by the responsibilities of being a parent. I used to feel full of guilt and lost when my son went to his dad's house for the weekend. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had given so much of myself to being a mom for so long that I forgot how to be alone and what I liked to do with my free time. After expressing these feelings to my therapist, I now know that I should take that time I have alone to reset myself so that I'm a better mother in the long run. I came to the realization that I should never procrastinate when I have free time. I know it's rare for single moms to get the opportunity to relax and that makes me so grateful that I have a chance to regularly. After I drop off my son at his dad's house, I go home to clean and work on the assignments for school that are due and get ahead for the following week. When I'm done cleaning and studying, I can feel the weight of the anxieties of my life lift from my shoulders. I love to catch up on my favorite shows, work on my shadow work journal, practice some self-care, cook a nice meal for myself, and get some quality sleep. These techniques help me reset myself because it reminds me that I'm not only a mom - I'm still my own person. I still have my own hobbies, interests and needs. It's important for all moms, single or not, to realize how important it is to take care of their mental health without feeling guilty about it. Society has made it so controversial for moms to be selfish sometimes. Why? As the common knowledge of mental health and self-care progresses, I feel that society will continue to be easier on single moms. Hopefully, there will be more resources and community support to help all single moms have the chance to unwind without feeling the weight of guilt.