Ryan Murray Red Canyon Scholarship Award

Jane Austen once wrote, “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” This same sentiment can be applied to my writing, which is to say I am tongue-tied by my love for it. I love it in a jealous way, in a bothered way, in a Robin Williams manic way. Writing, as frustrating as it can be, is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life; it feels like a second skin. At six years old, I would write songs in a bedazzled notebook, falsely believing I could sing them too. At twelve years old, I wrote my first poem for a speech and drama class in school. Though I quickly developed a style sans rhyme, I loved working with rhythm, manipulating the same sing-song quality I appreciated years ago. I ran headlong into the literary world of short stories at sixteen, and I recently tried my hand at memoir writing. Through these experiences, I am able to better understand myself and my position in society. Not only is writing an art, but it’s also a tool one can use to practice empathy and compassion; I love the world most when I write. High school did not offer creative writing courses, but I learned to refine my craft through the numerous research papers I wrote. I liked "playing" with sentences, shaping them in unique ways and implementing the occasional metaphor. My English teacher noticed something in my writing. Rather, he noticed something in me. I took AP Seminar my sophomore year and English Composition my senior year with this teacher. During the whirlwind of college and scholarship applications, my teacher wrote letters of recommendation for me and read over my personal statement . As our bond over words grew, I asked my teacher if he would read a portion of my poetry. Sharing my poetry, though it may not seem like it, is one of the greatest acts of trust. Poetry is embarrassing, every thought and feeling and grueling desire or worry written down. I remember telling him that my poetry is my soul. And it is. Later that day my teacher emailed me, saying he would never judge my soul. A few days before graduation, my English teacher gave me a letter and a book. He told me that when he was in high school, a teacher did the very same thing for him. Inside the cover of the book, my teacher wrote, "I hope you never stop writing." Other than my parents, I've never had an adult believe in my writing ability. Whenever someone asks me what I want to do for a career, I always sense their dismay when I tell them I want to be a writer. I think they see a bright kid suddenly without a future. And I know it's going to be hard, but why can't I do it? This teacher encouraged me to pursue my dream in a way I never expected but always wanted. I am starting college in four days as an English major with an emphasis in creative writing. I am overjoyed and so thankful for the experiences in high school that championed my passion.